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Friday, February 26, 2010

RanDumb (re)View

Oh I just love looking back over the week and sharing all of the ranDumbness* with you guys.

And, this was a busy week.

So let’s jump right in!

This guy brought the mullet back on American Idol…

alambert

#3 is gonna be so happy to hear that he’s not the only one rockin’ a mullet like he means it.

Sadly since the AI Afro wearing rep (aka Tyler Grady) was voted off last night, #2 has little hope of getting his style brought back to trendy.

In Bachelor news, Rozlyn cheating-hussy-extraordinaire made an appearance on the famed Women Tell All episode to look like a complete douche-bag-liar-pants clear her name.

She denied everything, saying that she absolutely did not have an inappropriate relationship with a show producer. And, the fact that they are still seeing each other is really no evidence that she did.

Yeahright.

Not sure why she doesn’t just admit they hooked up because Jake is gay just not her type. I think we’d all understand it and based on her personality we wouldn’t even find it all that surprising.

Honestly, I don’t even care. My opinion is that at least 68% of Bachelor hopefuls are fame seeking tramps. Sometimes they make it pretty far on the show…

shayne vienna wes

Sometimes they don’t.

But really, who even cares? Point is that we have generally low expectations for the moral character of the Bachelor contestants. We expect you to be trashy, conniving, and strategic. That’s why we watch. If all of you were rainbow-pooping-Disney-wannabes like Tenley the show would be pretty boring.

So, be my guest, ho it up Roz, just be honest about it.

Whores I’m fine with.

Liars?

Not so much.

Anyway.

Let’s talk about The View.

I warned you last week that this was gonna be happening and if you didn’t heed those warnings and watch this week so that we could have a meaningful discussion that’s your bad.**

Just shut it and listen.

I’m 100% okay with that, especially because my girl Kerri is here this week to weigh in on the two most controversial guests of the week.

The Octomom and The Situation.

Well, The Situation was accompanied by the entire cast of The Jersey Shore, but personally, I think some of the other characters are, as Simon Cowel likes to say, forgettable.

Not Snooki, of course, but some of the others.

But.

Let me just to remind you how this Blab Fest works, Kerri or I come up with the questions to ask to each other and then we both share our thoughts. You are welcome to get involved if you want (and by get involved I mean LEAVE COMMENTS!).

Let’s start with the baby making monster.

1. Nadya Suleman. Delusional and in denial? She said it, so what do you think?

Dumb Mom: Uh, yeah. Delusional, in denial, and stone cold crazy in a I’m-sorta-doing-this-on-purpose-to-make-people-watch-my-train-wreck-of-a-life-so-I-can-get-PAID way. I can’t even begin to go into detail about what she does/did or what her points were on the show because honestly I can’t get over her attire.

If she is gonna keep up these appearances (although haven’t we all had enough already? This is the longest 15 minutes ever!) she should drop one of her 3 nannies and hire a stylist.

Cause, she looked ridiculous.

I know she’s all proud of her body (bold faced lying when she said she wasn’t trying to get back into a bikini) because it has turned into her money maker, literally. But really, ew?

That’s the best you could do for Whoopi, and Joy, and Sherry, and the other chick?

With black tights no less?!

Shame! Shame!

Shame on you Quattuordecimom (I know Octomom sounds better, but this whole situation is compounded by the six kids she already had so we can’t leave them out) for insulting us by saying you weren’t even trying to get bikini-body and for assaulting us with that hideous dress.

Seriously, disappear already, kay?!

And, in the name of all that is holy, don’t have any more kids!

Kerri: Nadya Suleman- IS COO COO for COCO Puffs!!! This lady needs a psych evaluation PRONTO!!! I hope she’s not being left alone with her children for long periods of time because she looks like one of those moms who’d snap on their kids. And her laugh OMFG – STOP IT PLEASE!!! This interview was extremely entertaining, I mean I laughed the whole dang time she was on the screen but I rolled my eyes SOO many times at her ridiculous claims. She needs to quit lying and saying she didn’t get surgery for her current body. GUUURRRRLLL!!! U a lie cause there’s NO way your skin stretched SOOO much with those 8 babies and you have NO left over skin after giving birth. Please!!! GTFOH! Bottom line, girl, get some mental help cause you’re just sick in the head.

And, for the reality superstars of the moment.

2. Jersey Shore. Love it or hate it?

Dumb Mom: Gotta be honest when I say that I don’t actually watch the show (I know, surprise, there are some raunchy MTV programs I don’t watch), but I have seen it. And I woulda watched it but I kept forgetting to.

Anyway, point is, I don’t see what’s so wrong about it.

I know Joy was all peeved because they aren’t really Italian (which should make her happy actually because do you really want to have to claim them?).

And, I know Whoopi’s beef was that they should be more responsible with their cash or whatever because their 15 minutes will be up soon (which if Octodork is any indication, that’s not entirely true).

But honestly, again, who even cares?

They are smutty acting people filling a spot in entertainment. I don’t care if they grow up to be smart or have good jobs or any of that crap. Call me a selfish loser, but I just don’t care what they do after the show because I’m in it for the joy of watching other people suck.

And yes, watching other people suck is sorta one of my hobbies.

So shoot me. Or punch me in the face next time you see me at the bar.

Whatever.

All I want is a fancy name and then The Jersey Shore people can disappear forever. Or not.

Because if The View chicks get to have them (Whoopi-"The Administration.” Joy-"The Assumption.” Elisabeth-“The Attraction.” Sherri-"The Duplication.”) then I want one too.

They can call me “The Addiction”, because people just can’t get enough of me (insert maniacal Nadya Suleman laugh)!

Point is I don’t love them personally, but I do love that they exist for my trash-TV-viewing pleasure!

Kerry: Honestly these people make me lose brain cells whenever I watch them or hear them speak but for some reason, I CANNOT avoid the train wreck I see coming. I personally think “The Situation” and Snooki are hilarious. Whatever world they’re living in, I wanna be a citizen because their ideals on life is SOOOO twisted. I loved the names “The Situation” gave to the ladies though. Was it me or did Snooki shake her head NO when Joy asked if they were all using condoms? Ahhhh Snooki, Snooki, Snooki – Umm, the camera should’ve zoomed in on her cause that’s just NASTY. If she did indeed say no, that’s a dumb move. Girl, lie dang it, don’t make yourself look worse than you’re already acting.

See all of the crazy excitement you missed this week on The View?

Seriously, watch it.

And, I know you probably don’t have time to watch it in the middle of the day when you are focusing on whether or not your potty training Baby P.I.M.P is droppin’ it like it’s hot in the corner of your living room other stuff, but you can TiVo it, or if you are the last person on the planet to not have TiVo, you could watch it online. Obviously you have Internet access.

So join us for more trash talkin’ fun on next week’s Blab Fest.

*Also joining Mrs. 4444s @ Half Past Kissin' Time for another week of Friday Fragments!

**Forgot to mention last week that I’m getting some free tote bag that I probably won’t even carry for sharing my intellectual insights on The View. Please note that a free bag is not enough to coerce me into saying sweet things about them so when I get fed up with their arguing, or when Elizabeth pisses me off, I’ll tell you. Provided I didn’t fast forward over that part. Now, if they wanted to have me on the show I might be more inclined to beef up my posts with pleasantries, you know ‘cause I only talk crap about people behind their backs and have no intentions of going to blows with Sherry on the air (or off the air for that matter). Unless there was cash involved and then, put your damn dukes up Sherry! I’m a huge fan of using bribery to get what you want.

Wanna share your The View posts for the week? Link away...


17 comments:

4 Lettre Words said...

Crazy 8...oh, I mean "Nadya" is...well, crazy.

Shell said...

Dumbmom on the View, Dumbmom on the View!!!!!

Producers, are you listening????

parentingBYdummies said...

4LW: Word. Glad to see you agree. I'm suspicious of people who don't.

Shell: Awesome. Now if you can forward that request to Babs and her friends, that would be great!

Caution Flag said...

My 10 year old son loves mullets. He actually goes into the salon and asks for a mullet. The stylists always look at us with puzzled expressions. But you know what? He loves them. And we're okay with that.

Maggie S said...

Okay, not a VIEW-er. But Octomom scares me. Or something. I gag a little when I see her.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I so rarely watch The View but when I do, it always leaves me shaking my head!

Hallie :)

CaneWife said...

See? This is why I don't have to watch TV. I have you to supply me with what is surely more entertaining versions of those shows! Excellent and thank you! :)

parentingBYdummies said...

CF: Well then he will also be happy about recent developments in pop culture!

Mags: A lot of people make me gag when I see them and yes, she is on this list as well!

WWW: And, isn't head shaking the determination of what makes a show watchable!

CW: No worries, I watch pretty much every show so I've got you covered:)

Jennifer said...

Octomom is like a scary kind of crazy. Just.... (shaking my head), no words for her.

Unfortunately I'm at work during the day so now daytime TV for me. And I have too much primetime DVR'd to worry about it at night.

Kmama said...

I heard the interview of Octomom on the radio and her laugh CREEPED me out. Was it Joy that told her she had a maniacle laugh? Cuz, yeah, it totally is! LOL

Execumama said...

Her laughter left the most memorable expression on me *sarcasm*!

Seriously though, I can't even figure how she'd have time to even breathe with those many children in her midst. Children are blessings, but they are also beings to whom we are held RESPONSIBLE, and after a certain number, it just get's shady for me.

Michelle Pixie said...

Can I just say Nadya's laugh is the stuff nightmares are made of! That girl is off her rocker and needs to be medicated!

Daenel said...

Your wrap up is hilarious ~ Nadya Suleman drove me insane. You didn't mention her but I think she and Giuliana Rancic on the same mental plane when it comes to kids and motherhood.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

You know, when I was watching the Idol elimination show last night and it was down to mullet-boy of 70's-wannabe, I was kind of hoping mullet-boy would stick around so we can see how long he actually holds onto that mullet. Now we can! :)

Ocotobizarro mom needs to crawl back under her rock.

I SO agree about Rozlyn - she was straight-up lying through that whole 'women tell all' episode! She had so many blatant 'tells' if I could stand her, I'd feel sorry for her...but I can't so I won't! :)

I keep forgetting to check out Jersey Shore, too.

I'd so watch The View if you were on it! It'd be truly interesting then. ;)

Christine said...

I don't watch the View, but I happened to drop by my moms' house when it was on and I was shushed b/c they were watching it when Nadya was on. OMFG it was hysterical. AND her outfit? I agree. Maybe it wouldn't have been so awful if she wouldn't have kept stamping her boots and heehawing. BUT my favorite part? How at the beginning everyone is just sitting and intro-ing and by the end Whoopi was literally on the far edge of the couch and I could tell she was about to crawl over the side and run offstage. HILARIOUS. (I really wish she would have, that would've been priceless!!)
And the part where she said she wasn't ruling out any more children in the future? Scary.

Mrs4444 said...

She's the prettiest liar I've ever seen, but I still can't stand her.

faemom said...

Aren't we done with the Nadya yet? She's insulting us with every lie she makes. Remember her first interview "No, I'm not overwhelmed." BS. Even if it's your second child, you're freakin' overwhelmed. And her body. I'm sorry I had single children and I never got to look that good. Please.

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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