It's Over, Sniff, Sniff

Holy Canadian accents, Batman!

Whew! Had to get that offa my chest 'cause the first part of the show it was all I could hear.

I have this strange compulsion to copy accents when I hear them, so there I sat on my couch, feeding #3 mandarin oranges, and pretending I was a Canadian interior decorator named Jill (which is basically what I've done every Monday night for the past 8 weeks!).

Now, before we go any further, if you are some totally undedicated, half-ass Bachelorette viewer who Tivoed the show and haven't gotten around to watching it yet, this is your spoiler alert (even though you don't really deserve one). Turn back now if you are like me and appreciate the surprise of it all.

First of all, I hate Jillian.

Okay, maybe hate is a strong word, but seriously, I fell in love with Kip at the beginning of this episode (I know, late, but better late than never) so why didn't she? He was so cute and sweet and HOT!

Ed. Eww. Ed makes me gag.

The moment Reid jumped outta that Taxi (where was his limo btw, and could he not have like gotten a little dressed up for the occasion?), I thought, YES! There is hope! Hope that it's not Ed. Hope that the person making her happy who she spoke of on the "Men Tell All" episode wasn't Ed.

But, alas, it was not to be.

She didn't pick Reid.

She picked Ed.

I picked Kip. And then I picked Reid. But, she picked Ed?

Why?! WHY?! WHHHHYYYY?!?!

Glad Reid didn't waste his best gear for this crap.

I'm so not looking forward to watching Ed put his girly hands all over her at the After the Final Rose show.

Funny thing is that she (like all of her predecessors) didn't seem 100% on her final decision.

And, if I'm Ed, I'm concerned.

Concerned that Kip or Reid might swoop in on my lady (since they are allowed to come back any time, even if they didn't get a rose, no questions asked) in a couple of weeks when we are back in the real world pretending like it wasn't the helicopters, the exotic locations, and the never ending supply of fine wine that made us "love" each other. The world in which I'm an unemployed, short-short wearer who has the pleasure of being known as mister-can't-get-it-up guy.

Not that Ed is horrible, I mean, he's alright I guess. He just didn't wow me, ya know? I wasn't all smiley when he was on the screen, the way I was for Kip, and Reid, and Michael, and Jesse, and possibly a couple others who went home weeks ago (I know, I'm easy!).

And, I'm not madly in love with him, the way I should be, since it's all about who I love and would choose to spend the rest of my life with if I were given 30 hot, totally into me (except that one winner, aka Wes), guys from which to choose.

Never mind Jillian. Jillian who?

Seriously, though, I do feel a little bad for Ed because he got the most used Bachelorette dress in history.

Jillian spent all day sweating, and crying, and cuddling with other guys in that thing.

Plus, not sure about you, but I felt like my happy tears were exhausted by all the sad tears I had to shed on the two other (better) guys before Ed. This is like the first Bachelor/Bachelorette (except for Womack, who you really can't even count 'cause he sucked) that I didn't cry during the proposal/end thing.

I mean, she totally gave it away as soon as she saw him anyway with her big cheesy smile.

I'm curious how much time elapses between the departure of one guy and the arrival of the next? She looked very over it when Ed showed up, and I find it hard to believe that she was able to pull it together and wipe the runny make-up stains offa her face so quickly.

Even though I think she made the wrong choice (maybe not for her, but certainly for me), I hope to see her and Ed looking normal and happy on tomorrow's show; I'm a hopeless romantic like that.

Although, it would be nice if she pulled a Mesnick, and dumped him for Kip, or Reid, or Michael, or Jesse... Kidding!

It would only be cool if she dumped him for Reid. Anyone else would just be mean:)



P.S. In case you are wondering, while I do take my stalking pretty seriously, I didn't take the above photo of the two love birds. I try to refrain from stalking in real life, unless absolutely necessary, and stick almost entirely to online, cyber-stalking. The photo is courtesy of ABC, just so you know.