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Thursday, May 7, 2009

A baby? For me?

Highly unlikely.

I burned down the factory after #3, so the likelihood that I am gonna get knocked any time soon (or ever) is slim to none.

And, if I do it will be in the face of medical science. Boo Yah!

I know, stranger things have happened, but not to me.

The worst part is that I have actually spent a great deal of time lamenting the fact that I'm not even 31 years old yet (technically, I'm not I still have like 9 more days), and I have already retired my baby making machinery.

When I did it I had enough good reasons to fill a whole years worth of blogs.

These days, I find myself second guessing my original ideas and wishing I had chosen a different path.

But, we all know I'm never wrong (or seldom enough that it feels like never) so let me give you all of the reasons I know I made the right choice (and, no, I am not trying to convince myself as much as I am you).

Top ten reasons I'm happy (not happy, per se, but moving towards acceptance) that I can't have any more babies.

10. Transportation issues. Right now, my three dudes and their car/booster seats fit perfectly along the back seat of our Pilot. No need to break out a sweat, and a few choice curse words, in order to employ the third row of seats. Which, for the record, make the car useful in a pinch, but are not functional on a regular basis because to access the seats you have to put the second row down flat or climb in through the trunk. Putting the second row down is not an option because I am not going to unbuckle and remove the car seats to do it. So, trunk it is. Sorry, BFF, for making you roll unceremoniously in and out of our trunk when we went on our last vacay. And, sorry that once you are in there you are, essentially, sitting in the trunk along with all of the luggage, the cooler, and the stroller. Do you mind making sure the potato salad doesn't spill? Thanks!

9. Supplies. I gave away (or sold at the local consignment store, for a hefty price) all of my maternity clothes and most of my baby gear. Some of it went to Goodwill, but some of it went to various people I know. It's just so tacky to go around and ask for it all back.

8. Our sitter (aka Mimi) is already pushed to the limit. I'm sure she is going to want to start charging us soon. I think adding another kid to the mix would be a free-babysitting-because-I-love-them deal breaker.

7. I'd like to be able to go on a vacation in the foreseeable future. Even one with the kids would be nice since the only overnight trip all three of them have been on thus far is to Mimi's house. I obviously am ill equipped to get the dudes I have on an airplane, adding more would be a definitive disaster. And, even if I could physically and psychologically pull it off (which, just to reiterate I can not), financially, it is out of the question.

6. A dog would be nice. Another realm in which I have a proven track record of failure is pet ownership. We have collectively decided that we need to wait until baby is 3 before we attempt to introduce another four legged friend into our home. So, having another would prolong that date, and since #1 and #2 discuss D-day relentlessly (as if it's not 2 years away since #3 is only 1), I'm not sure I can put them off more than two years, tops.

5. Living space is also a deterrent. We have enough space for three, but four, or five, don't think so.

4. One of my primary motivations for wanting an additional offspring is the hope that I might be blessed with a daughter. My fear is that I could wind up like my grandmother. She had 8 sons. I could not handle 8 of anything, and even four or five sons might put me over the edge.

3. Getting pregnant was stressful, frustrating, and emotionally draining. We had secondary infertility issues (the first time was a breeze since we didn't plan it at all and were as surprised as everyone else). I struggled for a year to get preggers with #2 and #3, and am glad that I don't have to spend a year analyzing every twinge in my body, and buying $15 pregnancy tests.

2. My horribly misshapen belly is already stretched three kids wide. I can't imagine the grotesque state it would be in if I squeezed another almost 9lb baby in there.

1. I made this bed (which despite endless childhood brow beating by Mimi I rarely ever do. Sorry mom.), so I have to lie in it. I should have approached this decision with a clearer head, instead of deciding in the throws of a turbulent pregnancy. I had my doubts at the time. I should have followed my instinct, and not gone through with the procedure. In my defense, there were extenuating circumstances that have since abated that pushed me in the direction of sterilization (such a nasty sounding word). Regardless, this was ultimately my decision and now I have to focus on finding joy in the three overpowering, amazing, silly, fun, sweet, adorable personalities I live with.

Shouldn't be too hard:)

Thanks, Mama Kat for another inspirational topic!


Kat said...

Love your blog! & Your kids are too cute.
My in-laws always tell me about this family that lived near them-
they had 13 kids, Twelve daughters, Then, a son.
Then the woman died.

April said...

I loved the line about it being tacky to ask for all the stuff back. They all seem like good reasons to me.

Anonymous said...

I closed shop too...but I don't regret it. I felt like I should be blessed to have 3 healthy kids and didn't want to push my luck!!! I always figure if I want anymore children, we can adopt! :)

Gibby said...

Our shop is closed, too. (Well, Hubby's is.) I know we made the right decision, and although there are times that I wish the two I do have would still be babies, it doesn't mean that I wish for an additional baby. We are good with the 4 of us. Perfect number for amusement park rides. (Kidding!)

ck said...

Great title! Made me laugh.

The idea of 8 boys...not as funny.

I can't even imagine having one. Luckily that will never be an issue. Also closed for business.

Sapphire said...

Awwww....I hear ya! Our shop is closed too....well, like Gibby, The Hubs shop is closed. And honestly, every milestone makes me both happy and sad. Happy that I'm moving towards a different existence and sad that I'll never be here again.
Aagh!! The conflicts of motherhood!!
Anywhoo, you've inspired me. I'll probably link back to this post in a few days.
I found you from bad mommy moments.

Anonymous said...

I'm having the baby itch. We want three. My husband is itching a lot more than I am right now, because I'm the logical one. I want a girl, and I can handle three boys if I have too, but no more. I'm sure you made the right decision. Now you can always babysit for some friends and give the baby back. I hear that's a great option.

B said...

I totally get where you're coming from, my shop's still open for business but hubs says 'no' so I wish he'd just shut up his shop so I could stop thinking about it! Plus at 38 I'm probably pushing it anyway...Great post :O)

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