Saturday Swag-urday: Movies & Games

Before we jump headlong (always wanted to say that!) into today's PBD's Ultimate Bomb Diggity Gift Giving Guide of 2009 post, let me mention that there has been another entry into the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest.

That's right people, two whole entries, this baby is heating up!

Our latest entrant is entitled "Unhappy Chicken" and it was submitted by Sharon from the Yummy Mummy Club.



Cute, right?!

Thanks for your entry, Sharon, and good luck!

Hopefully, this adorable photo will inspire other procrastinating mommas to post their entries, and remember, peeps, they don't even have to be from this Halloween!

On to the goods.

I swear, every week that goes by gets you closer and closer to being Sinbad (or even worse, Arnie) in Jingle All the Way.



And, we both know, you SO don't wanna be the female version of Sinbad (or even worse, Arnie) at any point in your life.

No need to worry, Dumb Mom, expert on nothing who knows just about everything is here to save the day!

And, this week I'm bringing you DVDs and board games!

We are a digital family 'round these parts.

We have it all, iPods, gaming systems, BluRay players, etc.

Basically, if it plugs in, we probably own it or are considering buying it.

We also have a healthy obsession (oxymoron, much?) with movies.

Our collection of home movies has changed quite a bit in recent years (less Scorsese more Disney), but it has continued to grow exponentially.

So, while I don't consider myself a film critic, per se, I do feel that I have experienced enough through the eyes of my boys to let you in on some that may be a hit with your little people. Provided they are like mine, obnoxious lovers of knights, blood, and mind control.

Dumb Mom's List of Movies to Own Her Boys Say They Love

5. Snow White and the Seven Dwarf's. As we only recently received this film from One2One Network for review, they have not yet had the chance to watch it to the point of memorization, but I'm sure it will quickly move to that. I was skeptical about whether or not they would enjoy this title (I didn't think the boys would love the collar popped singing diva with mommy issues who was followed around by a band of suspiciously small and not very smart little people), but it has two things going for it: 1) A hero; which is their main requirement for a film to be a hit, and 2) A villain; a hero really can't be a hero without one, can they? It's funny that my dudes had never seen this film (since it's the one that started it all by coming out in 1937!). That's the problem with Disney locking movies in their fantasy torture chamber (they call it "the vault"); whole generations of kids are never exposed to the magic. The thing I love about this newly released version of the film is that it's been remastered as part of Disney's Diamond Collection so it doesn't look all fuzzy, and grainy, and old. Plus, the Diamond Edition comes as a two disk pack with a Blu-ray disk and a DVD so they can take it on the road to places that don't have a Blu-ray player (like Mimi's house). I do have a small bone to pick with Miss White. What is with the whistle song? My kids haven't stopped whistling all week and it's really starting to irk me. I've informed them that the only time whistling is acceptable is when they are working; I'm thinking it will stop now.

4. Spy Kids is tied with The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl. These movies suck. They suck so bad that I can't even stand to listen to them so they have been eternally banned from the car to prevent me from throwing myself from a moving vehicle. Spy Kids movies are corny and the actors are pretentious. And, saying that I hate Shark Boy is putting it nicely because really the whole time I was watching that movie I was sitting there wishing he would die. The only remotely interesting tidbit about Shark Boy and Lava Girl is that Shark Boy grows up to be Jacob Black, the lovely #2 after Bella's heart in Twilight. But, all my nasty words aside, my kids love these crapass films and watch them repeatedly. So, if your kids aren't bothered by bad acting, annoying dialogue, and predictable plot lines, run on over to Target and pick these up.

3. Jumangi. The oldest movie we own is probably about to disintegrate from over playing. Even though it looks like it was recorded 75 years ago they love it. Love. It.

2. School of Rock. It did teach #2 how to effectively use the word ass in a sentence, but other than that, it's awesome. The music is great, Jack Black is hilarious, and the child actors are funny and not all child actory.

1. Nacho Libre. Not sure this is exactly appropriate for kids, but it's appropriate for Dumb Mom's kids, and they've seen it so much by now it really makes no difference. I think we may have a thing for Jack Black. And, I know we have a thing for Mexican wrestlers.

As far as games are concerned, I have a few halfhearted suggestions because, to be honest, we don't really do board games.

People are always gifting them to us because they think that we will think that they have family game night and they want us to think that because that's what well adjusted families are supposed to do together.

Well, this possibly-ill-adjusted-family-of-five-with-a-spirited-toddler DOES NOT play board games together. Or, let me say, we try to avoid playing board games together.

So, should you be so inclined to give us one, let me tell you what is likely to happen to it: a) it will be regifted, b) it will be opened and played with piecemeal, or c) it will never, ever be opened and instead will spend its life wrapped in plastic under the bed along with the suitcases that will also never see the light of day.

But, from time to time, we do get all crazy and have a little ending in disaster friendly competition. And, when we do, we enjoy the following in no particular order.

Barrel of Monkeys. Costs $5 at Target and leads to endless fun, even though #2 cheats like a mofo.

Battleship. I school #1 in this game. I make it a point to sink his battleships before he sinks mine; you know, to teach him a little bit about strategizing. I don't believe in letting kids win; you gotta earn it around here, Pal.

Chutes and Ladders. Another one in which #2 cheats like a pro, and as long as he's winning and you refrain from calling his cheating bluff, it's all good. Start making accusations and someone gets hurt. I mean, that's just not fun, but somehow I get suckered into this bullcrap at least once a month. I've started hiding the stupid game so he can't insist we let him beat us in it play it with him.

Happy shopping!