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Friday, August 28, 2009

School is Cool?

I know how you enjoy my poetry (not!) so...Enjoy!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You know what I think?
That I just might hate school.

I thought when it started
that it would be great.
I had no idea,
it'd be something I hate.

I'm all for learning.
I'm all for fun.
But so far this year,
I've seen neither one.

But you know what I have seen?
Lots of crying which stinks.
And, if this crap doesn't stop
it may drive me to drink.

In the morning it's fine,
when the bus pulls away.
But, the crap hits the fan
at the end of the day.

Everyone's spent,
at the end of the wire.
And, these kids, they go nuts,
like their pants are on fire.

They fight, they complain,
they whine and they fuss.
And it takes every fiber,
for me not to cuss.

I'm hoping next week
when the routine is set,
that they'll settle down to,
that they won't need to fret.

But, here is my warning,
my disclaimer let's say.
If they don't get it together
there will be Hell to pay.

So, basically, we had a tough first week back at school.

#1 enjoyed it, but spent every afternoon in a exhausted tizzy, barely able to focus on his plethora of homework (seriously, what kind of an evil genius gives a mom second grader a project to do the very first week of school?), adjust to his new schedule, and have the energy for his after school activities (I'm certain that our community is made up of a secret society of evil masterminds who orchestrated a plot to kill all of the "normal" people by making school and soccer start the exact same week).

#2 and #3 spent the week in big brother withdraw (with tremors and all). The first day, #3 actually spent the first four hours crying, followed by a two hour nap, which he followed with additional crying. Awesome!

#2 spent his free time plotting hideous things he could do to Brother(the only name he ever calls #1) the moment he stepped off the school bus. You know, to punish him for abandoning him in the name of education.

See? It's been a VERY long week.

And, to top it all off, I discovered yesterday that my mother-effing-son-of-a-biscuit-piece-of-crap-dirty-rotten-scoundrel of a refridgerator/freezer has decided that keeping things cold and/or frozen is no longer a priority. So, instead of healthily frozen meat and adequately chilled dairy products, it will instead be offering eat-me-and-die options at room temperature from here on out.

Yep, that's right. My less than five years old, stainless steel, side-by-side, water and ice in door, fancy-pantsy-do-a-dancey, WHIRLPOOL fridge/freezer unit is on the fritz.

Less than two days after I go to the grocery store and fill it with all sorts of overpriced goodies, the effing bastard from the depths of Hell decides to up and break, forcing me to relocate all of my perishables to the kindly working fridge of my (lucky for me) willing neighbor and friend.

Thanks a ton, Mom of Girls, have a string cheese on us.

No word on when the no-ice-ice-box will be up and running again, the service man couldn't be bothered to ring me back yet.



MammaMania said...

THE FUNNIEST POEM EVER! And I am having the same week. WTH?!

Tammy Howard said...

School doesn't start for us till Wednesday...

Awesome poem, sorry about the sentiment, though...

Barely Domestic Mama said...

LOVED your poem! I'm still giggling. Maybe they'll be better next week. If not I'd hop on over to Mimi's for some help and a break. :)

So sorry to hear about your Whirlpool of only 5 years crapping out on you. I've been hoping that our boring fridge no bells or whistles (that came complete with the house - score!) would take a dive the last three just won't die. I long for a fridge with a built-in ice-maker. Here's hoping the service guy gets back to you soon.

Lolli said...

What an accurate description of the first week of school! I am so sorry about your fridge. That really stinks! Hopefully the service guy will get over there before it REALLY starts to stink.

TubOfLard said...

I can't believe how grown up #1 looks in that picture. And I can't belive he's in second grade. Time flies. Man, you're old!

Laura said...

The bad news is that you are forced to eat more than your share of canned foods now that your fancy pantsy refrige took a nose dive. The good new is...those boys are soooooo darn cute. Sorry about the first week of school. It's Friday. Erase the memories with fried food.

Lee said...

Love that poem and just wait till third grade! We (I mean Sassy Gal) had an hour of homework every night!

Tanya said...

I'm sensing lots of refrusteration about your refrigerator!! And yes, 3rd grade is where the teachers decide the kids need more "responsibility" (homework). It's an overwhelming transition, be prepared for frequent meltdowns!

Jennifer said...

It is wrong to say that I'm so glad I'm not living your life this week. Because I am.

I'm Just Sayin' - Kerri said...

I LAUGHED OUT LOUD reading your choice words about you fridge. Too funny. I feel your pain.

Munoz Monkies said...

Okay, my friend, you are a crack up, but you probably already knew that. Sorry for having a belly laugh at your expense but you made my morning.

Anonymous said...

So no margaritas? After a week like that? That fridge needs to be shot.

ck said...

That SUCKS. I bet the grocery stores and Whirlpool are in on some kind of a scam together. Shame us with how much we spend on a weekly basis and then break down so we have to do it again. Bastards!

Merry Mack said...

Great poem! I am sorry everyone had a rough week. We survived it here, but just barely. I gave my students a project on the first week. I hope I am not being cussed in someone's home. Maybe I am. Oh well. Maybe next year they all need a trial run the week before. Instead of my little one being cranky with exhaustion, it is me. I need an attitude adjustment everyday so far. Hang in there. Next week will be better!

Oh, and the fridge! That stinks. I hope that guys gets back to you, pronto!

Anonymous said...

This is funny (I can afford to laugh as I'm not the one living it). Loved the poem, loved the descriptions. :)

Hopefully things will be better for you next week.

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