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Monday, August 17, 2009

Teen Beef

So, I am all about beef.

I'm not talking about the USDA sort, I'm talking about the good old fashioned you-got-a-problem-punk-then-say-it-to-my-face kinda beef.

Currently my beef is with (among others) teenagers.

I've had beef with teenagers numerous times in the past for various reasons: movie talking, public cursing, bad driving, excessive giggling, excited screaming, roughhousing at the playground, dry humping behind the amusement park bathroom.

You know, standard, worthy of beef type behaviors that virtually every single teenager on the planet has been or is about to be guilty of.

But today's beef is of a much less innocuous sort.

It's not based on behaviors per se; it's more about preferences.

Specifically their preferences re: fashion.

Particularly boys' fashion, as I only have boys of my own, and am therefore most concerned with this and how it will affect my dudes in the future.

There are a few current trends that I would like to see disappear before my boys start to grow a personal preference when it comes to fashion.

At the moment, I could dress #1 in a monkey suit everyday and he'd probably be fine with that. #2 is oft concerned with if something "matches", though he has no idea what actually does or doesn't ('cause guess what, son, cowboy boots don't match with swimming trunks, I don't care what you say).

I've noticed in recent years that my tolerance for personal expression is dwindling. I don't want to see kids (or anyone, really) wearing whatever the hell they want.

I shouldn't have to be the victim of fashion assault, and at times I am downright offended by how horrible certain members of society choose to look.

My biggest teen inspired fashion "issue" at the moment is the wearing of skinny jeans.

More specifically the wearing of skinny jeans, by boys.

Sagging skinny jeans, no less.

This is wrong on so many levels.

For starters, boys/men should be prohibited from wearing skinny jeans at all. There is no reason why my entire afternoon at the park should have to be disrupted by the distracting and virtually unavoidable sight of your, for lack of a better word, camel balls.


I'm trying to enjoy a sunny afternoon with my children and all I can focus on is the teenage boy loitering on the corner with his man pack about to burst outta his jeans.


Furthermore, skinny jeans are not meant to be sagged.

Over sized, loose fitting jeans, yes.

Skinny, fitted, butt hugging, tapered leg jeans, no.

I don't know how you can even take a step with those tight pants wrapped around your thighs like a tourniquet, but it looks ridiculous.

So, skinny jeans=no.

My second beef is with over sized t-shirts.

(And, sorry Weezy, you were asking for it with this one.)
I think this is an urban inspired trend (meaning, they wear it in the hood) which is possibly also regional (never saw it on the West Coast), and not to offend Baltimoreans, but I hate this trend. I really, really do.

I guess I just don't get it. Why would a dude want to kick it in a nightgown all day.

I know that night shirts are comfortable and functional (no need to worry about owning separate attire for PJs), but it really distracts from your gangster look.

The one teen fashion trend that I am hoping will stick around for a bit is the long hair thing.

My guys have long hair.

It's sorta their thing.

Long, luxurious locks of curly beautiful hair.

Right now it's cool. All the guys have the long hair thing going on, so they don't have any reason to feel weird about it.

I'd hate for some silly style like this to make a comeback.

Do you remember the box?

I spent all of 7th grade desperately in love with a boy and his box. And, his was a spitting image of Kid's from Kid 'N Play! Sexy! Not

I mean, really, can you imagine my baby's face with that hair?

Ew. Shoot me now.


that one girl said...

bueno! visiting from SITS! love the blog - too funny! I have the same beef girl...but it's on the sqgging end....i have a 12 year old stepson who tries to make it out of the house without a belt many away with it pants him in public....last time he went out without a belt....

have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...and very well said and I couldn't agree more! Some of them (well quite a lot of them actually) just look laughably ridiculous. I clearly lead a sheltered life over here because I hadn't seen that loooong t-shirt thing before. ...Reminds me of an old lady's 'foundation wear'! :D

Tammy Howard said...

Teens HAVE to wear things that adults find ridiculous. It's their job. It's how we differentiate them from the rest of the herd. We're not SUPPOSED to like it. If we did, they'd have to wear something else.

That being said, I like me some boys with long hair, too. :-)

The Main Ladybug said...

I too have an issue with fashion nightmares, but more importantly, I have an issue with the PARENTS who allow these kids to leave the house looking like . . . well, I don't even know how to express myself on this one!!! Just yesterday I saw a Mom walking all proud beside of her daughter who looked like she had fallen head first into a tween clothing dumpster - embellished black, pink & white ball cap, red embellished tight t-shirt, black embellished denim skirt, high-top (and you guessed it - embellished) hot pink tennis shoes, and it goes on and on and on - I'm serious!

Anyway, I think fashion (like everything else) begins at home, and at a very young age! My grandbabies are dressed fashionably from birth on . . . and wouldn't dream of leaving the house looking like everyday is Halloween!

Woooo, got me going, huh? LOL

Have a great day!

Kathy B! said...

You are making me laugh today.

As the mama of four girls I never really pay attention to the fashion foolishness of their male counterparts.... I guess it's bad on both sides.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I have a blog in my "written-but-as-yet-unpublished" file that's about teenagers. Specifically my inotlerance of teenagers that has developed over the past couple of years. (And the fear that this officially makes me old and uncool.)

And their fashion is just another one of the things that drive me crazy, so I totally agree. Ugh.

confused homemaker said...

wait when did the box go out of style;)

unless you are a heroin using rocker skinny jeans are out. and unless you are running from the law please leave the giant pants with "wife beaters" (i know classy name) at home. it's worse though when it's a 30+ year old doing it (and trust me i know many, sad to admit, so sad).

TheKitchenWitch said...

"I spent all of 7th grade desperately in love with a boy and his box"--LMAO.

And "camel balls"? Round here, we call those jeans "Nuthuggers." Very disturbing, indeed.

Mira is triplet crown said...

The skinny jean was the punk world's domain. Has it escaped? Not good.

I always wonder how they don't see how bad they look. Every generation picks ugly clothes it seems. The number of muffin tops I see around on teenage girls these days, jeans with pockets under the butt so you butt looks bigger, thongs up above jeans with sparkly bits so you can enjoy them, tank tops with bra straps hanging out, and so on. It's all ugly! I was so careful to never wear anything unflattering in my time. But maybe I just didn't see it?

Lisa Anne said...

LMAO, yeah the skinny jeans, I don't understand them on boys at all. It's the whole EMO style that Pete Wentz has put out there. I mean if you're a guy you should n't wear womens Jeans. I don't care how cool you think you look. Then there is the opposite the guys who wear the jeans that are falling down past their knees, I'm sorry I don't care if your boxer shorts shoot out Dollar bills, pull your pants up as I don't need to see that shit.

Why can't they just wear normal jeans, if you liek them a little snug then wear them a little snug same goes for baggy. But If I see the outline of your whoo whoo parts then its too tight and if I see your underwear they are too big sweetie!!

Keyona said...

Hilariuos! Me and my hubby just talked bout the "skinny jeans" on boys. It's horrible! I'll take looking at baggy jeans any day!

SmartPumpkin'sMom said...

Every time we are walking behind a yang man with a pair of jeans that sag till his knees my daughter just gotta say it on top of her voice:"Mommy, why nis that man's underwear sticking out?"
And she is absolutely right!

Jennifer said...

Teenagers like to make a statement. They are all trying to make the same statement, but still. Ugh. I have a girl so I'm really not looking forward to those arguement.

Helene said...

Oh man, I totally get this! Just 2 days ago as I was driving to the store, I saw 3 teenage boys about to cross the street and I thought they had to be the ugliest creatures I had ever seen, particularly one of them. He had long straggly greasy hair covered by a ski hat, a huge oversized t-shirt, ultimate-tight skinny jeans (seriously, he looked emacicated) and huge shoes. Oh and he was smoking a cigarette. So gross.

I pointed them out to my kids and said, "Boys, I absolutely forbid you to ever dress like that....and Bella, you may never bring a boy home that looks like that! Are we straight? Yes?? Oh and no smoking allowed!"

angie said...

I concur. Boys/men should not wear skinny jeans.......most women, either. And the oversized T's? Totally don't get that either. However. What is wrong with the plateau hair? Kidding. :)

Anonymous said...

I agree 100% on the skinny jean bit.... I hate them on girls and guys... sadly I don't think there is much I can do both girls are dead set on owning a pair sometime in the near future.....

Anonymous said...

It sounds like Catholic school for the dudes.
Or my mom raised us with the rule if it's my money, I get final say; if it's your money, buy whatever you want, but I get final say on how you look when you leave MY house.
Since we would rather use our money for music and food, it worked out well.

Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;) said...

I am so lucky that my oldest son HATES to shop! While all his friends were wearing their belt around their thighs trying to hold up their britches, and tall-t's, my son was wearing 'body accentuating' American Eagle and Holister jeans and t's. I explained to him that when I was in school, there was nothing better that looking at a guy's butt in a nice pair of Levi's. I also asked him which gurl he would rather date: the one in the huge sloppy t-shirt and baggy pants down around her knees, or the one who was wearing a tight t-shirt and jeans that showed off her figure. He said, "Which ever one puts out."

ewwwww....teenagers are n-a-s-t-y!!!

Aleta said...

Normal cloths, that's all I want of fashion. Nothing crazy, too tight or too big that you see the underwear. And.. nothing slutty. Have you seen the way that girls dress? YOUNG girls dressing as if they are on street corners. Where are the parents with all this going on?!!

Anonymous said...

very nicely said...i agree! lol!!!

Shannon said...

my step-son... he avoided the sagging skinny jeans for an entire year before giving into the local-skateboarder-trend... and I TOO HATE this style! UGH!

Stefanie said...

Seriously, I spit my drink out of my nose twice. TWICE. That is hysterical and not just because I have a twelve and fourteen year old boy who wears those GOD AWFUL skinny jeans, you are just plain FUNNY!

Unknown Mami said...

I don't know I think the hair looks cute on the baby.

supah ~d said...

I LOVED kid nplay... why you hatin on them??

I KNOW .. I JUST somehow KNOW.. that you can do the kid n play dance..

I feel it.

YOur showin your kidlets right now....

aren't you?

A Real Housewife said...

found your blog through Mama Kat's. I'm laughing hysterically at your posts! Great blog.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

OMG, I'm dying at that last picture! I HATE skinny jeans on boys. Like those Jonas Brothers. EW!

Kacey R. said...

Oh this made me totally laugh out loud! I couldn't agree more, although, I have to admit, I wouldn't mind the box coming back. I know! I know! Blame Memory Lane. :D

Mrs4444 said...

I'm so with you on the skinny jeans on guys-ICK!

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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