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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I'm on a Roll

I know the month isn't quite over yet, but might as well post this now before the list gets outta hand

10 Dumb Things I Did this Month

1. Forgot #3's shoes when we went to the park. When we arrived I considered letting him run around with just one shoe (b/c somehow there was one in the car). I thought I could pretend that he had lost it at the park. But, then my mommy conscious (damn that thing) kicked in, and off to Kmart (quite possibly the worst store on the planet) we went.

2. To remedy the above, I purchased a pair of Spiderman adorned water shoes. Why water shoes, you ask? Because #3 has two pairs of sneakers, a pair of leather sandals, and a pair of casual sandals. Basically, he doesn't need shoes. So, water shoes it was; never mind that water shoes aren't exactly appropriate for park play.

3. Spent the better part of an hour chasing behind one-shoed #3 while waving a cast off water shoe in the air. Well played, #3. Well played.

4. Decided to change diaper bags (note: I use that term loosely to refer to huge purse that has a ton of crap in it, including diapers, wipes, and child friendly snacks). So, very proud of the $4 Target purse that was huge and cute and sturdy. Sadly, upon arriving to the park for a play, I realized that I had forgotten the key ingredient that turns the bag from a purse into a diaper bag. You know. The frickin' diapers! #3 pleasured us all by droppin' a dewey about 30 minutes after our arrival. Perfectly timed as always because it was too much time to let his sensitive heiney stew in it, but too little time to allow for me to run to the store, purchase supplies, and still make it back to #2's preschool in time to avoid being fined, ridiculed, and embarrassed. #3 received his first lesson in free ballin'. I think he quite enjoyed it.

5. Forgot to reset the TiVo after some stupid software download deleted all of my season passes. Yes, I missed the Bachelorette, So You Think You Can Dance, NJ Housewives; every single show that keeps me sane.

6. Drove #1 75% of the way to karate. Glanced in the rear view mirror and noted that the silly boy was wearing shin guards to hi... Drat! Abort! Abort! You are going the wrong way, Dummy! Luckily my lead foot prevented him from being late, but this is ridiculous. What was that, like the third time?

7. Engaged #2 in a battle of wills. He wanted to have macaroni and cheese, tater tots, and mashed potatoes for dinner (a starch lover after my own heart). I said, "No, Sir!". He sat (fidgety, but in chair), until I could wait no more, or risk #1 being late for soccer (or, was it karate?). Tater tots and macaroni, but absolutely no mashed potatoes.

8. Told a joke to some little girls at a photo shoot. I am funny, but I do not do jokes. Parents gave me a sympathy laugh that I'm pretty sure made me feel even worse and more awkward.

9. Tried my hand at some sort of weight loss supplement BFF recommended to me. It works! But, anything that gives you a deadly case of the mud butt, is probably also going to ruin your appetite and destroy any inclination you have to eat, thereby causing you to lose weight. What a handy little side effect.

10. Spent one, single moment, crying, whining, and complaining about my lot in life. It has it's sucky moments, but I would not change it for the world (unless the world were made out of chocolate, and then I'd have to seriously consider it!)

And, almost forgot: Beth Parker from Crafts Crazy is our Monkey Thank You Giveaway Winner. Feel free to stop by and say congrats!


ck said...

#4...seriously brave.

I did that once and MacGyvered a diaper out of a disposable place mat and some other crap from the bottom of my "diaper bag."

We'll just say that the car seat needed emergency care after that...

SmartPumpkin'sMom said...

Just another day at Mom's office.LOL! You are seriously funny!

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

Awwww... I know it sucked while it was happening, but it's kinda funny now... or at least it will be by the time they're off to college... Just know that we ALL have those days, which means you're no different from anyone else... you're just a mom!

I hope today is better.

TubOfLard said...

Hey, I actually thought that joke you told was funny! Not really saying much though huh?

the BFF

parentingBYdummies said...

Thanks BFF. Although what you may have actually found funny was their reaction. But, that's okay, I'm used to people getting their laughs at my expense:)

Mira said...

Wow, that is quite a month, or quite a few days at least. The carrying of diaper bag sans diapers is one I am familiar with. I just assume they're in there, forgetting I used them up last time. Makes you feel brilliant don't it?

Shari@aPsychMommy said...

So now you are goign to have to take #3 to the beach or wherever you use water shoes at to justify your purchase even further!

And I agree with CK--you are very brave.

TKW said...

I'm laughing at the FreeBallin'. I am spacey as crap about the diaper bag supplies, so I do know your pain.

KnitterMama said...

I think we have the same diaper bag! Ad the same life. :)

Anonymous said...

LOL Loved #3. Been there, done that with #4. Check online for your favorite shows for #5. I know the bachlorette is online.

Kristin said...

I've definitely had to send the hubs to the drugstore while we were at a restaurant cuz I forgot the freakin' diapers.

Alicia said...

I love your life!! Its so fun!! We seriously need to get our kids together, that would be hilarious! Are you going to SITScation? My man just said I can go!

Connie Weiss said...

Oh my gosh! That was funny!

Hello to my fellow partner in crime at SITScation!

Off to follow you on twitter and subscribe!

Connie Weiss said...

By the way...I do a Bachelorette Recap every week. If you need to catch up.

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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