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Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Mama Kat Challenge

I participate in Mama Kat's Writers Workshop consistently.

I enjoy selecting a prompt every Thursday and trying to fit my Thursday Thank You into it in a creative way.

It's fun, it gives me a go to topic for each Thursday, and it's challenging (and I love a challenge).

But, this week, I decided to kick it up a notch.

Instead of selecting one prompt to write about, I'm gonna include all five prompts in today's post.

I know, crazy, right?!

But, not one to shy away from a challenge (unless it involves small children, reptiles, and/or a sponge) I'm gonna do this.

So, back up off me, and watch a master at work (the bold titles are answers to the challenge; the rest are just for fun)!

The top ten things I'd rather be doing than having sex with David Letterman (courtesy of Mama Kat by way of Happy Hour Sue).

Really, I'm not sure there actually are things I'd rather do, but I'll give it my best shot!

I'd rather...

10. Pump up the crockpot. Hello, Fall. Aren't you cute with your wind, and your chilly mornings, and your early sunsets? Yeah, right. I like to look at fall, but I don't really like to be all cold and wet and flu seasony. But, there are a coupla good things about fall: fall full-body-covering clothes, fall photos, and busting out the crockpot. You know, the crockpot is so underestimated. I fully appreciate it's awesomeness as a pan that cooks stuff itself. I love when things can get a job done without my constant micromanaging attention. And, crockpots will cook any 'ole thing. For example, I went to the apple orchard this week and copped a whole crap load of apples. I needed to find a way to enjoy them since I'm sick to retching of apple slices and peanut butter. Hows about, a little apple cider? Dress it up with a little spiced rum and it's on (although too much of this and I might actually consider boning big Dave).

9. Shop. I enjoy shopping particularly when I have money, a kid free afternoon, and an empty tummy (you know, so my guts aren't all bloated and distended looking and I can actually find something in a one digit size that fits me).

8. Look in the mirror. Because, even though when I look in the mirror I find a number of "issues" that could use some "intervention", I feel like I've got Big D beat in a number of categories. My teeth are better, my hair is better, and my glasses are cuter. No need for explanation, it just is.

7. Beat up mean people. Particularly the one who assaulted my kid. And, no, I don't think it matters that the accused is a fourth grader.

6. Eat pie. And then rush to the bathroom to puke it up. I know I don't need pie, but I really, really want it. Temporary bulimia seems like the most reasonable answer to this problem. I can have my pie and eat it too (provided I don't hang on to it too long).

5. Rewind time to this summer day.

Although this is not an amazing capture, it does display something I am desperate for; my garage open, and inviting, in full working order. Alas, as it is today, a semblance of it's former greatness, my garage floor may never see the light of day again. Our esteemed (aka mysteriously MIA) garage door repair dude informed us (when he last made contact days ago) that we are in possession of one of the rarest garage door opener springs ever made. Meaning he can't seem to find one, and when he does it's gonna cost us. Maybe, if I hook up with Davey Boy, he can "help me out" with the garage door situation. You scratch my back, I'll *gag* scratch yours.

And, here's my poem:

Roses are red,
cement is white,
fix my garage door, dummy,
all right?!

4. Go on a diet.

3. Go on a vacation. Which in T-7 days I will be boarding a plane to Vegas w/BFF to do. And, you know what they say, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." So Mr. Letterman, if you'd like to "discuss" my garage door situation, I'm staying at the Venetian, have your people contact my people and we can set something up.

2. Make money money, make money money money (name that tune?!). As in, I need some cash (*cough* Mr. Late Show) so I can pay for this blinged out trip I'm taking to Vegas. I thought I'd be able to obtain a sponsor but, due to my general lack of awesomeness, I was not. Which means, my current sponsor (aka Hubby) will require repayment in the form of domestic favors, and I'm so not down for that.

1. Have sex with Mama Kat, 7-Clown-Circus Angie, Scary Mommy, 1-Mom-of-5 Lolli, the hotties @ Mayhem and Moxie, the SITS Girls, Bad Mommy Moments, and/or Supah-Mommy.

Okay, I'm kidding, unless Mama Kat is gonna wear that smokin' Wonder Woman get-up, and then it's on.

So this Thursday Thank You is me jockin' paying tribute to some very awesome ladies who have made an impact on my blogging life.

Thank you, and you're welcome.

Card reads: Dear People I Wish I /knew IRL, even though you probably wouldn't talk to me, Thank you, Mama Kat for writing your Blacks poem, I feel like you were part of the solution. Thank you, Angie for sending me lovely poop cleaning products to check out. It will change my life. Thank you Lolli & Scary Mommy for actually hanging out with me IRL; although it has been suspiciously long since we've done so. Thank you Mayhem and Moxie for sending Miss Mona this way. She was fast, but she was fun. Thanks, SITS girls for putting together SITScation for washed up bloggers like me. I promise to make lasting memories of all the parts I'm not drunk for. Thank you Supah for making me laugh. A lot. And, thank you BMM, you are my blog inspiration, and I'll always be in awe of what an amazing WRITER you are. I'm so buying your book, unless you wanna send it to me for free to review, which we be good too. XOXO, Dumb Mom


SmartPumpkin'sMom said...

LOL! LOve your poem! The Dudes are growing.
Maybe I should start doing Mama Kat's chalenges? Sounds so damn interesting.

kyslp said...

I love the way you did all the prompts at the same time and tied them together! (I don't do reptiles either.)

Life with Kaishon said...

Wow. When you step it up, you really do step it up : ). I thought her costume was HOT too : ) Not hot enough to make me want to have sex with her, but totally hot : )

Lolli said...

Um, yeah, I would prefer you over David Letterman ANY day. I'm glad to know the feeling is mutual. :)

Cat said...

lol at temporary bullemia! I used to wish I could have that.

Jennifer said...

Awesome! You totally rocked the writer's workshop this week.

angie said...

Ha ha ha. No wonder you made me promise.

I adored this post. And not just b/c I'm in it. I like the poem. The pictures. A lot. I liked the part about the apple pie and shopping on an empty stomach and the dedication.

I heart you too. Did you notice that you are in my excellent friends category of my blog roll?

Mama Kat said...

Well we're all going to Vegas right!?! You know what they say...what happens in Vegas....

Great post!!

Tammy Howard said...

I talked about pie today, too. But not in conjunction with Letterman or ralphing, so we're cool.

Caution said...

Your blog was surely worth the stopover from SITS!! What a clever lady you are. Now I've got to follow you so I know how to get back here tomorrow.

Keyona said...

That picture is hilarious! Looks like the baby means business!! LOL!

MJ said...

YOU ROCK!!!!! I would never have thought to cover all the prompts the way you did! I think I may <3 you, or is it too early in our relationship? ;o)
MJ of Dirty Lil Confessions via Mama's Losin It

Scary Mommy said...

Ha!! Loved this!! And, I cannot WAIT to hear the stories from Vegas. I'm kind of afraid at what could happen. :)

junebug said...

So clever! Loved it. The Venetian? I am so jealous - I love that place. Have fun.

Mira is triplet crown said...

Oh if only I hadn't spent my vacation time saving cute animals instead of drinking and carousing with you in Vegas. BTW I was near you but too sick to visit or do anything but what I came for, the fundraiser on Sun. I considered contacting you but 1. Too shy, and 2. Sick as a dog. pathetic really.

Amber Page Writes said...

Instead of temporary bulemia, I always wished I could get a temporary tapeworm. Think that's possible?

shortmama said...

You had me at had me at pie!

Anonymous said...

Your blog makes me smile.

Mom of Three said...

See - short, sweet, great poem. Funny as always!

ck said...

Dear Dumb Mom,

(Even though you're way too clever to play off being dumb.)

Thank YOU for including me in this note. It was such a nice surprise to see my name in your handwriting (although seeing BMM abbreviated looks suspiciously like a secret code for some kind of Bowl Movement).

You and your blog ROCK.


PS: You know I'm sending you my book for a review once I get it in print. Fingers crossed for this spring!

SupahMommy said...

coming in for my landing
sorry my trip to your blog to check out your "pick up line" was delayed


have sex with MOI??

I am totally kinky so if you wanna get down with the supah:
think about gettin yo funk on... supah style

okay.. so im not really kinky.. but...
it sounded good.

your on my IRL stalk list.
wait.. did i just tell you that?

going to read about the assault.. and then coming to help with it.
you're the best

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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