They Just don't Make Anything Like They Used To

Posts like this always make me feel old.

Reflecting on how much things have changed since I was romping around the playground in my pigtails and my Payless saddle shoes makes me realize that I've been me for like 30 years (a little more, but close enough).

While I still rock the pigtails from time to time (too scared to cut my hair, it's like my comfort object, ya know?!), I have long ago retired the saddle shoes (only b/c they apparently aren't available in size grown up), and reflecting on the way things were reminds me that I'm getting old.

So, when Mama Kat posted this week's assignment, I figured now is as good of a time as ever to blast to the past and reminiscence about the good (and not so good) 'ole days.

Top 5 Things they Don't Make Like They Used to:



1. Windows. Go ahead. Kick me. I finally caved to that pesky window guy (well, actually not that particular one, it was another, equally pesky company that won me over) and got my free-good-for-a-full-year-no-obligation-to-buy-but-you-will-so-want-to estimate. And, guess what? I'm getting new windows! Eleven fancy-schmansy-open-from-the-top-can-not-be-broken-no-need-to-be-cleaned-titanium-thick-and-don't-forget-energy-efficient windows! So. Freakin'. Excited! Because, we seriously need them. We live in an older (not super old, but like mid 90s old) house with wooden everything. It's some style thing with the neighborhood to keep a "natural look and feel". So, our windows are the cheapo, builder installed, entirely wooden dealys. And, when it gets hot, they fog up. When it gets cold, they fog up. When it rains, or snows, or gets foggy...that's right, they fog up. And, when it rains, it is so noisy in here you can barely watch television. So, when the silver tongued salesman came over with his sashes and his samples and his price comparisons, we were easily sold, and jumped on the estimate that was literally half of what it was 2 years ago. Hooray recession! So, out with the old, crappy, windows of the past, and in with the tax credit qualifying, energy saving, windows of today.

2. Fun sized candies. Not sure if I've just gotten so much larger or what, but these fun sized candies are anything but fun these days. They used to be big enough for a happy little treat if they somehow (thanks mom) got snuck into my lunch bag. Might even share a couple with the BFF. Nowadays, they are only enough to tick me off and make me want to grab at least 2 or 3 more packs. And, if the BFF even looks at my M&Ms she's getting kicked. That is not my idea of fun. Fun would be if they crammed about 15 more M&Ms in that little bag and somehow made them equal the same amount of calories. Now that would be fun!

3. Cartoons. This could be taken as a good change or a not so good change, I'll let you decide. But, does anyone recall that Bugs Bunny used to be a foul mouthed, racially insensitive, verbally abusive, jackrabbit with a nicotine addiction? But, he was funny, right?! And, it was cool back then. Smoking was cool. Saying nasty words was cool (still kinda is, I think). And, using some choice racial slurs, cool. Cartoon characters used to get away with all types of stuff that we would be appalled to see our kids watching today. Not sure why it changed so much, but it did. So, now we are stuck with crap shows like Oswald, the slowest moving octopus on the planet. Or, those weird foreign cartoons where the character have the really huge eyes and shout everything.



So, as annoying as these animated little bastards were (see video), I'd take them over the Wiggles any day!

4. Burger King Value Meals. WTH happened at Burger King? Am I the only one who is ticked off about their menu changes? Somewhere along the line, they decided to raise their prices on everything and give you super sized everything to justify it. Did they not see Supersize Me? Now when you go there and order the regular, medium sized, value meal they give you what used to be a large and charge you like $15 for it! Seriously, I don't need 900 calories worth of french fries, and I don't want to pay the same price for them as I would at TGI Fridays (where the food sucks too, but at least they have happy hour. Everything tastes better with a margarita chaser!). The last time the whole family went to that crap hole, it cost us $30! We are a family of four and a half. It shouldn't cost us $30 to eat at Burger King. And, it doesn't make me feel better that they gave me enough food to feed 8 people. In my opinion, they have always sucked, not they just suck WAY more.

5. Playgrounds. I know they think that by removing the metal slides, merry go rounds, and teeter totters they have saved countless children from injury and/or death.



But, I'd like to posit that the new age plastic equipment is not as safe as they'd like to pretend it is. I have empirical evidence, first hand experience with these plastic play lands, and let me tell you, they can be every bit as dangerous as the fire hot, injury producing play grounds of the past (you may argue that my age and increased body mass is a contributing factor here, but I will say that it is not). I can not say enough, however, about the plastic mulch stuff they use. That stuff is what miracles are made of.

And, a bonus one, since we need to get to this week's Thursday Thank You, let's take a look at meat.

From what I hear, meat has changed dramatically, and there are people dying to come to my house, have a sit down with Hubby and me, and spend at least an hour telling me why.

I'm gonna go ahead and pass.

Thank you, and you're welcome (Today's card courtesy of Duck Duck Goose Designs and will be featured on Saturday, so check back for more then!).





Card Reads: Dear Door-to-door Meat Salesman, Thank you for calling my house at least 6 times this week. I was hoping that when I failed to return your calls, you would get the hint. Sadly, you did not, and now I am forced to spell it out for you: I am all caught up on meat. As a matter of fact, you could say I'm a semi-pro meat eater of sorts, as I've been trained by a master (Hubby). I know where it comes from (fat, smelly, slow looking creature), and I know where is goes (the toilet). I even know a bit about all the hormones beef gets, and that sometimes cows are born with like 6 heads, and what not. Got it. Guess, what. Don't care! I don't need you to bring a side of bloody beef to my house and wave it under my nose to convince me to go with your all natural, farm raised, highly expensive (checked your website), home delivered meats. I get that yours are better, but I'm not ready to invest in something like this. When I am, I'll let you know. Until then, Costco is fine for me. It's a recession, dude. Stop calling. XOXO, Dumb Mom

P.S. I actually do care about meat hormones, and I try to make healthy choice for the dudes and for me, but you know, sometimes I gotta get gangsta like this so they will back up off me. Those sales people are RELENTLESS!