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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Dear Santa, Just Forget It

Officially, there remains less than three weeks until Christmas.

That means, I only have a few more opportunities to ensure that Santa handles his business.

Hubby is taken care of.  Technically.

I mean, I purchased and received the gift via UPS, so technically, he’s taken care of, it’s just that I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m gonna want to hang on to the receipt. 

We have a history.

Mimi, Papa, and Uncle Brother are still not addressed.

I have some ideas.  Sorta.

BFF.  Done!  Something about shopping for her is fun and easy.  Maybe it’s because I just buy something for myself, and give it to her. 

This somewhat faulty technique actually leads to me buying her at least 3 gifts every season, because I usually wind up keeping the first two items.  Huge believer in the buy-a-gift-for-yourself philosophy.

The dudes…

They are a whole other story.

You would think that shopping for a few small children would be easy.

In some ways it is because you  know that they are pretty much gonna like whatever you get them just about enough to play with it for 2 days before it, a) breaks, b)gets lost, or c)gets boring.

But, Hubby and I (aka Mr.. and Mrs.. Claus) like to give them each, at least, one gift they are gonna LOVE.  Like really love, long enough to ensure that neither a, b, or c above happen.

We call it the “Marquee Gift”.

And, we try to do that every year for each of them.

Because, Santa is not really a get-a-gift-you-sorta-kinda-like type of guy.  Santa, is in the business of making wishes come true.

And, this Santa has been pretty good about that.  We have a track record of excellence to uphold.  After previous years featuring such dream makers as the Wii, a scooter, a bouncy horse, a DS, and the like, Santa can’t start slippin’ now!

Not because of the kids, like I said, they are fine with a pack of Bakugan cards and a GI Joe man (but, no shirts!  They have a strong distaste for the receipt of clothing from the big guy because apparently elves are not seamstresses, they are builders, game programmers, and the like.).

But, Dumb Santa, s/he has a personal standard to uphold.  That’s all.

And, this year is tough. 

#2 and #3 are covered.

#2 has distinct wishes that can easily be fulfilled; a DS (like Bruver) and a Razor (you guessed it, like Bruver).  Check and check.

#3 would be happy with a glass of milk, a cookie, a 6 piece nugget meal, 2 packs of fruit snacks, a side of mashed potatoes, and a biscuit, with butter and jam.

Instead of high cholesterol, we think we are gonna get him a horsey, a train, and a car set, because he will like that too.

But #1…he’s tough.

When asked what he’d like for Christmas he answers, “Maybe a new game?  Or a book?  I’m not sure can I tell you later?  When I think of it?”

And, he’s been supplying that same answer to every person who asks since November.

He even passed up an opportunity to speak to Santa (I mean, one of Santa’s right hand dudes who visit various retail locations in Santa’s stead since the big guy is super busy prepping for Operation Hook Up the Nice Kids. Hey!  Had to tell them something to explain the stupid red headed Santa they had at the mall last year!)saying, “I don’t  know what to tell him yet!”

Really?  Because it’s December already and Santa sorta needs to know if you expect the Elves to get it together.  I mean, labor laws will  not allow him to work those people all night at the last minute just because some kids can’t bother to throw Santa a frickin’ bone before Dec. 24th!

So…in an effort to get him to focus, I forced him to write his letter to Santa, after we did this cool craft inspired by Buckeroomama from Mamahood, Among Other Things.  I changed them slightly, but hers are still way, Way, WAY, better.

I mean, by now, you know I’m not a hugely crafty person (read: have two hands and ten thumbs), but I figured it’s a holiday…let the poor children have some creative fun.

Only guess what!  They still hate doing crafts as much as they did the last time I forced offered them one.

Half way through they were complaining and ready to go back to playing “guys” (aka action-figures-fight-and-try-to-annihilate-each-other-with-booby-traps-weapons-and-mind-control).

But, I fake cried to get them to stick with it (they aren’t the first males to fall for that trick!) so, here you have it…The Official Dumb Family Christmas Craft…

santa card

And, the letter on the inside…

santa card inside

Absolutely no help for me, I mean Santa. 

I guess someone will be getting a book and a Wii game.


Lucky for me, my boy is super easy to please and will love his gift, and me, and even Chubby Cheeks regardless of what it is.

And, with our extra money not spent on buying things meant to make Mommy feel better for sucking during the year extra gifts, we’ve decided to do this instead: Oxfam America Unwrapped.

Still deciding if we are gonna go with the poop (he thought this was funny), the books (he obviously loves to read), or the worms (because are there people who DON’T love worms?).

I’ll let you know when we decide!



Anonymous said... oldest son was & still is the same way. He never has much on his list and it's like pulling teeth to get him to give some ideas.
But he really loves anything he receives...he's just sweet like that:)

I love the note to Santa...I was LOL'ing.

And my BFF is super easy to buy for...I do the same exact thing, just buy something I'd like and viola! it's perfect:) Two peas in a pod.

I'm off to figure out how to vote...I clicky-clicked on the button, but it took me to a main I have to work for it...LMAO. No worries, I like a challenge:)

AND...I'm going to check out the photo contest!
I'm here from SITS & wishing you a Happy Saturday!!

Shannon said...

What a fabulous little letter to Santa! I think my kids are doing this TODAY! Although... they have already stated loud and clear that they want a DS, I just think it's good practice, especially for my lil 1st grader to write letters! I think we moms always strive for the perfect Christmas when many kids really just are happy with any and every gift they receive! Hope you are having a great time preparing for the perfect day!

singedwingangel said...

Lol my kids are the exact opposite. they are making lists in OCtober, including the 17 yr old who knows the truth but still plays along for the 10 yr old..

Miss Dot said...

OK I know this sounds kinda sad but when I first read that #2 wanted a Razor (like bruver), I missed the capitalization on the "Razor" and thought you meant like a shaving razor. I totally did a double-take and I was like "Whoa, #1 SHAVES??" *facepalm*

Woooo!! I love that gift-giving idea at the bottom! Manure, here we come! Can they put a bow on top?

SupahMommy said...

I'm like 10 seconds behind you on the gift giving.

I suck.

and the cry tears craft

son.. what's your favorite memory of our holidays spent together?

when i used to make u cry tears of sadness for making us make those dumb crafts.

how do you do it with 3? it DOES get easier right? cuz.. i m lucky i have a tree up let alone santa letter... i'm goinna throw a magazine at them and some knives ( cuz i have no kid scissors) and tell htem to go to town making a pictorial collage of their 'wants and needs." I think ill throw in some fruit snacks to make them STICK.. cuz i have no glue.


Working Mommy said...

Thankfully the babe is only 5 months she won't remember any of these gifts this Christmas!! So this year it is all about buying things to make me happy :)


LucyCooper said...

Ugh, crafts. My perfectionist ways collide with my six year-old's need to use the materials in a way that was not intended, and make his own BETTER project, which ends up as an effing mess, and then we're both disgruntled. Bah humbug to crafts.
The marquee gift- I am totally stealing that. It sounds better than One Big Gift and then Just Some Little Fun Stuff.
Love the Christmas picture- beautiful children.

Maricris Zen Mama said...

I'm impressed that your halfway done with your Christmas gift shopping. And yeah if ur hubby is like me, you might just want to seriously hold on to the receipt! LOL

Tanya said...

This is Tee following from MBC!

You can follow me here:

and here:

Anonymous said...

Evan and Sean want everything. So I'm trying to pin it down to what they really want. Sean keeps eyeing pirate ships, and I just bought Evan a sleeping bag because he keeps talking about sleeping over at other people's houses. Which sounds great to me.
Great craft. I really need to get on this craft thing for the holifays.

blueviolet said...

Good job forcing the craft out of them!!! You rock!

Jennifer said...

I wrote a post just the other day about being bummed about THE gift for Baby Girl. I hope next year is easier.

And I don't have to beg for the craft thing. She would do them all day if I let her. I'm just not into the mess.

Buckeroomama said...

The felt hat on Santa looked really nice! Thanks for the link back. :)

We know what we want to get the kids for Christmas, we just haven't gotten around to buying it and getting it home yet. Maybe this weekend... hmmm.

Beth said...

Lol, the joy of boys!

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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