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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Boom Baby Is Right!

If I didn't weigh so dang much, I'd be literally blown away by how many people were coerced, threatened, or bribed came over to cast their votes for the Merry Effing Christmas Photo Contest this week.

As it is, I'm amazed!

There really were so many great entries.

They all deserve to win.

Only, since my finances are a bit, um...strained (apparently "Santa's" retainer fee has gone up a bit this year) everyone can't get a gift of the tangible-could-be-sold-on-ebay variety.


Remember high school (I'm probably the only person on the planet who actually longs to go back to high school since that is where I left the thin version of myself), when they had those superlatives for the year book?

You know Most Likely to Succeed (aka biggest dork). Or, Biggest Flirt (aka the fast ones getting all the "action"). Stuff like that.

I always wanted to win one of those, just once.

I woulda been happy with anything...maybe Most Athletic.

But I was a cheerleader, and not the back handspring-ing kind, the stomp-clap-stomp kind.

Okay. So I wasn't a cheerleader at first.

At first, I was the Panther (sorta had to work my way up to real life cheerleader, but I swear, eventually I made it outta the suit and onto the field/court in my real skin).

Pretty sure this temporary vocation of mine reflected unfavorably on the rest of my years.

Point is I never won anything.

Possibly because I wasn't outstanding at anything.

Possibly because of the year I spent as the Panther.

Or, possibly because BFF was busy outshining me at everything.

Do you know that freshman year she won prettiest AND best dressed?!

Seriously! Does one person really need two titles?

Anyway, I thought the best way to do this contest would be to give superlatives to the Hall of Shamers because each of you were awesome in your own possibly-dysfunctional-but-ridiculously-funny ways.

And, I don't want you to feel all scorned or left out because you didn't win anything.

So, in random order, because I figure if you wanna know who got the most votes, you can feel free to spend the next two hours counting all 390 of those bad boys.

#1. From When Did I Become My Mom, aka Kids Easiest to Distract and Least Likely to Pay You Any Mind Even if You Threaten to Put Their Photo on the Internet.

#29. From Hiding From the Kids, aka Most Likely to Meet Santa Behind the Bleachers and Bribe her Friends to Keep Quiet About It.

#6. From Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom, aka Most Likely to Win the World's Strongest Man Competition.

#18. From The Mommyologist, aka Most Likely to Drive a Truck, Own a Tractor, or Live in a Trailer with his Mom (which may not be such a bad thing if you're like me and have decided that kids leaving home is the dumbest thing EVER.).

#11 From Blogbaby, aka Biggest Diva, but not in a I-only-drink-boiled-water-delivered-in-the-clean-hands-of-newborn-babies sorta way, more in a I'm-bad-I'm-bad-I'm-bad-I-know-I'm-bad sorta way.

And now that they have all been given something that I was looked over for numerous times in my high school history, I will get to the moment you all have been waiting for...

The Big Announcement!

Who's the Big Winner of the First Annual Merry Effing Christmas Photo Contest?

Who will live in infamy (like my girl Supah, reigning soon-to-be-former-heavyweight champion of the blog world in the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest) and be granted the title of Fuglist Foto Family?

Who will get the awesome prizes; the notoriety; the opportunity to own PBD (for a day at least); the chance to say IN YO FACE WITH A CAN OF MACE, MAKE YOU CRY ALL OVER THE PLACE?!

The one.

The only.


That's right people.

Blogbaby is my (and my expert panel of judges who shall remain nameless for fear of being retaliated against by the losers and their posses less fortunate entrants)choice.

Please take a moment to sulk like babies congratulate her on her big win!

But, she's not the only one who should be celebrating tonight.

Our second place winner, Chief, should give herself a huge round of applause! She has herself quite a following of afraid for their lives devoted readers who all took the time to vote for her repeatedly.

And, even though her snapshot didn't win THE prize, it did snag her the more appropriate gift of the Big Eye Dummy because she definitely has carved herself out a permaplace here at Casa de Dummies for presenting us all with the most outlandish, asstastic photo EVER.

And, last but not least, let's give it up for Semi-Slacker Mom and her band of Christmas card photo saboteurs. She has been named the second loser runner up in this here contest and should wear her badge of shame with pride!

Thank you to everyone who entered and voted and made this contest tons of fun.

I hope some of you will stick around PBD and see what things are like on a regular basis, but even if you don't, be sure you come back around February 1st to get in on our next photo contest.

It's gonna be big!


And, it won't even require you to make fun of your offspring!

Happy Holidays peeps.


*PBD admits it's free: Please be aware that Dumb Mom worked her tail off by spending countless hours in front of her computer searching for companies to supply the gifts given to the contest winners. Everything (except for the copy of School of Rock since no one would give me Jack Black's celly so I could call him and ask him for a copy) was supplied free of charge. You are welcome and will be expected to can thank me later! XOXO!


Chief said...

Okay, I have no issue with 2nd place. Thanks for the laughs PBD, it was a fun week.

Please send my prize to Supah. I never intended to keep the loot, just wanted to have fun with my followers. I didn't read the fine print about the most votes not being the definite winner though. You got me on that one!

I will sleep well knowing I swept it in the popular votes and I don't think my voters really doing it out of fear. ~wink... I think they really like me to take the time to vote each day. Thanks again.

Mommy is in the Bathroom said...

Haha fun contest.

Chief did a great job, glad she took second! Hope to see dumb mom return the favor to supah and chief by directing people to their sites to help with the ebay/jaden issue!

What was that last situation when the popular vote person lost and someone else got the position? Oh yea, um.. nevermind...

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

Whaaaaa???? Why did I keep coming back to vote EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. if it didn't count?!! This is bull macocky....I'm taking my tiara and heading home.

Chief swept this contest and everyone knows it....

Of course, I would have won this sucker if I had the time to go dig up the pic of my sweet precious formerly 3 y/o giving Santa the bird in a polaroid pic...

Kmama said...

Congrats to the winners!!

SupahMommy said...

I VOTE #29!! GO # 29!!

THe funni-ass -t ONE!

Wait.. it' s over?? Who won?


COngrats winner person.

and SUPER congrats to chiefy ! Holy votes Chief! People aren't scurrred of you.. they adore you. and thanks for the prize!

What is it?

Is it that elf in that picture of Angie??? Cuz um.. I'll donate that to charity. I wonder if it will fit in the red buckets!

Congrats to all the entries.. there were some REALLY REALLY great ones too that I lAUGHED MY BUTT OFF AT.


BlogBaby said...


In yo' face other contestant folks!

I well played everyone!

PBD, the check is in the mail.

Love ya. Mean it.


Working Mommy said...

Congrats BlogBaby...great contest everyone!!


Miss Dot said...

Woohoo!! This was a great contest. I can't wait to have lots and lots of babies who also won't sit still for pictures so I can be in the ranks of people like BlogBaby, Chief, and Supah. Caaaaaaan't wait.

When did I become my Mom said...

Awww man! So close, so close! But hey, top 5! Really never woulda thought top 5, so hurray for that.

Some great photos and my personal fave was #22, now that it's safe to say.


angie said...

Ok. This was so much fun. Congrats to the winner.

How did you not win 'funniest' in HS?

I never win anything either. Nothing in HS. Not even best hair. :) I wouldn't redo HS for anything though. Hated those years.

Unknown Mami said...

Congratulations to the winners!

Anonymous said...

Great contest, pBd! I couldn't pick just one.
And superlatives in high school are not always a good thing. I was on the most changed page from freshman to senior. Now is that really a compliment?

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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