#1

My oldest son just celebrated is 7th birthday in November 2008. He is a compassionate, joyful, eager to please, intelligent, gentle, cooperative young man who is a pleasure to be around. Since he was first born he had a calm, introspective personality that made him intriguing to interact with. People would constantly stop us and say how gorgeous he was, but we'd also get odd comments like "he looks so smart". I mean, a five month old looks smart? Really? But, he did. He seemed like he knew things that other children didn't. His personality is attractive; he draws people in. Without being exceptionally outgoing or flamboyant, he is (and has been since preschool) a very popular boy. Everyone wants to play with him. Here's an example. The spring and summer of his third year, we would visit a very large neighborhood park 3 or 4 times per week. T would spend most of his play time simply running through the play structures, up, down, in and out. Initially he was running alone, but by the end of the first week there was a line of small children running behind him. He would run through the structure for at least an hour each day, stopping briefly for sips of water. And, every day there would be children running in his wake. Not always the same chidlren, they would differ based on day and time. On one morning after he'd been conducting his running class for kids for about two weeks, we arrived at the park at the designated time and I heard a boy yell to his playmates "he's here, T is here." And we were immediately swarmed by a group of children ready to run. It was a strange summer. And, T barely batted an eye. While all of the kids knew his name, he could barely recall one or two of theirs. He don't find it odd or exciting, and he seemed not to care whether he was running in a crowd or completley alone. Maybe it is exactly his nonchalance, his aplomb, that attracts people to him. He has an easy, self assured nature that is not at all condescending or cocky. He simply gives people the feeling that he can be trusted, that he will make the right choices, and that he will be fun. Sadly, his inherent nature was intially mistaken by me as learned behavior. I foolishly thought that I had created this angel with my expert parenting skills and attention to rules and norms. I falsely believed that I had "a way with children". That my expereince as an educator (used to be a teacher) and my knowledge of child development actually aided in the creation of this virtullay perfect human. My second son taught me that I am a fool. A full blown dolt who could not raise a pack of hamsters without help (luckily I have plenty). He, in essence, is my inspiration for parenting BY dummies.