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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Saturday Swag-urday: So Dang Smart

Loads of people are smarter than me.

Don't try to argue, I'm fine with it and I have other qualities that I like to focus on.

For example, I'm funny.

Maybe not Tina Fey funny or Sarah Silverman funny, but I'm at least like Queen Latifah funny.

You know, not stand up comedian material, but I can pull off a good joke or a three minute comedic sequence from time to time with no problem.

So, yeah, I'm good with the whole not-the-smartest-mom-on-the-block label.

Being the funny-lady-with-the-three-boys is way easier to live up to, you know because people don't expect much (like they never suspect that I'm gonna blog the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta their ignorotic (ignorant and idiotic combined expertly to express my point) selves when I get home!)

But, I get really peeved when toys outsmart me.

I wrote two whole posts (that all of ten people read; now's your chance, though! Post 1 & Post 2) dedicated entirely to being outwitted, outsmarted, and outlasted by super intelligent super toys.

But, I've decided to take a new approach to big brain toys.

Instead of shunning them, avoiding them, and letting their batteries run out, I'm going to embrace the fact that they probably scored higher than me on the college entrance exam, invite them into my home, and encourage them to go to work on my kids.

You know, so I don't have to.

Here are some that could be getting special invites this Christmas season:

Mindflex, because some toys are so friggin' smart, they are scary, and sometimes scary is fun (unless it's outer space scary and then it's so not fun). This toy is so smart I honestly can't even figure it out, so watch the video and then proceed with caution. #2 is obsessed with mind control so he thinks this toy would be an amazing addition to his mind controlling arsenal. I personally don't think he can concentrate on anything (other than torturing his brother) long enough to get results, but if Santa has anything to say about it, we may just see a huge leap in #2's mindcontrolability. Shoot me now.

Eco-Friendly Cookware and Dining Set, because being green is always smart*. And, in this case it's fun, too. #3 is my resident foodie and he loves cooking in his kitchen. He has already developed the stereotypical this-is-my-grill-so-check-yo-self-before-you-wreck-yo-self dude-tude. He's not to be disturbed when he's in "the zone", and if you (or more specifically, his brothers) dare to creep a finger into his "creative space", be prepared to lose it. So, he's been in the market for some new cookware for quite some time and Oompa was nice enough to send him this set of environmentally smart dishes as the are not only cute and functional, but they are safe too.

Safe for food (you can really eat off of them and microwave them w/o having to worry about icky toxins creeping into your guts), for kids' mouths (they can suck the crap outta them and not be sickened by lead), and for the world (they are made outta recycled milk jugs like all of the toys in the Green Toys line up).

Little Music Lovers, because smart music makes you smarter*.

Or, so they say. I think smart music makes you tired, but that's just me. I'm a huge fan of classical music, sometimes. There's a time and a place for it is all I'm saying. Like, when it's your turn to host mommy group. You put on the classical my-kid's-a-mental-giant music when you want the other mommies to think you actually listen to it and you really have no idea why your kid is singing "Birthday Sex" at the top of his lungs. But, we are not huge fans of this for daily play time (or Birthday Sex really, it just came on the radio and caught his attention with it's sex infused beat, I swear). We like to bring sexy back with JT, or get it started with the Black Eye Peas a lot more than we like to rock with Bach, but that's just us.

$10 toys, because get toys on the cheap makes you feel smart, ,especially when you're spending all the money you saved on a smart new pair of heels, or a smart new handbag for yourself:)!. Check out Walmart and Target for these great deals.

Automoblox, because some smart toys are just fun. These neat little vehicles are completely disassembleable (I know it's not a word, but it fits so deal with it). And, if you're like Casa de Dummies you will have more than one which means the parts are interchangeable too. You do have to be smart enough to keep all of your pieces within eye shot so that they aren't permanently digested by the toy box monster, but other than that these look like the smartest and most fun toy Santa will probably bring this year. Although, I'm thinking the DS and the Razor will also be pretty big hits!

Now, I know I was supposed to announce the winner of the Happily (un)Haunted Photo Contest today, but...since I was busy with this yesterday I haven't had a chance to compose the eloquently written tribute post so please don't hate me for saving it for tomorrow. You understand. And, if you're desperate to know, you can go ahead and tally up all 100 and something comments yourself and end the suspense. I'll be in the bathroom.

*PBD Admits it's Free Disclaimer: Some of the items discussed in this post were given to us to try out for free. We like free stuff a whole bunch, but rest assured that if it sucks we'll tell you, even if it is free.


thatgirlblogs said...

some good ideas there, but I still haven't seen the toy that cleans kids bedrooms. like a kid roomba or something?

Jennifer said...

I don't really like smart toys either. Mostly because then I'm required to play with them or teach the little ones how to use them and I'm way too lazy for that. It takes away from my Facebook time.

Noelle said...

smart toys? oh, you mean like dr. barbie? lol

lululu said...

smart toy or stupid toy, i'm totally in a hate/love relationship.
one thing is, be very honest, i get easily bored to play with it with my boy. and the sad thing is i hv to keep doing it!

DiPaola Momma said...

My toy philosophy.. it should keep em busy.. NOT me.. heck I have enough to do already why the HECK would I PAY for a toy that I then have to figure out?! Yeah give me Mr. Taterhead and I'm cool.. of course not cool enough for your blog roll.. but hey a girl can't have everything. :-)

Anonymous said...

I should hire you to be my personal shopper for the boys' Christmas presents. Evan is easy; Sean is hard.

joanofalltrades said...

I love your wittiness! I might have to check out that Eco-friendly cookware. Thanks for sharing!

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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