Boom Baby Is Right!

If I didn't weigh so dang much, I'd be literally blown away by how many people were coerced, threatened, or bribed came over to cast their votes for the Merry Effing Christmas Photo Contest this week.

As it is, I'm amazed!

There really were so many great entries.

They all deserve to win.

Only, since my finances are a bit, um...strained (apparently "Santa's" retainer fee has gone up a bit this year) everyone can't get a gift of the tangible-could-be-sold-on-ebay variety.

But...

Remember high school (I'm probably the only person on the planet who actually longs to go back to high school since that is where I left the thin version of myself), when they had those superlatives for the year book?

You know Most Likely to Succeed (aka biggest dork). Or, Biggest Flirt (aka the fast ones getting all the "action"). Stuff like that.

I always wanted to win one of those, just once.

I woulda been happy with anything...maybe Most Athletic.

But I was a cheerleader, and not the back handspring-ing kind, the stomp-clap-stomp kind.

Okay. So I wasn't a cheerleader at first.

At first, I was the Panther (sorta had to work my way up to real life cheerleader, but I swear, eventually I made it outta the suit and onto the field/court in my real skin).



Pretty sure this temporary vocation of mine reflected unfavorably on the rest of my years.

Point is I never won anything.

Possibly because I wasn't outstanding at anything.

Possibly because of the year I spent as the Panther.

Or, possibly because BFF was busy outshining me at everything.

Do you know that freshman year she won prettiest AND best dressed?!

Seriously! Does one person really need two titles?

Anyway, I thought the best way to do this contest would be to give superlatives to the Hall of Shamers because each of you were awesome in your own possibly-dysfunctional-but-ridiculously-funny ways.

And, I don't want you to feel all scorned or left out because you didn't win anything.

So, in random order, because I figure if you wanna know who got the most votes, you can feel free to spend the next two hours counting all 390 of those bad boys.

#1. From When Did I Become My Mom, aka Kids Easiest to Distract and Least Likely to Pay You Any Mind Even if You Threaten to Put Their Photo on the Internet.



#29. From Hiding From the Kids, aka Most Likely to Meet Santa Behind the Bleachers and Bribe her Friends to Keep Quiet About It.



#6. From Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom, aka Most Likely to Win the World's Strongest Man Competition.



#18. From The Mommyologist, aka Most Likely to Drive a Truck, Own a Tractor, or Live in a Trailer with his Mom (which may not be such a bad thing if you're like me and have decided that kids leaving home is the dumbest thing EVER.).



#11 From Blogbaby, aka Biggest Diva, but not in a I-only-drink-boiled-water-delivered-in-the-clean-hands-of-newborn-babies sorta way, more in a I'm-bad-I'm-bad-I'm-bad-I-know-I'm-bad sorta way.



And now that they have all been given something that I was looked over for numerous times in my high school history, I will get to the moment you all have been waiting for...

The Big Announcement!

Who's the Big Winner of the First Annual Merry Effing Christmas Photo Contest?

Who will live in infamy (like my girl Supah, reigning soon-to-be-former-heavyweight champion of the blog world in the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest) and be granted the title of Fuglist Foto Family?

Who will get the awesome prizes; the notoriety; the opportunity to own PBD (for a day at least); the chance to say IN YO FACE WITH A CAN OF MACE, MAKE YOU CRY ALL OVER THE PLACE?!

The one.

The only.

BLOOOOOOOGBAAAAABBBBY!

That's right people.

Blogbaby is my (and my expert panel of judges who shall remain nameless for fear of being retaliated against by the losers and their posses less fortunate entrants)choice.

Please take a moment to sulk like babies congratulate her on her big win!

But, she's not the only one who should be celebrating tonight.

Our second place winner, Chief, should give herself a huge round of applause! She has herself quite a following of afraid for their lives devoted readers who all took the time to vote for her repeatedly.

And, even though her snapshot didn't win THE prize, it did snag her the more appropriate gift of the Big Eye Dummy because she definitely has carved herself out a permaplace here at Casa de Dummies for presenting us all with the most outlandish, asstastic photo EVER.

And, last but not least, let's give it up for Semi-Slacker Mom and her band of Christmas card photo saboteurs. She has been named the second loser runner up in this here contest and should wear her badge of shame with pride!

Thank you to everyone who entered and voted and made this contest tons of fun.

I hope some of you will stick around PBD and see what things are like on a regular basis, but even if you don't, be sure you come back around February 1st to get in on our next photo contest.

It's gonna be big!

HUGE!

And, it won't even require you to make fun of your offspring!

Happy Holidays peeps.

BOOM BABY!

*PBD admits it's free: Please be aware that Dumb Mom worked her tail off by spending countless hours in front of her computer searching for companies to supply the gifts given to the contest winners. Everything (except for the copy of School of Rock since no one would give me Jack Black's celly so I could call him and ask him for a copy) was supplied free of charge. You are welcome and will be expected to can thank me later! XOXO!