The Mama Kat Challenge

I participate in Mama Kat's Writers Workshop consistently.

I enjoy selecting a prompt every Thursday and trying to fit my Thursday Thank You into it in a creative way.

It's fun, it gives me a go to topic for each Thursday, and it's challenging (and I love a challenge).

But, this week, I decided to kick it up a notch.

Instead of selecting one prompt to write about, I'm gonna include all five prompts in today's post.

I know, crazy, right?!

But, not one to shy away from a challenge (unless it involves small children, reptiles, and/or a sponge) I'm gonna do this.

So, back up off me, and watch a master at work (the bold titles are answers to the challenge; the rest are just for fun)!

The top ten things I'd rather be doing than having sex with David Letterman (courtesy of Mama Kat by way of Happy Hour Sue).

Really, I'm not sure there actually are things I'd rather do, but I'll give it my best shot!

I'd rather...

10. Pump up the crockpot. Hello, Fall. Aren't you cute with your wind, and your chilly mornings, and your early sunsets? Yeah, right. I like to look at fall, but I don't really like to be all cold and wet and flu seasony. But, there are a coupla good things about fall: fall full-body-covering clothes, fall photos, and busting out the crockpot. You know, the crockpot is so underestimated. I fully appreciate it's awesomeness as a pan that cooks stuff itself. I love when things can get a job done without my constant micromanaging attention. And, crockpots will cook any 'ole thing. For example, I went to the apple orchard this week and copped a whole crap load of apples. I needed to find a way to enjoy them since I'm sick to retching of apple slices and peanut butter. Hows about, a little apple cider? Dress it up with a little spiced rum and it's on (although too much of this and I might actually consider boning big Dave).

9. Shop. I enjoy shopping particularly when I have money, a kid free afternoon, and an empty tummy (you know, so my guts aren't all bloated and distended looking and I can actually find something in a one digit size that fits me).

8. Look in the mirror. Because, even though when I look in the mirror I find a number of "issues" that could use some "intervention", I feel like I've got Big D beat in a number of categories. My teeth are better, my hair is better, and my glasses are cuter. No need for explanation, it just is.

7. Beat up mean people. Particularly the one who assaulted my kid. And, no, I don't think it matters that the accused is a fourth grader.

6. Eat pie. And then rush to the bathroom to puke it up. I know I don't need pie, but I really, really want it. Temporary bulimia seems like the most reasonable answer to this problem. I can have my pie and eat it too (provided I don't hang on to it too long).

5. Rewind time to this summer day.



Although this is not an amazing capture, it does display something I am desperate for; my garage open, and inviting, in full working order. Alas, as it is today, a semblance of it's former greatness, my garage floor may never see the light of day again. Our esteemed (aka mysteriously MIA) garage door repair dude informed us (when he last made contact days ago) that we are in possession of one of the rarest garage door opener springs ever made. Meaning he can't seem to find one, and when he does it's gonna cost us. Maybe, if I hook up with Davey Boy, he can "help me out" with the garage door situation. You scratch my back, I'll *gag* scratch yours.


And, here's my poem:

Roses are red,
cement is white,
fix my garage door, dummy,
all right?!

4. Go on a diet.

3. Go on a vacation. Which in T-7 days I will be boarding a plane to Vegas w/BFF to do. And, you know what they say, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." So Mr. Letterman, if you'd like to "discuss" my garage door situation, I'm staying at the Venetian, have your people contact my people and we can set something up.

2. Make money money, make money money money (name that tune?!). As in, I need some cash (*cough* Mr. Late Show) so I can pay for this blinged out trip I'm taking to Vegas. I thought I'd be able to obtain a sponsor but, due to my general lack of awesomeness, I was not. Which means, my current sponsor (aka Hubby) will require repayment in the form of domestic favors, and I'm so not down for that.

1. Have sex with Mama Kat, 7-Clown-Circus Angie, Scary Mommy, 1-Mom-of-5 Lolli, the hotties @ Mayhem and Moxie, the SITS Girls, Bad Mommy Moments, and/or Supah-Mommy.

Okay, I'm kidding, unless Mama Kat is gonna wear that smokin' Wonder Woman get-up, and then it's on.

So this Thursday Thank You is me jockin' paying tribute to some very awesome ladies who have made an impact on my blogging life.

Thank you, and you're welcome.





Card reads: Dear People I Wish I /knew IRL, even though you probably wouldn't talk to me, Thank you, Mama Kat for writing your Blacks poem, I feel like you were part of the solution. Thank you, Angie for sending me lovely poop cleaning products to check out. It will change my life. Thank you Lolli & Scary Mommy for actually hanging out with me IRL; although it has been suspiciously long since we've done so. Thank you Mayhem and Moxie for sending Miss Mona this way. She was fast, but she was fun. Thanks, SITS girls for putting together SITScation for washed up bloggers like me. I promise to make lasting memories of all the parts I'm not drunk for. Thank you Supah for making me laugh. A lot. And, thank you BMM, you are my blog inspiration, and I'll always be in awe of what an amazing WRITER you are. I'm so buying your book, unless you wanna send it to me for free to review, which we be good too. XOXO, Dumb Mom