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Friday, May 1, 2009

Swagger *Addendum

We need to have a brief discussion about the over usage of the word swagger.

I’m sad to report that swagger has begun to go the way of other, once acceptable, terms like da bomb and tight. Sad because it truly had promise, but once certain members of society got a hold of it, they ruined it by using it to death and often incorrectly.

I think the main problem is that many people are confused about the true meaning of the word swagger.

Swagger, friends, is more than just an adjective, it is a personality trait, an undeniable element of ones persona, a way of life. Apparently, those with swagger hop up out the bed, and turn it on immediately (thank you Soulja Boy. Caution! This links to a ludicrous video that embodies the true essence of swagger, proceed with caution, you will be ashamed to get caught watching this crap, but I had to make a point!). You do not happen upon it accidentally, or attempt to channel it for the sake of one American Idol performance. You do not invoke swagger when you take a lucky game winning shot that you, to the surprise of yourself and all watching, happen to make. Swagger can not be encouraged, requested, or inspired; it’s kinda like sexy, you either have it, or you do not.

According to the Urban Dictionary, swagger is to move with confidence, sophistication; to be cool. Swagger is to conduct your self in a way that would automatically earn respect.

Operating with that definition I’d like to take this opportunity to provide all of the Ryan Secrests, Kara Dioguardis, Simon Cowells (seriously, Simon Cowell?), misguided sports announcers, trying to be cool newscasters, and failing reality show hosts with viable alternatives to the word swagger. Because, sadly, you have taken a perfectly viable word and turned into a never-to-be-spoken-by-any-true-swagger-owners cliché.

Instead of swagger please consider:
Could go on for days, but I think you get the picture

Any of these terms could easily work in place of swagger. I would greatly appreciate if you would consider these descriptive words before using swagger to describe someone so that we may save what little street cred that is left of this word.

Thank you, Feamom for bring this bull crap to my attention (not a huge CNN fan previously and at this point I think I fully reject them, I joine Ashton, for the record).

This (another hideously embarrassing clip that I caution you against viewing) is the exact kinda crap that has GOT. TO. STOP.

Not that Obama is not a good example of swagger, it's that it doesn't matter.

Swagger/Swagga/Swag, however you want to say have all officially jumped the effing shark.

If I ever hear that word again, it will be too soon.

And, as a side note, how the hell did T.J. Holmes qualify as a swagger expert? He appears to have less swagger than my 4 year old.

Actually, my 4 year old is a darn good example of swagger. So, let me rephrase, he has less swagger than my pleasant, compliant, self deprecating, eager to please 7 year old.

So give me an effing break.

Swagger expert?!


Erica said...

Well said, very enlightening and educational. And for real i was smiling the whole time i read it even read it to my husband

Anonymous said...

I'm assuming you saw that piece on (was it) CNN. Have I told you how much I like the new banner? The boys are so cute.

Shawn said...

Heh. Now that post was just swag (said in a Kara Dioguardo voice) Bwahahahaha!

Loving the new header. ;o)

Anonymous said...

I was shopping around for a new-ish, kinda old word. Is that "fresh" for sale?

Anonymous said...

My 7th and 8th graders use that word all the time in class...only they spell it "Swagga"'s like totally awesome! NOT! (See what I did there, I brought back the 90s talk! :) )

dianne.self said...

Pleeseee, don't get me started cause I can throw out a few old (old,old,old) school's like "Bitchin", "Boss" and "Out-a-Sight". Oops, wrong post, thought I was on the geriatric page, sorry.

Jen@born2impress said...

Hi there.
I'm following you from the MBC Under 100 Club. I look forward to reading more!
Have a great day:)

Mom's Fortress of Solitude said...

Thanks for commenting on the giveaways!

I love this post, btw. The English language seems to be going to Hell-O! I'm always correcting my children who have so generously bestowed upon me the title, "Grammar Queen."

Not that I don't make my share of mistakes, but I sincerely cringe each time I hear misused words and out-of-context phrasing. BLECH!

It's nice to know that someone else out there supports the need to keep our mother language alive.

Alicia said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!! This was good and well needed THANKS!


Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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