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Friday, March 19, 2010

RanDumb: Relief

Thank you to everyone who was kind enough to stop by and wish me a speedy recovery yesterday.

You should know that I have gotten some much needed relief in the form of a visit to Dr. Kidney. 

Seriously, that man is a witchdoctor and I love it.  In all fairness though, his intervention was not needed in this particular instance as my sculpted machine of a body worked through this on its own.  But still, he knew, just by looking at me (and my labs and my scans and stuff) what was wrong with me.  I love knowing that my medical professional’s medical degree is legit and that he’s not one of those weird dudes who set up a practice in a storage unit.  Whew!

Anyway it’s done.  We can all move on and get back to normal around here at pBd.  Rest assured that while it was fun, my venture into shark infested waters politics and controversial topics is over.

It won’t be happening again any time soon.  Well, provided my health insurance company doesn’t attempt to have me killed again.  In which case, it’s on.

pBd is a carefree place for the happily dumb. 

We don’t care about religion, or race, or politics, or other super important stuff that gets people all pissed, here at pBd. 

All are welcome to enjoy Dumb Mom for the dummy that she is. 

Everyone is encouraged to laugh and enjoy the trials and tribulations Dumb Mom faces as she attempts to navigate life with three super human super geniuses who outsmart her on a daily basis (don’t you just love it when Dumb Mom talks in the third person?  It’s like a vicious cycle once it starts, because strangely she can’t stop).

And awards.  You can give Dumb Mom as many awards as you want.  See…Brea knows what’s up!

So long as you keep your expectations low.

Expect to laugh, expect to smile, expect to cry when you realize that you too are a dumb mom.

But, don’t expect to be enlightened (unless my ignorance serves as a break thru for you) or inspired (although it is my hope to be someone’s inspiration, someday) or informed, unless it has to do with hip, cool products for kids and moms. 

Or couture.  This Dumb Family LOVES couture.

We don’t get to buy a lot of it, but we would if we could and we (aka ME) don’t sacrifice when it comes to shoes and handbags.  Some things are just necessities.

Shoes, handbags, and health care reform, people, that’s what Dumb Mom is about.

And tips.  Mom Tips.  You know, the thing I do on Tuesdays, and encourage you to do as well?

Anyway here’s one: is hosting a FREE weekend starting today and running through Sunday (3/21).

Are you not familiar with  Are you not in need of an awesome babysitter so that you can ignore your children with a clear conscious or a reliable pet sitter or a non-threatening-in-a-I-will-beat-you-if-you-mess-those-depends sorta way grandma sitter (yep they have those too!)?

I do.  Or I did.  And I used to find her.

At least look at it.  Just for this weekend, since it’s free, and I know how you all feel about free!

Anyway, how about a classic RanDumb post today?  You know, one about other people being dumb for the world to see?!


Five Things You Should Be Relieved About Today

5.  That you are not the Hitler/Mussolini/Stalin Baby.  Seriously, it seems funny when you are sitting at home all bored and post-partum depressed, but when you take it on the road for the world to see you just seem mentally unstable and creepy.  Even if some other mentally unstable and creepy person pays you a whole butt load of cash for your mentally unstable and creepy manifestation of art, it doesn't make you appear any less mentally unstable or creepy, nor does it distract from the fact that one day your kid is gonna see it and know that she is the child of a mentally unstable and creepy person and, in fact, she could be one too.  But, I guess you can do a lot of mentally unstable and creepy crap and get away with it if you just call it art.

4.  That you may have tripped, or stumbled, or perhaps even fallen at a blogging conference in front of 85 Power Moms, but at least you didn’t do it on TV and burn up any hope you have of becoming the next Tony Perkins.  Who decided that wheels on chairs was a good idea?  They have lead to so many unnecessary accidents.


3.  To NOT be the balloon this dummy decided to shove himself in.  My favorite part is when he get’s inside and says something like, “Well, I’m inside, what now?”  I know.  How about GET A LIFE!  Or a wife.  Or a friggin’ job.  And then I felt bad, so just watch the video and promise me you won’t try to do this at home.  With your kid.

2.  Well, I was gonna say the mom this is being sung about, but then I remembered, YOU ARE!

1.  Anybody competing in Shell’s and Supah’s Dance Yer Bloggy Off, because thanks to my “situation” this week I was unable to school you on Cotton Eyed Joe.  You don’t even wanna know how lucky you are that my kimono was on the DL list this week.  Next week.  It will be brought.

Come back tomorrow for a fun Cent Saving Saturday weekend and don’t forget to head over to Kerry’s for our weekly The View Blab Fest.  It’s about sex and drugs in the form of Jessica Simpson and Sex Rehab.


4 Lettre Words said...

Guess I could be a news anchor b/c I could certainly do that!

Glad you are feeling better. Have a great weekend!

Kmama said...

LOL at htat news anchor. The blogosphere is full of funny stuff today. Yay!!

I'm glad you're feeling better, but sorry that you couldn't compete in the dance off!!

Much More Than Mommy said...

Glad you're feeling better! Look forward to you showing off more moves for the next dance-off!

BlogBaby said...

Glad you are doing better and that your doctor is far more qualified to treat you than say, Dr. Nick, from the Simpsons.

How do you find such random crazy videos?? It's a talent, for sure.

BlogBaby's BabyMama

Jennifer said...

OMG you post the funniest clip! That new anchor falling out of the chair made me laugh so hard my kids came running to see what I was laughing at.

The Grasshoppa:Triplets Plus Two Momma said...

This is me smiling :)

Anonymous said...

funny!! Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!!


Jennifer said...

I'm so glad that you are feeling better.

Anonymous said...

My mom's on facebook and nagged me to do farmville until I did, so that I can send her gifts. It's embarressing. Now I'm in heated competion with my brother over it.

Natalie | The Bobby Pin said...

These are hilarious videos!

I love the pBd rules. So cute.

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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