Saturday Swag-urday on Sunday

Because I'm lazy, or tired, or busy, or all of the above.

Putting together a massive photo contest like my Merry Effing Christmas one is hard work.

And, following hard work I want to do two things: 1) eat, which obviously explains so much and proves that I am, quite possibly, one of the hardest working people around, and 2) avoid additional hard work.

So, that's sorta what I did yesterday which explains why Saturday Swag-urday is showing up on Sunday.

Better late than never. That's what I always say (actually, that's a lie. I rarely say that because I hate it when people are late and often, after being forced to wait ridiculously long periods of time, wish they decided never to show up thereby letting me off the now-that-you're-apologizing-I-am-forced-to-say-it's-okay-even-though-I'm-certain-that-it-most-absolutely-is-not! hook*)

But, you'll forgive my tardiness when you see that I actually do have a little bit of swag lying around here to share with you lovely people today.

A while ago (actually, an embarrassingly long while ago) something yummy and smart showed up at my door.

I happily busted it opened and shared its scrumdiddliumptiosness with the dudes.

We grubbed on it while soaking up it's smartness.

And then, we shoved part of it in the pantry, where it was lost among all of the other yummy, and the other part in our playroom, where it was just lost.

But, then.

I discovered Mister I-can-open-doors-like-a-big-boy-and-help-myself-to-snacks like this...



And, I remembered that I had this...



to share with all of you.

Cheerios (who doesn't think Cheerios are yummy?) and books (what the heck is smarter than that?)?!

Cheerios' yummyness has again joined with Simon and Shuster's smartness to sponsor the Spoonful of Stories campaign that has put more than 35 million books inside of Cheerios boxes to help encourage reading.

It's genius really, because at Casa de Dummies, pretty much every "quiet" (as if there is such a thing) activity is accompanied by Cheerios.

And, in fact, #3 is almost always available for comment with a bag of Cheerios in hand. They are quite handy on the occasions wherein I momentarily lose track of him. All I have to do is follow the trail of ants that are following the trail of Cheerios to his hiding place.

Wanna add a little whole grain reading fun to your day?

You can find these smarty pants boxes of Cheerios featuring titles from all types of acclaimed (and brand spankin' new) authors in grocery stores near you.

Or, you can just enter this giveaway before 12/3/09 at midnight and not even bother with searching town for your specially marked box of yummy.

How exactly does one get hooked up with a book stuffed box of Cheerios courtesy of Dumb Mom (actually, it's courtesy, which understand is another word for FREE, of Cheerios but that's sorta like the same thing)?

Easy.

1. Follow me!

2. Leave a comment telling me your favorite flavor of Cheerios, because you know there are all sorts of different ways (like 10) you can enjoy your cholesterol-reducing-whole-grain heroes these days. I'm an Apple-Cinnamon girl myself.

3. Do it all by 12/3/09 at midnight.

That's it.

Totally adheres to my post-hard work rules: it involves food, and it's not anything like hard work at all!

Also, don't forget to check out my big, giant, celebrity level Merry Effing Christmas Photo Contest before you go as well because there are some SERIOUS prizes to be had over there too.

Ser. I. Ous!

*That whole I-hate-late comment excludes my one, very awesome, we-love-you-anyway buddy (you know who you are!) because we simply adjust the time to account for your lateness. That's only just because we love you that much. Were you less awesome, we'd have cut you off like 3 years ago:)!

Saturday Swag-urday: For Dads

I'm sick of talking about toys and kid stuff.

Besides, until I sit down and help the dudes compose their begging letters to Santa, I'm all outta inspiration so I might as well start thinking about what I'm gonna get Hubby.

He's the hardest to shop for anyway and I always wind up running around like a crazy person trying to find "the gift" for him at the last minute.

I think I've proven that I'm a slow learner, and this is no exception.

It's pretty much the exact same story year after year.

I am intimidated by the fact that he never wants anything that I can afford (and by I, I mean he, because I totally just use the credit card he pays the bill on anyway, and then I feel bad when the gift is so-so because I coulda just let him pick his own gift since technically it's his money anyway!).

But, instead of starting early and doing research, I actually wait until the last minute, avoiding the task like the plague. Then, I wind up crying on Christmas Day when I hand him his crappy old dress shirt and gift card to Barnes and Noble.

Same story.

Every year.

Without fail.

The hardest part is that he's always all nice about it. He tells me to relax because he really does like books and he really does need dress shirts. And, he tells me that he is just happy I thought to get him anything.

And then? Then I feel even worse because I know that I didn't really think of it. I avoided think of it and that's why he's sitting on the couch with a tear stained, reused gift bag on his lap instead of something he really wanted like, um, er, something else.

So, this year is gonna be different.

I've actually put some thought into what I'm gonna get him (with his money) and hopefully all of my hard work will help you too!

Appreciate this people. You know I HATE doing research!

PBD's Ultimate Bomb Diggity Gift Giving Guide for 2009, Dad Edition

1. A new ipod. The old one is busted. He LOVES music. No brainer. I considered getting him an iphone just for the sake of convenience, but he loves his Blackberry (and we have the little issue of the contract *insert ominous sounding, your life is doomed music*).

2. Play by Givenchy with Justin Timberlake. Admittedly, this one is not entirely for him. I mean, I don't see anything wrong with buying something we can enjoy together. I just figure if he can't look (or dance, or sing, or act) like Justin, he could at least smell like Justin. Because you know what? Justin smells good! Amazingly good! And now Hubby will too.

3. A GPS. Let me just be honest. This one is not entirely for him either. This one is partly for our marriage because I swear if he calls me from Philadelphia again when he was just supposed to be going to the mall I swear, it's over. He was essentially born without a sense of direction at all. He gets lost going to the bathroom at night! And ask for directions? No effing way! He's a classic dude in that regard and it drives me batty! So, GPS here he comes!

4. The Holy-Crap-Are-You-Kidding-Me-I'm-LMAO-Looking-At-You-In-Those-Stupid-A$$-Night-Vision-Goggles. He's still a little depressed that, after waiting in line with the geekier than the geek squad crew for over an hour, I wasn't able to procure the coveted treasure. I'm sure I'll have to sale my soul to the Devil (aka Sony) to get him a pair, but I'm hoping to work out a less eternal deal. We'll see!

5. Some Bar Gear. For some reason, Hubby thinks he's the next Brian Flanagan.



Sorry, Honey, but no matter how many of these little shaking dohickeys I getcha, you are never gonna be able to work a bottle (or your hips) like Tom Cruise. Not gonna happen!

6. New jeans. Think he's been wearing his current pairs since college, or shortly there after. It's time to upgrade a bit because Old Navy Loose Fit Painters just ain't doin' it for me anymore. I wish he'd consider these William Rast ones (can't look like him, but can dress like him, right?!), but he won't. Just on principle. I might be able to get him into these, though.

I think this is it for now...

Still kicking around a few ideas.

He's not gonna get all of this stuff anyway, maybe one or two things, but at least I've put some thought into it. At least I have a starting point and I can go from there.

It's the least I can do to keep from presenting him with another work related clothing item or a yep-this-is-all-I-got-because-I-don't-have-a-creative-bone-in-my-body gift card.

He always gets me amazing gifts (my DSLR camera, my ipod, my laptop for crying out loud!).

The least I could do is try.

And, I am open for suggestions, so if you have any do me a favor and leave them in the comments section, I'm dying over here!

*Obviously Hubby doesn't read this crap, otherwise Christmas would be so ruined (if you are reading today, Hubby, please note that I, from time to time, like to turn my blog into a work of fiction. This is perhaps, one of those times.)

Saturday Swag-urday: So Dang Smart

Loads of people are smarter than me.

Don't try to argue, I'm fine with it and I have other qualities that I like to focus on.

For example, I'm funny.

Maybe not Tina Fey funny or Sarah Silverman funny, but I'm at least like Queen Latifah funny.

You know, not stand up comedian material, but I can pull off a good joke or a three minute comedic sequence from time to time with no problem.

So, yeah, I'm good with the whole not-the-smartest-mom-on-the-block label.

Being the funny-lady-with-the-three-boys is way easier to live up to, you know because people don't expect much (like they never suspect that I'm gonna blog the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta their ignorotic (ignorant and idiotic combined expertly to express my point) selves when I get home!)

But, I get really peeved when toys outsmart me.

I wrote two whole posts (that all of ten people read; now's your chance, though! Post 1 & Post 2) dedicated entirely to being outwitted, outsmarted, and outlasted by super intelligent super toys.

But, I've decided to take a new approach to big brain toys.

Instead of shunning them, avoiding them, and letting their batteries run out, I'm going to embrace the fact that they probably scored higher than me on the college entrance exam, invite them into my home, and encourage them to go to work on my kids.

You know, so I don't have to.

Here are some that could be getting special invites this Christmas season:

Mindflex, because some toys are so friggin' smart, they are scary, and sometimes scary is fun (unless it's outer space scary and then it's so not fun). This toy is so smart I honestly can't even figure it out, so watch the video and then proceed with caution. #2 is obsessed with mind control so he thinks this toy would be an amazing addition to his mind controlling arsenal. I personally don't think he can concentrate on anything (other than torturing his brother) long enough to get results, but if Santa has anything to say about it, we may just see a huge leap in #2's mindcontrolability. Shoot me now.

Eco-Friendly Cookware and Dining Set, because being green is always smart*. And, in this case it's fun, too. #3 is my resident foodie and he loves cooking in his kitchen. He has already developed the stereotypical this-is-my-grill-so-check-yo-self-before-you-wreck-yo-self dude-tude. He's not to be disturbed when he's in "the zone", and if you (or more specifically, his brothers) dare to creep a finger into his "creative space", be prepared to lose it. So, he's been in the market for some new cookware for quite some time and Oompa was nice enough to send him this set of environmentally smart dishes as the are not only cute and functional, but they are safe too.



Safe for food (you can really eat off of them and microwave them w/o having to worry about icky toxins creeping into your guts), for kids' mouths (they can suck the crap outta them and not be sickened by lead), and for the world (they are made outta recycled milk jugs like all of the toys in the Green Toys line up).

Little Music Lovers, because smart music makes you smarter*.



Or, so they say. I think smart music makes you tired, but that's just me. I'm a huge fan of classical music, sometimes. There's a time and a place for it is all I'm saying. Like, when it's your turn to host mommy group. You put on the classical my-kid's-a-mental-giant music when you want the other mommies to think you actually listen to it and you really have no idea why your kid is singing "Birthday Sex" at the top of his lungs. But, we are not huge fans of this for daily play time (or Birthday Sex really, it just came on the radio and caught his attention with it's sex infused beat, I swear). We like to bring sexy back with JT, or get it started with the Black Eye Peas a lot more than we like to rock with Bach, but that's just us.

$10 toys, because get toys on the cheap makes you feel smart, ,especially when you're spending all the money you saved on a smart new pair of heels, or a smart new handbag for yourself:)!. Check out Walmart and Target for these great deals.

Automoblox, because some smart toys are just fun. These neat little vehicles are completely disassembleable (I know it's not a word, but it fits so deal with it). And, if you're like Casa de Dummies you will have more than one which means the parts are interchangeable too. You do have to be smart enough to keep all of your pieces within eye shot so that they aren't permanently digested by the toy box monster, but other than that these look like the smartest and most fun toy Santa will probably bring this year. Although, I'm thinking the DS and the Razor will also be pretty big hits!

Now, I know I was supposed to announce the winner of the Happily (un)Haunted Photo Contest today, but...since I was busy with this yesterday I haven't had a chance to compose the eloquently written tribute post so please don't hate me for saving it for tomorrow. You understand. And, if you're desperate to know, you can go ahead and tally up all 100 and something comments yourself and end the suspense. I'll be in the bathroom.

*PBD Admits it's Free Disclaimer: Some of the items discussed in this post were given to us to try out for free. We like free stuff a whole bunch, but rest assured that if it sucks we'll tell you, even if it is free.

Saturday Swag-urday: Movies & Games

Before we jump headlong (always wanted to say that!) into today's PBD's Ultimate Bomb Diggity Gift Giving Guide of 2009 post, let me mention that there has been another entry into the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest.

That's right people, two whole entries, this baby is heating up!

Our latest entrant is entitled "Unhappy Chicken" and it was submitted by Sharon from the Yummy Mummy Club.



Cute, right?!

Thanks for your entry, Sharon, and good luck!

Hopefully, this adorable photo will inspire other procrastinating mommas to post their entries, and remember, peeps, they don't even have to be from this Halloween!

On to the goods.

I swear, every week that goes by gets you closer and closer to being Sinbad (or even worse, Arnie) in Jingle All the Way.



And, we both know, you SO don't wanna be the female version of Sinbad (or even worse, Arnie) at any point in your life.

No need to worry, Dumb Mom, expert on nothing who knows just about everything is here to save the day!

And, this week I'm bringing you DVDs and board games!

We are a digital family 'round these parts.

We have it all, iPods, gaming systems, BluRay players, etc.

Basically, if it plugs in, we probably own it or are considering buying it.

We also have a healthy obsession (oxymoron, much?) with movies.

Our collection of home movies has changed quite a bit in recent years (less Scorsese more Disney), but it has continued to grow exponentially.

So, while I don't consider myself a film critic, per se, I do feel that I have experienced enough through the eyes of my boys to let you in on some that may be a hit with your little people. Provided they are like mine, obnoxious lovers of knights, blood, and mind control.

Dumb Mom's List of Movies to Own Her Boys Say They Love

5. Snow White and the Seven Dwarf's. As we only recently received this film from One2One Network for review, they have not yet had the chance to watch it to the point of memorization, but I'm sure it will quickly move to that. I was skeptical about whether or not they would enjoy this title (I didn't think the boys would love the collar popped singing diva with mommy issues who was followed around by a band of suspiciously small and not very smart little people), but it has two things going for it: 1) A hero; which is their main requirement for a film to be a hit, and 2) A villain; a hero really can't be a hero without one, can they? It's funny that my dudes had never seen this film (since it's the one that started it all by coming out in 1937!). That's the problem with Disney locking movies in their fantasy torture chamber (they call it "the vault"); whole generations of kids are never exposed to the magic. The thing I love about this newly released version of the film is that it's been remastered as part of Disney's Diamond Collection so it doesn't look all fuzzy, and grainy, and old. Plus, the Diamond Edition comes as a two disk pack with a Blu-ray disk and a DVD so they can take it on the road to places that don't have a Blu-ray player (like Mimi's house). I do have a small bone to pick with Miss White. What is with the whistle song? My kids haven't stopped whistling all week and it's really starting to irk me. I've informed them that the only time whistling is acceptable is when they are working; I'm thinking it will stop now.

4. Spy Kids is tied with The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl. These movies suck. They suck so bad that I can't even stand to listen to them so they have been eternally banned from the car to prevent me from throwing myself from a moving vehicle. Spy Kids movies are corny and the actors are pretentious. And, saying that I hate Shark Boy is putting it nicely because really the whole time I was watching that movie I was sitting there wishing he would die. The only remotely interesting tidbit about Shark Boy and Lava Girl is that Shark Boy grows up to be Jacob Black, the lovely #2 after Bella's heart in Twilight. But, all my nasty words aside, my kids love these crapass films and watch them repeatedly. So, if your kids aren't bothered by bad acting, annoying dialogue, and predictable plot lines, run on over to Target and pick these up.

3. Jumangi. The oldest movie we own is probably about to disintegrate from over playing. Even though it looks like it was recorded 75 years ago they love it. Love. It.

2. School of Rock. It did teach #2 how to effectively use the word ass in a sentence, but other than that, it's awesome. The music is great, Jack Black is hilarious, and the child actors are funny and not all child actory.

1. Nacho Libre. Not sure this is exactly appropriate for kids, but it's appropriate for Dumb Mom's kids, and they've seen it so much by now it really makes no difference. I think we may have a thing for Jack Black. And, I know we have a thing for Mexican wrestlers.

As far as games are concerned, I have a few halfhearted suggestions because, to be honest, we don't really do board games.

People are always gifting them to us because they think that we will think that they have family game night and they want us to think that because that's what well adjusted families are supposed to do together.

Well, this possibly-ill-adjusted-family-of-five-with-a-spirited-toddler DOES NOT play board games together. Or, let me say, we try to avoid playing board games together.

So, should you be so inclined to give us one, let me tell you what is likely to happen to it: a) it will be regifted, b) it will be opened and played with piecemeal, or c) it will never, ever be opened and instead will spend its life wrapped in plastic under the bed along with the suitcases that will also never see the light of day.

But, from time to time, we do get all crazy and have a little ending in disaster friendly competition. And, when we do, we enjoy the following in no particular order.

Barrel of Monkeys. Costs $5 at Target and leads to endless fun, even though #2 cheats like a mofo.

Battleship. I school #1 in this game. I make it a point to sink his battleships before he sinks mine; you know, to teach him a little bit about strategizing. I don't believe in letting kids win; you gotta earn it around here, Pal.

Chutes and Ladders. Another one in which #2 cheats like a pro, and as long as he's winning and you refrain from calling his cheating bluff, it's all good. Start making accusations and someone gets hurt. I mean, that's just not fun, but somehow I get suckered into this bullcrap at least once a month. I've started hiding the stupid game so he can't insist we let him beat us in it play it with him.

Happy shopping!

Saturday (Not as Dumb as I Look) Swag-urday

First, before I get carried away with today's post, let me just send a shout out to Deb Thaxton @ Web-Savy Mom. You won the Looney Tunes stuff!

Go Deb!

Okay, moving right along, so I've been accused once or twice of not actually being a dumb mom.

I'm not sure where these nay sayers hail from, but let me assure you I am as dumb (and moody, and unmotivated, and willing to tell a lie for a cookie) as I say.

I'm not perpetrating as an ignoramus just to get you to read this blog regularly (which, for the record, is not working anyway).

I really, truly am a dumb mom, as I define it.

How do I define it?

Easy.

Dumb Mom (n.): a female parent who consistently fails at being awesome due to lack of effort, lack of knowledge, and/or lack of intelligence.

How's that work for ya?

I'm most notably a failure at being awesome because of the first two. Basically, my lack of effort causes me to lack knowledge that, were I to have it, could lead to my awesomeness.

I've really just never been one of those research it type people, and becoming a mom hasn't made me one.

When I was busy stocking up on baby items for #1, people were always asking me what car seat (or stroller, or infant chair, or playpen) I was planning to buy. And, once informed of my choice, they would generally ask something along the lines of, "Oh, did that get good safety ratings?", or "Is that approved by (the agency whose name I'm unaware of that's in charge of approving crap for babies)?".

I would have to smile (my response to being uncomfortable/nervous/embarrassed) and lie distract them with some other information, because honestly, I picked every last item used by my child based on a) how it looked and b) how much bank it was gonna cost me.

I wanted the cute one that was part of the set that I saw on Friends. Somehow admitting this, or that I just didn't give a care, seemed inappropriate.

Shallow? Perhaps.

True? Definitely.

And, the trend continues today.

I really don't invest much time in researching what I should buy (unless you count scanning through celebrity mags to see what Gwen Stefani got) for the dudes.

It's just not my way.

I buy what I like, because I like it (and so do other people who are cool).

Not to mention, I don't have time to comb through countless ridiculously boring information based websites to figure it all out. I figure, if some kid blew up in it, I'd have heard about it on MSN, right?

But, being a Dumb Mom doesn't mean I'm uneducated (despite how it may sound at the moment).

As a matter of fact, I often refer to myself as "the highly educated dumb mom of 3".

I've spent a whole crap load of cash beefing up my education, and not to brag or anything (cough, graduated with a 4.0 from UMD), but I was an exceptionally good student.

For whatever reason, my academic excellence has not infiltrated my motherhood as I had originally hoped and I spend an embarrassing amount of time being outsmarted by my cunning, meticulous, evil masterminds children.

But, if there's one thing my Master's degree in education has taught me, it's the value of a good book.

In my former life, I was an English teacher whose mission in life was "to create a love of reading in every child".

Needless to say, my house is like the children's section of the public library.

My kids have countless books of all genres. They have subscriptions to numerous periodicals. They have books on tape. Books on CD. Picture books. Chapter books. Books. Books. Books!

And, they actually read them. Constantly.

So, no surprise that Santa shows up with a stack of books for each one of the dudes every single Christmas.

Here are some that will be shooting down our chimney this season:

For #1. He's an independent reader who enjoy graphic novels, mysteries, books that have been adapted into films, numerous series, and choose your own adventures. He's the easiest to shop for because he is willing to try just about anything with words. He's like the Anthony Bourdain of books.

-Some book in the Magic Pickle series. He kept the first one out from the library long enough that we coulda bought the entire series for the amount we paid in fines. I think a copy of his own would be a good investment.

-Star Wars Mad Libs. These are fun so I'll get them for him and force him to do them with me.

-The Tales of Beedle the Bard. It's the convoluted fables of the wizarding world complete with commentary provided by Dumbledore which could only be loved by true Harry Potter geeks. This title has already enjoyed an expensive getaway from it's library home tucked under his pillow at my expense. Just cheaper if I buy it.

For #2. Who tries his little heart out to be enthusiastic about books solely because it is a pastime he longs to share with #1, but honestly "reading" books (in quotes since he can't actually read as he constantly reminds me in his loudest-screamy-how-many-times-do-I-have-to-say-this-woman voice: "Remember, Mom. I CAN'T READ!"), is really just not his bag. But, as it's my mission to uncover each child's inner book lover, here is his list.

-How Do Dinosaurs Say I Love You. He likes comedy, and he likes dinosaurs so seeing dinosaurs doing unlikely things is the best of both worlds. Plus, he really enjoyed other titles in this series, and since repetition is the key to a preschooler's heart, I'm think this will work.

-I Really Absolutely Must Have Glasses. This is perfect for him because he has recently become obsessed with knowing the exact time and date that he will be getting glasses (and braces). Here I am trying to save my lunch money to get Lasix and he's convinced glasses are where it's at.

For #3. He's my most discriminating "reader" since he'll only look at one type of books. The rest are more likely to be used as step stools, chairs, or weapons of mass destruction.

That's Not My (Monkey, Tractor, Pirate, etc). He obviously can't read, but he knows that I can so he brings me his That's Not My Lion (dog, or dragon) every single night to be read aloud to him while he feels each little part of it like it's the very first time. Other books just don't seem to do it for him, but he really likes these, so why not expand our repertoire a bit, just so I don't go insane looking for the dragon!

See, I'm not quite as dumb as I look, at least not when it comes to books.

But, I am still looking for suggestions, so if you have a children's book to recommend I'd love to hear it. Or, if you'd like a good recommendation for a middle schooler (since that's really my area of expertise) feel free to leave it in the comments and I'll do some research (a little, not a lot) for you!


Don't forget to enter your little munchkin in the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Costume Contest by clicking here.

Saturday Swag-urday: Destination X-mas

Before I get all engrossed in this post, let me announce the winner of the spooky rodents Zhu Zhu Pet: It's Keyona from The New Norm.

Go on over and congratulate her! And, before you get all bent outta shape, it wasn't the sucking up she did in her comment(okay maybe that helped just a little bit), she won fair and square by being picked by my unautomated, manual picking machine known commonly as #2.

Did you know that there are currently only 89 days left until Christmas?!

I know, you don't stat freakin' out until the countdown hits the single digit mark.

But, this year, if you listen to me like a good little blog follower, you don't have to be that person. You know the one, rushing through Toys R Us, clothes disheveled, sweaty brow, with the cart full of kids while you scream across the store to your husband in mommy-daddy code about which gifts he should (or shouldn't) be sneaky up to the register to buy.

Seriously, you see how things turned out for Kate, don't be her.

And here is the next installment of PBD's Ultimate Bomb Diggity Gift Giving Guide of 2009 to help you in your quest to not "pull a Kate" (for lack of a better expression).

This is me thinking outside the box people, so bare with me, I like my box and I'm not used to getting out of it and seeing the world, and, quite frankly, neither are my need-a-leash-to-stop-the-madness children.

We have only just recently begun to increase our time outta the box.

We still haven't fully mastered #3 in public (you know, without the cage and chains we keep him in at home), but we're getting better.

But, for those events that aren't particularly appropriate for monkeys (or children who act like them), we are able to abandon him, I mean leave him with Hubby, for longer periods. Now that he's fully independent of the boob, he's unlikely to blow out a diaper, and he can communicate without screaming (although, he keeps this option available for emergencies, which generally includes anything that has to do with food), Hubby is more confident in his child handling skills which allows me the opportunity to take the older, slightly more civilized members of the fam on excursions.

With this in mind, I've decided to give the gift of fun for Christmas this year.

Gifting someone fun is an exciting idea because:

a) It's easy. When you give the gift of fun, which can come in the form of tickets to The Backyardigans (which I gave #2 last year), or Disney on Ice (which I'm considering for this year) all you need to do is load up the World Wide Web, click on over to Ticketmaster...



and boom! There you have it, ridiculously overpriced tickets to fun!

Sent, via USPS, or available for pick up at Will Call. Can't get much easier than that.

b) It's special. My kids really look forward to their special event days. Possibly that's because they are so starved for attention that they crave this one on one time like Whitney Houston craves crack. Or, used to, because (despite what you may have seen on the Oprah show), apparently she's clean.

When I invest in the gift of fun, I usually select an event that is specific to the interests of that particular child. Then I make a huge production outta taking just that one child to his designed-with-him-in-mind event (you know, since it could be at least 8 to 12 months before I address him by name or make eye contact with him again, not because I don't want to, just for lack of time) and the others get left behind to eat veggies, have baths (which is like punishment around here), clean their rooms, and go to bed early.

This strategy serves two purposes as well (quite the multitasker aren't I?). One, it allows me to save money, because these effing shows are e-x-p-e-n-s-i-v-e. You would think I was taking them to see someone amazing like Taylor Swift, who is not nearly as awesome as Beyonce (did I get that straight, Kanye?), but still, she's like a top shelf performer, and, apparently, the friggin' Backyardigans are right up there with her.

And, two it makes the gift of fun that much more awesome. Excluding the perpetual kidtourage (kid-entourage) from the event is a gift in itself. This is especially true for #1 because I'm sure having #2 as a brother is akin to having a Siamese, I mean conjoined (that's the correct word, right?) twin, as he spends all of his time up his a**.

Let the kid breathe already!

c) It's a selfish gift, which makes it even more awesome. If you play your cards right you too can benefit from the gift of fun. You can select something, like Walking with Dinosaurs or a live production of The Lion King, that you may find enjoyable also. Or, you can purposefully choose something in a relatively dark venue that you have no interest in experiencing (like a trip to the Planetarium for a presentation about the crap hole that is space) so that you can nap during it. Either way, both of you have a blast.

So, take a few minutes and explore some of the following options for giving the gift of fun.

And, remember, fun doesn't have to break the bank, all it has to do is be, um, you know, fun!

PBD Approved List of Things Kids Think are Fun.

1. Movie Tickets (my dudes LOVE this gift and so do I b/c it's almost cheap enough to be considered affordable; almost). You can plan to see any of these upcoming possible blockbusters set to release during or after the holidays. Even though A Christmas Carol drops November 6th, I'm sure they will keep this one around through the holiday season. Avatar comes out a week before Christmas, so it'll still be playing after Santa does his thing. Christmas Day you can plan for the second installment of Alvin and the Chipmunks (give you something to get your mind off all the cash you blew on the toy they already effing broke?!). And then, in 2010 you can look forward to Alice in Wonderland (although it may not be for kids with the likes of Tim Burton and Mr. Fine himself, Johnny Depp, involved). Feel free to sleep through Avatar, but I wouldn't miss A Christmas Carol, Jim Carey is too funny!

2. Museum/Zoo/Aquarium Tickets. You all know how much we love fun, educational venues around here. Every city has them, and if you don't live near a city, well, then maybe you just shouldn't pick this one.

3. The farm. This is just for those people who don't live anywhere near a city. However, I guess that means you already live on or very near a farm which would make this one very anticlimactic. Whatever. Go for the movie tickets, every place is kinda close to a movie theater, right? Please tell me I'm right?!

4. A theatrical production. I'm using the term theatrical loosely here to include anything performed on a stage that includes music, dancing, and/or plushy-mascoty-type characters (think Disney on Ice, the Wiggles, and other "performing artists" that are made to be almost repugnant to adults yet annoyingly addictive to children).

5. A theme park. Unless the theme is Disney or chocolate (remember my trip to Hershey Park? I can still smell the sweet goodness.), I try to avoid these places at all costs. They're filled to brimming with sneaky teenagers, they require more walking in one day than I'm generally comfortable with, and #1 tempts the barf gods every time he mounts a ride. But, kids seem to get all giddy with excitement when presented with an opportunity to experience one of these happy places, so they make the list (for you, not for me).

In summary: Give the gift of fun this Christmas, it'll make you a hero!

Saturday Swag-urday

Is back on the scene, crispy and clean.

Can anyone name the song those lyrics are from? Anyone? Anyone?

First person to guess wins, I don't know, something!

Anyway.

Moving right along.

I've decided to start my Christmas shopping.

I know, it's like technically still summer (although 'round these parts it really hasn't been feeling like it).

But, I walked into Michael's the other day and they had all their holly holiday stuff twinkling all over the place already.

IT'S NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN YET!

So, I figured it's safe for me to start reviewing (and giving away!) toys for the holiday season.

But, seriously, don't feel obligated to use my suggestions as X-mas gifts.

By all means, do whatever you like with them.

Just do me one favor.

It's bound to happen that someone will say, "Wow, what an awesome gift idea!". And when they do, be sure to say, "Why thank you. I got the idea from this amazingly intelligent, beyond cool website, run by this super trendy soon to be famous blogger called PBD."

No sweat off your back and it's like the least you could do, right? I mean, I've done all of the hard work to locate and/or review all of the biggest hits on your gift giving list, the least you could do is tell all your peeps about me.

Just sayin'.

So to jump off PBD's Ultimate Bomb Diggity Gift Giving Guide of 2009, let's start with something sure to get your little people's creative juices flowing.

Melissa and Doug hand puppets.

We got ours courtesy* of allchildrensfurniture.com, a member of the CSN family of stores.

They kindly sent the dudes three hand puppets: a knight (which they named Sir Fight Man), a King (named King of the Land), and a princess (affectionately named The Gril, not a typo, that's just how #2 says it).

We set up our homemade puppet theater (which is just some PVC piping fitted together, with fabric fahsioned into makeshift curtains, in front of their handy-dandy-mostly-empty-cause-the-toys-are-on-the-floor toy box. Low budget=high fun!), they made up their story line, and off they went.



See? Three hand puppets and you too can have a theatrical masterpiece like "Knights, Blood, and Mind Control" (but you have to call it something else or #2 is going to sue you for copyright infringement, or punch you in the gut, whichever one is most effective).

King: #2
Knight: #1
Princess: #2
Villain (played by a non puppet): #2

Sound effects: #3
Set design: Dumb Mom
Writter: #1
Director: #2

They had so much fun coming up with their story line and building their set.

They didn't even care that the only audience member (#3) talked through the entire production, threw things at them, and streaked naked across their stage. Twice.

I've definitely been surprised at how much they have enjoyed these.

I honestly didn't know they could work together long enough to do something like this, but they did and it was pretty good (when they weren't laughing hysterically at themselves).

We had a blast. A TV-Gamecube-DS-free-good-old-fashioned blast.

Not really into puppets? Feel free to pop on over to allchildrensfurniture.com and check out all of the other toys and games (not to mention furniture and room decor) they offer. I spent hours (literally) going through all of their options before I settled on the puppets. Possibly that's because I'm an indecisive worry wart, but it could really just be because they have so much to chose from. YOu'll have to check them out to see for yourself!


*In case you were wondering, "courtesy" means free as it is used in this case!

Saturday Swag-urday: Diaper Duty, The Finale

I know, all of you skeptics out there are probably surprised to discover that PBD is still sheathing #3 in the cloth diapers, but, HAHA!, we are!

I still count myself among the fans of the cloth, despite the fact that I have to rinse them in a bucket every day and wash them all by their lonesome in the washing machine each night (admittedly, this part really does suck).

As annoyingly time consuming and sucktastic is this sounds, I'm thinking it's worth it.

We were spending about $50 per month (one huge box of Huggies from Costco for $39 and one small bag of Luvs from Target for $8) on diapers pre-cloth.

Now, we spend approximately $16 per month on disposable diapers (plus another $14 for the G-diaper inserts). We have not purchased any additional cloth ones either (we have 4 regular cloth diapers and two G-diapers in our arsenal).

So, basically, we are saving about $30 a month on diapering (and if you're a stickler go ahead and add in a couple of bucks for running the washing machine a little more, although I honestly haven't seen an increase in the water and/or electricity bills, but we did get new windows so...).

I feel like $20 a month is worth the extra little hassle the cloth diapers cause me. Because, twenty bucks a month adds up to about (I'm no math whiz)$240 dollars a year?

Do you know what I can buy with $240 a year?

Let me tell you:

I could buy this hot little number:



And, I could wear these with it:



And, I could pay for my entry to SITScation so that I'd have someplace fancy to wear my new gear to (although I'd have to save diaper money for like three years to pay for all these things, so I'm thinking I might just potty train him soon to move the whole process along).

But, until I do, I'm gonna keep shoving his booty into the cloth because, if nothing else the things are environmentally friendly, work wonders on his sensitive nether regions, and they are also pretty easy on the eyes.

Still not convinced?

Let me introduce you to Bum Genius.

I know you've probably already met these little heroes, since they are some of the most popular cloth diapers on the market, so I'll keep it short.

Best part about the Bum Genius all-in-one cloth diaper is the stretchy Velcro tabs that make diapering quick and easy for you, and comfortable for baby.

They go on just as easily as the disposables you are used to. They are waterproof on the outside, and they are fitted with an absorbent microfiber core that soaks up all the nasty, leaving baby feeling dry, even if he sleeps in them during the night.

And, they are CA-UTE too!

See...




I try to make sure this one is clean every morning because I like him to have it available during the day.

But, if full on cloth is not your thing, you may be interested in a hybrid that has the environmental friendliness of a cloth diaper without all of the rinsing-soaking-washing-drying-repeat work of them.

Is there such a miracle in this world?

Um, yeah, actually, there is: gDiapers.

Personally, I like this one the most (you know, 'cause I'm sorta lazy) as it allows for the quickest changes, just pop out inner liner, throw the disposable insert away (or flush it even, gasp!), snap in another liner and insert, and off you go.

Easy peasey that's fo' sheezy.

I'm not sure what the g in gDiapers stands for, but if I had to guess, I'd say it stands for gangster because these diapers kick all the other diaper's a**es!

Only draw back to the gDiaper is that you have to buy replacement inserts which are as expensive as regular disposables.

We just try to alternate among the three; we use the disposables when we're out, we use the regular cloth for most of the day, and I use the gDiapers when I think he's about to drop a deucer (barring his mud butt flare ups, the kid is extremely predictable so it's not really rocket science; he eats, he craps, end of story).

And, in the interest of keeping baby high fashion, I would definitely recommend the gDiapers as they are, in my opinion, the pinnacle of cloth diapering couture: simple, sexy, chic (this description worked better when I thought chic started with an S).

Whatever, they're cute!



Or, maybe it's just the model:)!

Want to know what the smart moms say about Bum Genius and gDiapers? Try here for BG. And, here for gD (had no idea they came in black! See, told you, chic!).

And, last thing, for reals this time.

The winner of last week's uPrinting custom greeting card giveaway is (drum roll, bdrrrrrrrrrr.....): Clueless Mama, from Guessing All The Way!

Woohoo! Go Clueless Mama, it's your birthday, it's your birthday!

Too much enthusiasm for some greeting cards?

Yeah, thought so. You won't be saying that when I'm giving away an iPod or a Flip Video camera (one day, so you better stick around!).



Disclaimer: The diapers were free. But, in the interest of being all up front and honest, I should tell you that I won the gDiapers in a giveaway from another awesome blogging mama. Not sure if this changes your opinion or not, but you you should know, how acquired them had no affect on mine:)!

Saturday Swag-urday: Diaper Duty, Part Deux

Or, is it Part Dooce (cracking myself up!)

More about cloth diapering.

If you're not into that sorta thing (totally understand b/c up until about 6 weeks ago I wasn't either. I have to say, though, the guilt about not cloth diapering #1 and #2 is eating at me a bit. Don't worry, I'll get over it), skip down to the bottom for some interesting info, more giveaways (hosted by others), and some upcoming events for Dumb Mom!

Last week was all about Fuzzi Bunz.

This week is all about Etsy, and the mind-blowingly-pumped-full-of-creative-juices-handy-with-their-hands independent sellers you can find there.

I found tons of cloth diaper options there.

Including, these fancy pants for grown ups, if you're in the market for something like that (and no offense if you are, but seriously, this Etsy seller makes some f-r-e-a-k-y stuff. FREAKY!).

But, for our less freaky, more mainstream behavior, purposes, I was most excited about this seller Graham Bear Wear.

Nancie, from Graham Bear Wear was more than happy to send #3 a handmade, custom (she asked for his measurements!) fit diaper to try out.

Cutest. Thing. Ever!




See, would I lie to you?

It works very differently than all of the large company brands I tried.

Instead of inserting a liner between the inner fabric and the outer cover of the diaper, Graham Bear Wear's inserts are snap in. And, they are double absorbent because there is not just one, but two layers of cloth to soak through!

For the most part, I loved these diapers. They are so well made: durable, absorbent, colorfast, and suffer little (if any, I didn't notice) shrinkage after washing. Plus, the design (cleverly called Sew Sushi) was so stinkin' cute.

Only complaints I have about this product is that the outer cover isn't water proof (didn't matter much, though b/c the inner liners are SO absorbent), and the fact that they were snap on made them a little too easy for baby Houdini to escape from. I discovered him butt naked in his crib more times than I'd like.

Overall, they were awesome, though and I would totally recommend them for the price as well (@ $20 they are competitively priced to many other similarly designed products and buying from Etsy allows you to support an independent, woman owned business, double yeah!)

Still more cloth diaper reviews to come, but, guess I'll get into those next week!

Want more tips on choosing a cloth diaper for your little one? Try here, more committed cloth diapering mommas are also more informed cloth diapering mommas.

Want to know what PBD is up to next?
I've recently discovered an exciting new opportunity that many of you might be interested in trying if you like to go to events. It's called
EventChaser. They give you NFL tickets to all kinds of sporting events, concerts, theater productions, and fun stuff. For example, they got me Washington Redskins tickets for Hubby's birthday. But shhhh, don't tell him, it's a surprise!

You can save too:
Remember my trip to the WNBA game? Want to take your family? They have teams in major cities across the US, and they are offering blog readers a huge discount on tickets for the remainder of the season! Click here for more info and/or to buy discounted tickets so you can whoop it up at a game like us.

And, what about kids furniture? I found a super cool store I'm going to be reviewing products from soon called All Children's Furniture.com. They are having some amazing sales right now on neat things for kids' rooms, like this Small Paul stool set (by the way, we LOVE Small Paul stuff).

See?



Or, even better, you could win!:

If you're a photog like myself, try this Solo Photo Contest. You could win a $100 gift card.

Or, so you think you can sing? Put your money where your mouth is and enter this Loud Karaoke contest with your family. Some of the videos are kinda funny. I'll be sure to share mine when we enter it!

Saturday Swag-urday

It's Saturday again peeps and I have a sweet little down home (she's from the South) stationary company to share with you all.

Duck Duck Goose Designs is owned and operated by Wendy, a mom to four little ones under the age of 5!

Not sure how she finds time to create such gorgeous stuff, but she does it, and they are so stinking cute!

You know I'm a sucker for some cute stationary and she has so many original designs, like this one that she sent to me to try out.



Cute, right. And, in case you are that stalker that's been lurking around here creeping everybody out, my name is not Jessica Hinton, it's just an alias to throw you and all your crazy friends off my trail. Brilliant (rubs hands together all sinister like).

And, she doesn't just make cards. She makes stickers, and bag tags, and t-shirts, and all kinds of other totally perfect stuff that can be personalized (or not) for you if you like.

Wanna win a set of 10 persoanlized cards like this one for yourself?

Of course you do, silly, because free stuff is awesome.

All you have to do is head over to Wendy's Etsy shop, hang out there for a bit, check out all of her awesomeness (don't steal anything!), and then come back here and tell me which design you would like if you could choose any one you wanted.

Contest starts now and runs until midnight on Friday July, 31st.

The winner will be announced on my next Saturday Swag-urday post.

So hurry up and enter already so you can start sending out handwritten thank you cards to all those people in your life that truly deserve them!

If you want to increase your chances of winning just:
1. Follow me here(b/c you totally love me, right? You do, don't you? Huh? Huh? Don't you love me?!). 1 extra entry

2. Follow me on Twitter @thenagainphoto (b/c you totally love me, and you can't get enough of me!). 2 extra entries

3. Tweet about this giveaway (b/c you totally love me, and you want the world to know about me too!). 3 extra entries (1 tweet per person/per day and make sure you Tweet it to @thenagainphoto so I will be able to find it!)

Thanks for looking and feel free to add your own giveaways, contests, and reviews to the Mr. Linky thingy!



PS: Want to order from Duck Duck Goose? Wendy has offered PBD readers a 10% off coupon! Just enter "dumbmom" as your coupon code when you check out to take advantage of this special offer!

Saturday is Swag-urday!

My kids are groupies.

They all are easily swayed by creative (actually doesn't really need to be that creative), child centered, loud mouthed, repetitive advertising.

If you shout it at them, put it to a catchy tune, say it a billion times, or dress it up in a jazzy costume, they will want it.

Doesn't matter what it is, strange, body contorting workout equipment, fancy do-everything kitchen utensils, magical flying toys, present it correctly, and you've got my dudes as lifelong groupies.

Our experience with Wat-Ahh! was no different.

When Ms. Cameron's big brown box landed on our doorstep last week it marked the beginning of a lovely relationship between her product and my children.

First, let me start by saying that Wat-Ahh! looks, smells, tastes and acts (almost) exactly like water. No artificial flavorings or coloring or anything. It's just water (and some added vitamins in some).

My dudes already have an odd love affair with the stuff (possibly because they enjoy getting it from the refrigerator's in door dispenser) so getting them to choose water over juice or soda (which they are not allowed anyway) or even milk is really not hard.

But, even though they already love water, they were initially a little disappointed, and flabbergasted, to receive a box of water. (We don't drink bottled water, ever. #2 refuses to drink "sink water" as well. We drink filtered water from our fridge.)

"Why would someone send us water," they asked?

"We can get water from the fridge," they explained.

"Is it safe, 'cause you know bottled water isn't safe, I saw it on the news. Is this the same kind as that, 'cause if it is I'm not gonna drink it," #1 (the safety inspector) informed me.

"Are you sure it's only water," the anticipation was killing #2.

So, 30 seconds after bringing box 'o Wat-aah in the house it was being ripped open and tried.

They were mildly disappointed to confirm their suspicions (that someone sent them water), but they were also thrilled by the sight of the bottles.

Wat-Ahh! comes in these skinnier bottles (easier for little hands to hold) featuring a big mouthed, screaming boy on the label. For whatever reason they loved this and spent the next few moments imitating big-mouthed-screaming-logo-boy by making silent screaming faces while they drank their water.

See. Groupies.

Doesn't matter in the least that they already like to drink water, or that what they are drinking from the fancy schmansy bottles is the exact same thing they can get right outta the fridge (except for the fact that some Wat-Ahh! is infused with some elements to enhance your bones, or increase your energy or brain power, but you can't taste it).

They like the packaging, so they like the product. (Pretty sure that was Wat-Ahh! lady's primary goal (to make more visually pleasing products to get kids interested in choosing water), so way to go Wat-Ahh! lady!)

They asked me for more Wat-Ahh! later when we left for the park, and again when we got back.

And, when I informed them it was all gone they gave a heartfelt, "Ah, Man," and got a cup from the fridge.

So, looks like Wat-Ahh! was quite a hit @ Casa de Dummies.

And, wanna know who else loves Wat-Ahh!?

Katie Couric! And, anything a celebrity likes is at least worth looking into, right?!

Have your own set of water lovin' (or hatin') groupies at home? Check out Wat-Ahh; might do the trick!

Tell 'em Dumb Mom (and Katie Couric) sent ya:)


*This will be a recurring series @PBD so look out for it every Saturday as a way to promote (and sometimes even giveaway. Gasp!) some of the items that have generously been (or not, since most of the stuff I buy anyway!) shared with me and my fam. And, I think I'll add a little Mr. Linky to help you all share fabulous finds and giveaways here, too. All I ask is that you leave a comment here or link back to PBD there. Totally don't have to, but, you know, I'd so love it.



PS: You have to click the link to see them, in case you were wondering where they all are (like I was)!