Ask Me Monday: Hello 2010

It’s been a long while since I’ve done and Ask Me Monday post.

I’m trying to start this year off right, by sticking to my preconceived-in-my-mind-only-not-shared-with-others-to-prevent-anyone-from-noticing-when-I-deviate-from-it schedule.

Doing this is part of my theme for the year: AWESOMENESS (wait wasn’t that supposed to be my theme last year? I really mean it this time. Get it right…AWE-SOME-NESS).

That means being AWESOME (100%, everyday baby), looking AWESOME (is there something wrong with reflective warm up suits and Looney Tunes t-shirts?), feeling AWESOME (totally bustin’ a cap in this cold’s a**), and, appreciating AWESOME in everything, from people (like the kids, the Hubby, the extended fam, and you guys) to products (What do you get when you cross Oprah’s Favorite Things with Dumb Mom? Awesome stuff normal humans can afford of course!).

So, I figured this would be a perfect way to jump off the new year.

By focusing on me (just as a way of setting a precedent for the remainder of the year).

A little crash course on Dumb Mom and her dumb life (which from time to time requires that I refer to myself in the 3rd person), because I know you all have been dying to get behind enemy lines.

Find out what makes Dumb Mom tick so you can destroy me!

Not sure what’s up with the paranoia (that’s not AWESOME at all).

Maybe it’s because The Dudes have taken to sneaking up on me.

Something about my scared face is apparently very humorous to them.

Whatever, when I soil myself and give them a taste of what their future holds (when I’m an 85 year old diaper wearing ex diva) they will be sorry.

Anyway, moving right along to the reason we are here today…

Inquiring Minds want to know, and as such, I’m obliged to tell:

Question

Many of you (okay, so I use the word many loosely to mean one or two) have asked about how I get free crap and involved with other PR type stuff (like Mighty Media Girls) .

Answer

Well this one is easy.

It’s because I’m AWESOME, duh (didn’t you read the beginning of this post?)!

Actually, some of it (like the MM Girls business) has really just been a case of knowing the right people and being awesome.

I’ve only been blogging for a year, so I’m just starting to get to know a lot of bloggers. And, just like a regular job, blogging is largely about networking and making connections. I know a handful of successful bloggers; no one HUGE, but successful. And they are really good about helping us little people.

But, it does help that I am just so dang nice and sweet and easy to get a long with that people just want me involved in their campaigns.

You know, it’s my face. I think it just oozes marketability and really draws people in.

Yeahright.

It’s really more the case that I’m not clever enough, devious enough, or ambitious enough to outshine any one else, nor am interested in doing so, and, I follow directions like nobody’s business (possibly because I’m generally so brain dead from exhaustion that without directions I’m completely inactive and idealess). All of these things combine to make me the PERFECT marketing campaign candidate.

And, it does help that I really am nice (shut up BFF, I freakin’ am!).

As far as a lot of the free stuff, again it’s about knowing the right people, sorta. I don’t actually know many of them personally, but I’ve joined enough PR marketing groups (like Buzz Cooperative and BSM Media) to get offers that I like and think you will too. And, since I follow through, and don’t make it my personal vendetta to ruin companies whose products I’m not a fan of (I generally refrain from writing about suck products at all because why do you want to hear about crap I DON’T like? I prefer to focus on awesome stuff. You know, just to keep with the theme of things over here) they see me as a “safe bet” when it comes to sending me free products.

Feel free to contact me if you want to get more involved with doing reviews (although I suggest you limit them unless you really do want to do a dedicated review blog, just to keep a nice balance).

Question

How do I become an ifriend?

Answer

Again. This one is all about awesomeness (told you it was my theme for the year!).

I scour the net for cool people who give me awards I enjoy reading. Then I beg them (on virtual hands and knees of course) to do me the honor of guest posting on my blog.

Or.

You can just ask. And since I’m a weakling when it comes to saying no as long as your blog isn’t related to porn, Satan worship, or outer space, chances are you’re in.

ifriend fo’ life!

Incidentally, it’s the only way that your little button will probably ever make it onto my little blog (nothing personal, I just hate seeing all that stuff in my sidebar). ifriends get all the Dumb perks and privileges, including custom written Dumb Mom original poetry and the SO NOT DUMB Official Stamp of Approval (which is really just my button to place on your blog).

Question

What is it like living with all males?

Answer

Loud, unpredictable, smelly, tiring, frustrating, and some times frightening.

But, it’s also energizing, inspiring, challenging (in a good way), exciting, fun, and perfectly (way-to-stick-with-the-theme-of-things) Awesome.

While I may still be wasting my time pinning after a daughter to call my own, I can honestly say that I can’t imagine our family any differently (except with an added few hundred grand in the bank).

I have to admit that I like being the damsel in distress to be saved by the 3 Musketeers, the bonny lass being rescued by Jack Sparrow (#2), Will Turner (#1), and the monkey (#3), and the Princess Leia to their Luke (#1), Hans(#2), and Chewbacca (#3).

I can’t say that I’m totally over the idea of dressing up a princess of my own, but I can say that, as my friends’ daughters are rapidly approaching tweenhood there are some distinct elements of mother-to-a-daughterhood that I am glad to be missing out on.

At Casa de Dummies the giggling, the screaming, the divatude, and the moodiness are my domain and mine alone. I don’t have to share my PMSing limelight with anyone else and I’m pretty sure I like it that way.

Question

Why did Blog Baby win the last photo contest?

Answer

Because I effing said so.

And, because her photo was awesome.

But, since I’m not one to beat a dead horse (wack, wack, wack) let me just say that I hear ya’ people. You were all pumped and ready to see your crowd favorite walk away with the crown.

After all, this is America.

We like a democracy (even though most of us still don’t quite get that electoral college thingamajig), preferably of the majority rules variety.

We appreciate our right to vote, and expect, no, demand that things are run fairly (except for that one time, in Florida, and maybe a few hundred other times before that).

But, I don’t wanna be George or Jim or any of those other boring-name dudes.

I want to be me.

And, to make up for a few tough years in middle school (and maybe high school), I want you to like me.

So, in an effort to appease the masses, and to make you all feel like your votes mean something (because they do, I swear they do) my next photo contest, which will incidentally be droppin’ it like it’s hot on February 1st, will feature a FAN FAVORITE category that will be based entirely on number of votes received.

As long as it qualifies (meaning you submit it by the deadline and it matches the criteria I set forth) it will be eligible to win.

And I don’t care if you sell your eggs or street walk for votes, if you get the most, you win, no questions asked, no Dumb Mom interference, no ifs, ands, or BUTTS about it!

And, the prize isn’t gonna be some second-rate-thanks-for-playing bull crap. It’s gonna be AWESOME, ‘cause that’s just how I roll.

So, get your minds right, because the next round of rowdy will be here before you know it.

At the moment, the contest theme is TOP SECRET (aka if-I-tell-you-I-have-to-kill-you-confidential), but I’ll give you a hint: no kids involved, it’s all about you and your awesome and it may require you to visit your parents. I know, it may not sound fun, but it will be.

Promise!

Feel free to send in your own questions for Dumb Mom to answer for Ask Me Monday, a monthly feature on parenting BY dummies.*

*Questions submitted do not have to be solely about Dumb Mom and her Dumb Family, they can be on any topic you can think of it so long as you don’t hold Dumb Mom liable should the answer provided prove to be inaccurate, improbable, or flat out false.