Please, just leave (preempted by reason 4,376)

I know they were all thinking this. They had to be.

I was thinking this. Why can't we just leave? Why can't we just get our crap and get out of this forsaken warehouse of beautiful textiles and functional furniture at a price you can't afford to pass up?

We should have known this was going to be a bad day. Who drives an hour on a snowy, wintry day to furniture shop at Ikea with three young, at times despotic, often temperamental dudes?

And here's the dumbest part (because there always is a dumb part with me, isn't there?) when we packed the dudes into the car with their little snacks and their previously selected DVD we were all a buzz with optimistic excitement. We'll have lunch, they'll like that. They can play at the thoughtfully placed children's centers throughout the showroom, they'll like that too. They will have fun, everyone loves Ikea.

Not so much. It's my fault really b/c I tried to drop #1 & #2 off at the Smalland play place. I figured, they are old enough, they can enjoy it together, just for a while. After collecting all of their outerwear in a practical plastic box, filling out a necessarily detailed sign in slip, and waiting 30 minutes, we were cheerily notified that the next group would be leaving in 10 minutes to make room for three more entrants. Hmmm, there are four kids in front of my two. Uggghh! Put your shoes on guys, we're leaving.

This was the beginning of the end. The whining ensued, followed closely by the bickering, and then all out anarchy. We tried to pacify them with food. They hated the mac and cheese. We tried to let them play in Children's Ikea . They broke a tent. We tried letting them take their own notes and measure things. They left pencils and paper askew over every display area.

This was just the older two. #3 started screaming, literally screaming, it's his new thing, at lunch and did not stop until we got on the road to home. He ate about 4 inches of a measuring strip, he unpacked every single item out of his diaper bag, and ate through all of the snacks that we brought (he's a hungry dude).

But, my weren't they angels on the ride home? #2 fell asleep, #3 drank a bottle, and #1 is always a pleasure in the absence of #2. They were overstressed (so was I) so I forgive them. This time.