Make New ifriends Monday, I mean Tuesday?

I know, you're dying inside, but no Bachelor stuff today because yesterday, was a busy one and I couldn't feature this awesome nagging-begging-shameless blogger I have been forced grown to adore.

Please get to know my newest ifriend, Working Mommy (aka Lessons Learned) with a poem:

Roses are red, The Saints gold and black,
her man I bet has one aching back.

Long story short, football's her game,
which is cool even though I don't feel the same.

On other stuff we are much more a like,
For example, I bet she'd use the word sike.

And she's cool, and she's funny, kinda sorta like me,
but for proof you are gonna just have to go see.

She hides her face like I hide my name,
so that is another way we are the same.

She does have a job of the cash earning kind,
but don't hold that against her, her's blog's a great find!

Do I ever steer you wrong?

Check her out now ('cause I'm guest posting over there too!), but not before you find a Fugly Face Photo of yourself to enter in my contest so that you can take home the title. Being named Blog Dawg of the year is nothing to play around with. Opportunity of a lifetime people. A. LIFETIME!

A Guest Post from Working Mommy aka Lessons Learned aka That Chick Who Emails me A lot

Back in December, Dumb Mom and I exchanged a few emails. She is a blogger - I am a blogger. She has a group of fabulous bloggy followers - I have a group of fabulous bloggy followers. She is a wonderful mother to her beautiful boys - I am a slacker wonderful mother to my beautiful daughter. We pretty much came to the conclusion that we are the most kick-ass, bright-rainbow eating, sparkle-star pooping, booty-shaking women in all the land!!

Alright, alright...it didn't QUITE go as described. I pretty much sent her an emailing begging asking if I could feature her one Tuesday in my little piece of blog-topia. Not only that, but I also offered to off someone expressed interest in being featured on her blog-diggity. After a little bit of suggestive winking arm twisting butt kicking pleading my case, Dumb Mom agreed - horray!!

Then the panic set in...well, hell...I got the clutch spot...now what am I going to write about?!?! Crap!! So, I posed the question to Dumb Mom - what could I possibly write that your followers would think is interesting?? Her response was the most fabulous thing I've ever heard!!

"How about your awesomeness...that would be great! Actually, I really don't have any sort of ramifications about posting, just tell us what you're all about so that we know what we're getting into before we come by your blog. You know, if you worship Satan or live in a nudist colony, stuff like that so we are surprised."

I think she really meant to say "aren't" surprised...but we'll let that one slide, since I'm sure she was dealing her boys punching fighting sitting calmly with each other watching an educational show. Talk about me you say??? I can do THAT!!!

*******
Hi, my name is Working Mommy and I am blog addict.

All: Hi Working Mommy

When I'm not stalking and commenting, which is pretty much all of the time, I can be found in my own little blogtopia...writing and causing a fuss! I even have a cute butt-on to prove it!!!

http://workingmommyof1.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" title="Lessons Learned">http://i902.photobucket.com/albums/ac224/neuffj/Completed%20Desgnz/Button-2.gif" />

There is plenty to say about me...but THE most important items for you to remember are that Sunday (1/31) was my one year anniversary with the man AND that this Saturday (2/6) is muh birfday!!!

(short pause for booty-shaking and shot-taking)

So, I started blogging back in October...I know, it wasn't all that long ago but I've come a long way since then! There are a few posts from back when I began that I think are quite funny...but no one has commented on them. I didn't have followers back then so no love was going around. Maybe sharing them with you today will get a few comments to feed my desire to be wanted addiction.


We don't live in a nudist colony or anything, but the man (hubs) and I did meet

online...praise be to match.com...seriously!! While the internet did bring me my hubs...it also ushered in a new fear of the internet - and the men who use it. After going on quite a few dates, I realized the reason why some of these men were still 35+ and single...and it was hard for me not to look at them and say that no amount of online dating would ever change that. They just weren't stable, damnit.

Not even 2 months into our relationship, the man and I found out we were pregnant - YAY!! We actually found out on his birthday...lucky guy! Since the babe is our first, I had no idea what would be ahead for us. I soon found out that being pregnant is a pre-existing condition...did you know that?? You didn't?? I didn't either until I heard from my insurance company!! Do you ever wonder how stupid people made it through to adulthood?? I do...every. single. day!

In regards to religion, I am actually about as far away from worshiping Satan as one could get. The only thing more stressful than figuring out how to pay for our shot-gun wedding was dealing with the babe's Baptism. Thankfully, when we start having other wee ones - whenever THAT will be - I will know what I'm doing when it comes to religious ceremonies...all I have to do is find friends with morals. Any takers?!?!

Last, but certainly not least, I will leave you with a story that shows just how much I don't care about what other people think. I think I got my ability to speak my mind from my father. The fact that I do it in public, that comes from my mother. Together they created the greatness which is me!! So, I do hope you'll come by and visit me...maybe enter agiveaway or two...hell, you can even guest post if you want to!! See you all in my little piece of blogtopia soon!!!

Make New (i)friends Monday: Miss Dot

Roses are red,
chocolate is brown.

Here come the cupcakes,
I'm about to throw down!

She's Miss Dot if you're nasty,
she's Miss Dot if you're clean.

If you mess with her cupcakes,
I'm gonna be mean.

'Cause those things look awesome,
As awesome can be!

Just check her out now,
If you want to see:)

Thanks Miss Dot for hookin' us up with an awesome guest post for today. I wish I could say her cakes taste as good as they look, but alas, I've not had the pleasure of trying them yet. Maybe (hint-hint) I'll get one (or 12) for Christmas!

Meet, the one, the only, never duplicated, poorly imitated Missssss Doooooot...

HELLO!

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am

{[•MISS DOT•]}

Jill of all Trades - Master of None, Cupcaker Extraordinaire, Pinup Aficionado, Lover of Polka Dots, and 
Devoted Wife 

♥

I have a horrible tendency to overcommit

(Yes, of course I can do that!  There are 48 hours in a day, right?)

I dabble in everything

(Paper-mâché windshield wipers?  Macramé boxer briefs?  I sense stocking-stuffer potential!)

I love lolcats

I don't speak lolcat, I don't lolcat to my friends, I don't even bring lolcat into my every day relations with people, but gosh darn do I love looking at these silly cats.

I am a Star Wars nerd

Only for the original 3 (Episodes 4-6, that is).  I accept the newer 3 simply as a way to complete the story.  Hans Christian Anderson  Hayden Panettiere What's-his-name will never live up to Harrison Ford.

 I am an accent chameleon (i.e., I pick up on accents around me and apply them to my own speech)

("Well howdy, y'all, let's git-r-done!"  [5 minutes later] "Mais oui, mon ami, I am -- how you say? -- een LOVE weeth zees cupcake!")

I love **LOVE** L-O-V-E Christmas carols (thanks, mom)

So much so that every year I put together a hand-selected two-volume CD set of my favorite Christmas carols that I then share with friends and family.  In fact, this year, I've decided to share the love with my bloggy friends, too!  Come check out my fast-n-easy GIVEAWAY! (just in time for Christmas!)

I am slightly paranoid, and as thus, I suffer from RobertStackitis

A horrific disease upon which the rest of this post will be based.

Yes, my friends, I suffer from RobertStackitis.  As many of you may know, Robert Stack was the host and narrator for a real-life mystery show called Unsolved Mysteries.  For anyone who has seen (or, more importantly, heard) this show, you know what I'm talking about when I reference Robert Stack's deep, intense voice that he used when narrating the plot lines of the cases.

Whenever I'm about to do something that has a remote possibility of danger associated with it, Robert Stack begins to narrate my every move. 

For example:

(Without RobertStackitis) 

It's 9:30 on Tuesday night.  I'm taking out the trash.

(WITH RobertStackitis)   

"She thought it was a Tuesday night like any other as she began to take out the trash, but little did she know, her life was about to drastically change.  She glanced at the clock in the kitchen; it read 9:30.  She thought it was a bit late to head out to the dumpster in the back alley but she quickly dismissed any qualms and headed out the door.  She glanced at her husband on the couch watching TV -- she never realized it would be the last time she saw his face. " 

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Seriously, does this happen to anyone else?  OK, I **know** I'm pretty nuts, but I at least know that this chick shares in some of my feelings here. 

My RobertStackitis isn't just limited to crimes, though.  Oh no.  Not at all.  Try this one on for size:

(Without RobertStackitis)

Oooo!  I'm at the beach!  Splashy splashy splashy.

(WITH RobertStackitis)

"She thought it would be a day at the beach like any other [ARE WE NOTICING A TREND HERE??]  Despite recent shark siting warnings, she decided to swim in the ocean with her friends.  She was careful not to go too deep, but ankle-deep was just deep enough for the SUPER-SHALLOW-WATER-SCARY-KILLER-SHARKOFDEATH!!"

OMIGOSH I need a breather for a moment.

K better.

**

The rest of my life is pretty normal, though, in the most normal way that my CrAzY, spontaneous self can be.

Sure I might sing Step in Time when kicking my knees up down a case of stairs,
or maybe start a conversation with a stranger on the street because I like her pretty dress and want to beat her up for it, but everyone has their little quirks, right?

So come check me out.  Say hi.  Leave a comment.  Or not.  It's up to you.  But if you don't, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering if I could have been The One.  And that, my friends, would just be an Unsolved Mystery...

Now.

Go check her out here, or here and tell her Dumb Mom sent ya'. She'll like that.

And, if you wanna make sure to be one of Dumb Mom's ifriends in the future be sure to send me an email otherwise I may never know how awesomely awesome you really are:)!

Make New ifriends Monday: Unknown Mami

A bag on her face, a baby in her arms,
even undercover you'll fall for her charms.

She's funny, she's witty, her pictures are dope,
I know you will love her, at least that's what I hope!

Thanks UM for hookin' it up today!

* check her out here: Unknown Mami



Wait don’t go! Do not call the police! I am not robbing the place. If I was I would not bring a baby with me.
I know it’s a little off putting to stop by a friend’s place and be greeted by a stranger wearing a paper bag over her head, but I swear I’m an invited guest at Casa de Dummies. If you just give me a moment I will explain. You see last week I got a comment on my blog Unknown Mami from parenting BY dummies.OMG, how rude! I haven’t even introduced myself. I’m Unknown Mami, pleased to meet you and this is my daughter Put Pie. Anyway, I got this comment:
(big, deep breath) I was wondering if you would like to write a guest post for me? …Pretty please? On hands and knees begging right now. Holding my breath...
I was worried the woman would pass out on my floor and then I’d have to throw a rug over her and hope no one noticed the uneven texture so of course I said yes. Not really. What I really thought was I better say yes before she changes her mind. So here I am! Woo hoo!!! Another Dummy in da house!
I was told I could write about anything I wanted and I could even include pictures. Hmmm. I guess I’ll share a story that happened while I was pregnant and the hormones were driving me cuckoo and making me act like a dummy.
My husband, Unknown Papi, went out one night, which he rarely did during my pregnancy. He came back with a slice of pizza for me. When he offered it to me, I asked if he would warm it up. Gracious husband that he is, of course he did. Paranoid hormonal pregnant woman that I was, I said, "Did you wash your hands before handling the pizza? I don't want to get sick."

He replied, "Don't worry, I'm going to serve it to you with my ass cheeks not my hands."

Well, I lost it. Full blown hysterics. Crying, fighting, you name it. He tried to explain to me that he was joking. I told him that if it was funny, I would have laughed.

My hormones did not see the humor until I started telling other people and every single one of them would just crack up. They were hysterical too, but in a good way.

And now for pictures:





This is where I live. Isn’t it beautiful?
Well, I’ve really enjoyed my visit at Casa de Dummies. I am officially inviting you over to my place whenever you like. Don’t be a stranger. Mi casa es su casa! I guess it’s more like mi blogo es su blogo. I love company and I promise my husband will not serve snacks with his ass cheeks. Adios.

Wanna have your turn on PBD as an ifriend guest poster?

'Course you do, silly.

You get a day all to yourself over here, and a Dumb Mom original poem written specifically about you.

With those kinda perks, you really can't afford to pass up an opportunity like this.

Seriously.

Have your people call my people.

Or, you can just shoot me an email (parentingbydummies{at}gmail{dot}com)
saying you're dying to be down with the SO NOT dumb PBD ifriends club.

And, don't worry, after a week of intense hazing, you'll get in, everyone does!