Facebook, Part Deux

Many of you commented on my previous Facebook post so you are familiar with some of the "issues" (or should I say issue) I have with this social networking giant.

Well, due to the fact that I have a very uneventful real time life, I have spent enough time on FB lately to develop another issue with it. Again, the issue is not FB, itself. It is the annoying FB junkies (not me, other people, of course) that I can't tolerate.

FB junkies are those people who are obsessed with updating FB. And, they are obviously delusional about the fact that any of their "friends" (who only friended them in the first place to gloat in their own awesomeness) even care that they are heading to the gym (skinny biotch), sitting in traffic (boring), or partying it up at happy hour "woot" (Really? Again? What is that, like your fifth happy hour this week? Excessive, don'tcha think? And, seriously, please stop saying woot. Five happy hours in five days is not a reason to woot, it's a reason to seek help. And, most importantly you are driving me effing bananas.).

It's not the existence of updates, I mean I love them because they eliminate the need to call that hey-girl-it's-been-awhile-lets-talk-about-me-for-the-next-two-hours friend who spends the first hour of the conversation talking about how the people she knows suck, and the next hour talking about how awesome she is.

It's the redundancy. If you spent Monday night, Tuesday night, and Thursday night at a bar, chances are (no, no, let me guess) you will spend Friday night at the bar, too.

And, if you are studying and napping every weekend for the past three months, I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and say we could do without the constant updates saying you are gonna be spending this weekend studying and napping as well. And, honestly telling me that you are napping is not only boring, I also get the impression you are trying to rub it in my face that I have not caught a midday nap for at least 8 years (maybe I'm just being sensitive, here).

Now, if I post on my wall that I'm going to be at the local watering hole getting a coupla drinks this Friday, you all should reply immediately for time and place, because it's a rare occurrence, and you might want to be there to experience the freak show that is me when I mix alcohol, with music and dancing.

But, imagine if I posted 4 to 6 times per day that I am changing a dirty diaper or doing laundry (actually, this is a rare occurrence so it might be interesting).

Might get a little ridiculous. Might you think, of course she's changing diapers and doing house work, she's a stay at home mom, that's what she does?

Then don't be surprised that I'm over here thinking, of course she's at the bar, she's a drunk, that's what she does.

Or, she's working out? No surprise there, she's an anorexic hussy, that's what she does.

Or, studying and sleeping? Again? She's a lazy idiot, and has to study to exhaustion to pull a C, duh (okay, she's not lazy).

So please, people, spare us the useless updates. I'm getting sick of seeing your face on my homepage. I can't even see what my more interesting connections are up to, because your useless updates totally Bogart the space so that when my update-a-reasonable-amount friends post something, it's gone before I even have a chance to log on and see it.

You over-updaters should really consider Twitter as an outlet for your obsessive compulsive need to share what you are doing every hour of the day.

Yeah, Twitter would be perfect for you. There are tons of others just like you. People like Ashton, who I am honestly about to de-friend because his updates are driving me nutty. I really thought someone with a more exciting life would have more to say than "I try not 2 consume 2 much processed/preserved stuff & avoid fast food" (REally? I love french fries. They make me happy. Way to make me feel like a fat loser) and "grabbing dinner at Geisha House Atlanta" (Wait, was that a shameless plug?), but whatever.

So, yeah, in case you don't know it's www.twitter.com.

Check it out some time.

It's the perfect solution, for all of us:)