When it comes to making, or building, or even just assembling things it seems like my hands work a lot like this...
Not sure why. Just is.
But, one thing I can do well (although I try not to really let people know about this one, don't want them raising their expectations or anything) is work.
I can hand mop a floor like nobody's business. Can't say I enjoy it, but still, it's something I've perfected (thanks Mom!) so should I choose to use it, you know for the purpose of wowing guests, I could.
And, I recently discovered that it's not just inside the house work I'm good at.
I learned this summer (due to Hubby's Sudden Onset of Lawn Mowing Induced Semi Paralysis) that I can mow a mean lawn.
And, weeds beware, because (when I can actually get the bloody thing started) I will whack the crap outta you.
Fall is now in full effect around here and, not sure if I mentioned this before but, my house is surrounded by trees.
Everyone knows what happens to trees during the fall. I've discovered that I have quite the intense loathing of leaves, and the trees they blew off of.
They cover, literally cover, my yard and my porch and my deck and my sidewalks and my cars (since the effing garage is still effing broken so the effing cars are stranded in the effing driveway which means every time it effing rains I get drenched running the kids back and forth from the effing house!).
I have to sweep pretty much everyday and, although I was able to avoid it for weeks, I (and Hubby, he actually did the entire back alone b/c I wholeheartedly refused) had to rake the yard.
Actually, and this is sad, the dudes informed me that the yard "wooked widiculous" so we decided to get started while Hubby was at work.
So, Mama Kat and my Writer's Workshop pals, I made this...
A big, fat pile of dead leaves that I'd love to burn, but can't (Damn HOA!).
But, it was actually quite fun (possibly because we only spent about 30 minutes doing the actual working part)!
See that last one?
With the double snap point #2 is giving me?!
Well, that was him calling me out.
And, as I'm not one to shy away from a challenge ("I ain't goin' out like no punk" ring a bell?) I put down the camera and went for a few
It was fun.
Until my body failed me.
And, I pulled a hami or a groin or a whatever it is that goes up, down, and around in your hip/thigh/crotch area.
And, an old injury (a rump shakin' related injury sustained during my weekend in Vegas, yep I'm that sad) reared it's ugly head.
And, I was forced to sit out for the remainder of the leaf jump a-thon and take more photos...
So, this Thursday I'm thanking my Dumb Body. For failing me. Again.
Thank you and you're welcome.
Card Reads: Dear Dumb Body, Thank you for effing up my life. Seriously. Enough is enough. Not only do you look downright embarrassing, but your performance leaves A LOT to be desired. I can't even effectively play with my kids without your interference. I tried to take the stairs two at a time last week and actually strained my ankle...I couldn't walk right for 3 days! Not even a year ago I was jogging circles around this hilly neighborhood, now I can barely walk down one! What is happening to me? I'm going to pieces, and fast. I'm not sure if this is an age related issue or a size related issue, but it better be the latter, 'cause that I can fix. This better not be a sign that I'm getting old, or so help me...Just know that you have been warned, put on notice that you're not going to talk me into watching Eastwick instead of working out, and you're not going to convince me that polishing off the Halloween candy is a good idea. I'm through with you and your "good ideas". Eff your good ideas. It's your good ideas that have made me into the fat goose egg that I am today. The fat lady's singing, my chocolate loving friend, and it's ova. Officially. I'm going for a run, I mean a jog, I mean a quick walk now, so eat my dust. XOXO, Dumb Mom
I have someone you wanna thank?
Go ahead link 'em here (my friend, 'HI SUPAH!' said you guys would like this)!