Kidz Bop 1,565

Let's have a little talk about Kidz Bop, the never ending series of songs sung by kids for kids.

I'm sure you have all seen these commercials on TV, particularly on child centered stations like Nick and the Disney Channel, and have possibly considered ordering up a copy for your kiddos.

Well, before you do, please take a moment to read my, unsolicited, review.

They did not contact me and ask me to review the product. They did not pay me or offer me any type of compensation.

I am doing this one outta the goodness of my own heart. You'll thank me later:)

If you are interested in experiencing the crazy that is Kidz Bop you can do so for free (or for about $3.69, the cost of a Happy Meal) by taking your younguns to Mickey D's. But, if you'd like to save yourself the bloody ears and mental anguish, go to Burger King instead until they run out of these mini weapons of mass destruction.

What makes Kidz Bop so unbearable?

It's not the musical selections, because honestly they are the same exact tunes you can hear by tuning into your local pop/hip hop/R&B radio station (with a few omissions and substitutions that make the songs slightly more kid friendly).

What sucks about the Kidz Bop renditions is that they are sung by some sub par, remotely talented adult singer who, in some cases, slaughters the original song, while some vaguely talented fifth grade girls (and perhaps boys since they all have those whiny, high pitched voices anyway) scream along in the background.

I just don't get what makes these things so special or worth the $18.98 (really, $20 for this crap?) to replicate a situation that I get on a daily basis for free. Replace sub par, remotely talented adult singer with me (who on a good day sounds an awful lot like Beyonce. Seriously, ask #2), and substitute the set of vaguely talented fifth graders with my three dudes, who may not always get the words right (or even close), but have the velvetiest voices I've ever heard coming from a little boy, and there you have it, Kidz Bop.

I'm sure you have a similar set up at your house, so why go out and buy an overly priced CD of wack singers? Making your own Kidz Bop is way more fun anyway, and at least you get to sing along to the true artist (who may or may not be any more talented than the Kidz Bop singers, but at least they have street cred).

But, that's just me. The dudes opinion on Kidz Bop is split, I'd say.

First, #1, who is Mr. Pop Culture all of a sudden, was ecstatic to receive a Kidz Bop CD along with his nuggets and fries. He said, and I quote, "I ALWAYS WANTED A KIDZ BOP CD!" Really? 'Cause you never mentioned it. I played it for him and he proceeded to mumble along with each song while bobbing his head with commitment and vigor. Think he was trying to convince himself as much as me that he was enjoying the crap. At this point, I could honestly not tell the difference between the real Rihanna and the Kidz Bop version since the crowd (aka #1) participation was so intense. Let's consider this a vote in favor of Kidz Bop.

Second, #2, acted thrilled to pieces as an imitation of #1's drama (since his official title around here is Mr. Echo for his lack of originality). He enjoyed Rockstar, the Shrek song, for about two minutes, then asked me to switch it. During Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (which I must admit, I thoroughly enjoyed), he informed me, and again, I quote, that the song was "killing" him. Not sure if he was referring to the actual music or my bleating over it. In any case, he was asking to go back to the radio in approximately 3 and a half minutes. Against. Definitely, against Kidz Bop.

Finally, #3, sang (or his version of it) through about two songs, which he does regardless of the genre, artist, or song choice. He then fell asleep about half way through the third track which is also par for the course. The only song that he enjoys enough to stay awake for is the Backyardigans theme song. Once I put it on, he requires that I repeat it endlessly until we reach our destination. Being that it's running time is only about 45 seconds, it makes for an excruciatingly long trip to preschool during which we listen to it about 68 times. I hate that song. As far as Kidz Bop goes, I'm calling him a toss up, no screaming to make it end, no asking repeatedly for me to play it repeatedly.

And there you have it.

Kidz Bop in a nutshell.

Basically, if you would consider listening to the Imagination Movers sing Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls a form of psychological torture (as I do), then this is not the CD for you.

Try Mary Had a Little Amp, Jazz for Kids, or the Johnny Cash Children's Album (such a funny album, and #2 LOVES JC) instead.