Randumb Resolutions

Welcome to another edition of Randumb, where unrelated dumb happeneings from around the web are highlighted for the purpose of making me feel more awesome about myself.

This week I've decided to focus on New Year's Resolutions.

This is not something we really get into at Casa de Dummies.

Hubby is not a huge fan of them, something about living a life of excellence at all times, and setting and keeping goals as a way of life.

I don't buy it myself, figure it's just a way for him to avoid having to come up with something and try sticking to it, but whatever, I don't really push it because in theory (only just in theory) he has a point with the year round committment to awesome thing.

But, I, like millions of other people often use the first of the year as a jumping off point for making life changes.

Well for making the one life change that I have been trying to make every single effing year since #1 wreaked havoc on my body.

Losing weight.

Every January 1st, I resolve (and by resolve I generally mean I say it knowing in the back of my mind I don't mean it because I can already invision the cupcakes I will be downing by the fistful come #3's ill placed January birthday) to stop eating crap, start working out, and get my body back to the temple it once was.

After finding not one, but two Wii Fits under my tree this year (long story short, my family needs a much better system of gift giving communication) I knew that 2010 would be no different; I would make a heatheir, fitter, hotter body my goal for the year.

And, you know what, this time I really mean it.

Seriously.

I know I've said that all the other years, too, but I'm for real now. I'm sick of crying human tears every time I have to get dressed in non-elastic waist pants to go somewhere.

I want something better for myself.

And, I'm not alone in my quest for greatness.

Tons of people "comitt" themselves to making life changes each year.

Funny thing is, most of us choose to work on the same few things, which just leads me to think it's all just hopeless.

I mean think about it. If we are all struggling to lose weight/eat healthy/save cash then doesn't it just seem unlikely that I'm ever gonna really be happy with these aspects of my life? I mean what is the likelihood that it'll be me?

Hopefully that reasoning is faulty, because I'm just not ready to give up on being a one digit pants size again.

I think the best thing I can do to feel positive about my chances is to help some of you avoid common pitfalls that people fall into while attempting to stick to the most common New Years Resolutions (and make fun of the World Wide Web-full of imbeciles who make it their life's work to provide fodder for awesome sites like Funny or Die and Stupidvideos.com).

Hope this helps!

How To Not Stick To your New Years Resolutions

NYR 1: Spend more time with friends/family. Doing so becomes virtually impossible, however if you find yourself locked up for sniffing people's butts. While doing this is not against the law, per se, it is just creepy enough to cause the police to regard you as a "person of interest". Good luck keeping your nose clean (pun intended) once that happens!



NYR 2: Lose Weight. One way to ruin any cahnce you have of dropping el-bees is to go to McDonalds. But, if for some reason you find yourself smack dab in the middle of ex-transfat heaven you do have options. Instead of consuming the burger mysteriously placed in front of you, instead you could go on a rampage. From what I hear they burn tons of calories and you won't even be tempted to consume any of your fatty artery clogging yumminess since you'll be to preoccupied with fleeing from the authorities. Because you know, those places have SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS RECORDING YOUR EVERY MOVE DUMMY:



NYR: Enjoy Life More. Something you can easily do provided you aren't the clumsiest, most unlucky human being on the planet.

Best Man Wedding Fail - watch more funny videos

So, good luck this year (provided you haven't already abandoned your efforts) creating a new you.

Hopefully you will have better luck than these braniacs did.

Personally, as this is the year of AWESOMENESS I am sticking to it.

I swear!

I totally am.

Now that I've polished off all of the ice cream, cookies, candy, brownies, fudge, cake, and pie in this place, we should be good to go.

Want to join in with a little Randumb fun of your own? Join Half Past Kissing Time (the original inspiration for Randumb) for her Friday Fragments link up.