Eating Healthy is Looney: Grocery Goblins

The people at Mom Logic and the Eating Right people from Safeway seem to think that you can make going to the grocery store with your kids a fun, educational experience.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but at the moment I tend to equate going to the grocery store with all of the dudes in tow with getting a speeding ticket, falling down the stairs at work, and having a tooth filled all in the same day. Meaning, it's annoying, embarrassing, time consuming, and painful.

I try to avoid it whenever possible, but sometimes it really just must be done (which is only when we're out of everything, as in the only edible items in sight are a jar of mayo and a bottle vinegar).

But, I do take #2 with me every time I go. It's like our thing.

We get to take our time and he is in charge of putting things in the cart for me and of picking the treat of the week.

Since we've started going together, just the two of us, we have more time to talk and he's really learned a lot. He knows which brands I like to buy, how to tell if something is on sale, and (go figure) which items are considered "sometimes snacks" and which ones are the ones that Mommy wants him to choose (not that he actually does, but he at least, knows he should).

We honestly have a really good baby-free-big-bro-free-bickering-free time with it.

But, for the life of me, I have not figured out how to make it from one end of the store to the other accompanied by all three of them without someone being physically assaulted, verbally chastised, or abducted by aliens.

The only time I'm able to come home with edible foodstuffs without causing a reality-tv-show-worthy scene (ie my kid composes, produces, and performs a fat song about me for the suddenly-highly-amused-and-not-even-trying-to-hide-it patrons) is when we go to the farm to get it.

As luck (or misfortune) would have it, we live in very close proximity to numerous farms that grow and sale all types of fruit, veggies, meat, cheese, and eggs.



Basically, a creative, enterprising individual (which I so am not) can find everything you need to survive (except for macaroni and cheese, which is a nonnegotiable necessity) at it's source within 15 minutes of my house.

We like to visit these places a few times a year to enjoy the more flavorful, more healthy, less expensive items they offer, but I really just don't have time to head out to 5 different farms every other week to accomplish our basic grocery shopping.

Would be nice, but it ain't happenin'.

Needless to say, tips for successful grocery store navigation would be greatly appreciated.

Especially, how are you able to get outta there without buying tons of garbage you don't need (but totally want, like powdered sugar doughnuts, pudding pops, and other stuff your kids beg for)?

And, why is that my kids deem the moment we disembark from the Battle Wagon (our name for our car) as the perfect time to skin a knee, drop a mad deuce, or remember that they forgot their shoes at home (making me the mom of that kid)?

Your comments and suggestions on these matters would be greatly appreciated. However, if you intend to inform me that these things happen this way because I suck at mommying, please note that I'm fully aware of my shortcomings and therefore would like to focus on ways to circumvent these as I have no real interest in making improvements to my person.

So, advise away if you know how I can make my kids more socially appealing without having to work too hard for it!

Thanks:)

Be sure you hurry and enter your cutest Halloween photos so you have a shot at winning this.