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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It's Over, Sniff, Sniff

Holy Canadian accents, Batman!

Whew! Had to get that offa my chest 'cause the first part of the show it was all I could hear.

I have this strange compulsion to copy accents when I hear them, so there I sat on my couch, feeding #3 mandarin oranges, and pretending I was a Canadian interior decorator named Jill (which is basically what I've done every Monday night for the past 8 weeks!).

Now, before we go any further, if you are some totally undedicated, half-ass Bachelorette viewer who Tivoed the show and haven't gotten around to watching it yet, this is your spoiler alert (even though you don't really deserve one). Turn back now if you are like me and appreciate the surprise of it all.

First of all, I hate Jillian.

Okay, maybe hate is a strong word, but seriously, I fell in love with Kip at the beginning of this episode (I know, late, but better late than never) so why didn't she? He was so cute and sweet and HOT!

Ed. Eww. Ed makes me gag.

The moment Reid jumped outta that Taxi (where was his limo btw, and could he not have like gotten a little dressed up for the occasion?), I thought, YES! There is hope! Hope that it's not Ed. Hope that the person making her happy who she spoke of on the "Men Tell All" episode wasn't Ed.

But, alas, it was not to be.

She didn't pick Reid.

She picked Ed.

I picked Kip. And then I picked Reid. But, she picked Ed?


Glad Reid didn't waste his best gear for this crap.

I'm so not looking forward to watching Ed put his girly hands all over her at the After the Final Rose show.

Funny thing is that she (like all of her predecessors) didn't seem 100% on her final decision.

And, if I'm Ed, I'm concerned.

Concerned that Kip or Reid might swoop in on my lady (since they are allowed to come back any time, even if they didn't get a rose, no questions asked) in a couple of weeks when we are back in the real world pretending like it wasn't the helicopters, the exotic locations, and the never ending supply of fine wine that made us "love" each other. The world in which I'm an unemployed, short-short wearer who has the pleasure of being known as mister-can't-get-it-up guy.

Not that Ed is horrible, I mean, he's alright I guess. He just didn't wow me, ya know? I wasn't all smiley when he was on the screen, the way I was for Kip, and Reid, and Michael, and Jesse, and possibly a couple others who went home weeks ago (I know, I'm easy!).

And, I'm not madly in love with him, the way I should be, since it's all about who I love and would choose to spend the rest of my life with if I were given 30 hot, totally into me (except that one winner, aka Wes), guys from which to choose.

Never mind Jillian. Jillian who?

Seriously, though, I do feel a little bad for Ed because he got the most used Bachelorette dress in history.

Jillian spent all day sweating, and crying, and cuddling with other guys in that thing.

Plus, not sure about you, but I felt like my happy tears were exhausted by all the sad tears I had to shed on the two other (better) guys before Ed. This is like the first Bachelor/Bachelorette (except for Womack, who you really can't even count 'cause he sucked) that I didn't cry during the proposal/end thing.

I mean, she totally gave it away as soon as she saw him anyway with her big cheesy smile.

I'm curious how much time elapses between the departure of one guy and the arrival of the next? She looked very over it when Ed showed up, and I find it hard to believe that she was able to pull it together and wipe the runny make-up stains offa her face so quickly.

Even though I think she made the wrong choice (maybe not for her, but certainly for me), I hope to see her and Ed looking normal and happy on tomorrow's show; I'm a hopeless romantic like that.

Although, it would be nice if she pulled a Mesnick, and dumped him for Kip, or Reid, or Michael, or Jesse... Kidding!

It would only be cool if she dumped him for Reid. Anyone else would just be mean:)

P.S. In case you are wondering, while I do take my stalking pretty seriously, I didn't take the above photo of the two love birds. I try to refrain from stalking in real life, unless absolutely necessary, and stick almost entirely to online, cyber-stalking. The photo is courtesy of ABC, just so you know.


Kathy B! said...

You do the best bachelorette recaps! Love 'em : )

So... how long until the next one?!

TubOfLard said...

I would have totally picked Kiptyn. Hot, nice, hot. And he looks like he can put it down.

Ed proved that he may choke.

Ed lost his appeal when he put his career aside (or got fired)to come back. He got all dorky. But maybe we didn't see how much of a dork he was before because he didn't get that much air time. And I hate his little green shorts.

Can't wait to see them together *cue Canadian accent* again tonight.

Lee said...

I agree! We all knew Reid was coming back. Then she said she had to be sad before she could be happy and out walks kipton, so we knew he was gone.
She should have gone off with reid and left and then Ed would have come out and had no one standing there! That was the vote for my house.
She wasn't very convincing on her I'm so in Love with Ed thing either.
Maybe with some fashion advice he'll look better??

Alicia said...

i'm soooo over it! i don't even like jillian! i'm glad kip and reid didn't end up with her, they can do WAY better!

Lisa Anne said...

I don't watch the show, but I they were talking about it on the radio and it's funny how she picked the nerdy guy (again never seen the show just going off what the radio said) who couldn't "get it up" over the cute guy.

Life works in strange ways. To each his own.

It's always sad when your show ends. I can't wait for Greys Anatomy to start Sept 24th. I'm so there in front of my TV, popcorn in hand.

Amethyst Moon said...

I confess I'm not a bachelorette watcher, but I must also confess that I am a accent afficianado, which does not mean I'm good at it, but I do feel the need to copy accents when I hear them, and, yes even when I read them. I'm the girl in the corner reading a book while mouthing the accented words. Thanks for sahring :0)

I'm Just Sayin' - Kerri said...

I can't lie... I picked Ed from day 1 and still love him! I was totally thrilled she picked him in the end. I hope they are happy.

As for Reid, come on, those shoes, the not tucked in shirt? He should have at least tried harder if he was really hoping to win her back!

Anonymous said...

Commenting from up here in the great white north - we have accents??? Are you sure???? LOL!!

BlogBaby said...

Kip is hot, that's true but don't you believe in magic girl??

Sometimes a guy can be exactly what you're looking for and still not be the right guy and sometimes Mr. Right comes out of left field wearing his short shorts with small man boobs and a hairy chest and redefines what you're looking for.

Plus I LOVE ME an underdog! Ed, would totally have been my guy too.

BlogBaby's BabyMama

Oh and for the record, I don't have to fake my cool Canadian Accent since I am in fact a cool Canadian. Can you see me doing my cool Canada dance?? Trust me, it's HOT.

blueviolet said...

I'm so glad you mentioned the short shorts because I really had a problem with that. Perhaps if he was wearing larger, roomier shorts there never would have been a performance problem.

Kelly said...

Okay, so I miss the "after the rose" show tonight, please fill me/us in on how it went!!!!

And I agree, Ed...come on, really? Kip OH YES, even Reid...but Ed?

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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