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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Bribery: A Means to an End

I'm not afraid to admit it.

I'm a huge supporter of bribery.

I bribe friends, relatives, coworkers.

My children, my husband, anyone.

It works, so I do it.

Some people call it positive reinforcement.

Some people call it rewarding good behavior.

I call it bribing.

Good-old-fashioned-mafia-inspired-minus-the-knee-bashing bribery; I have something you want, I'll gladly provide you with it right after you man up and give me what I want.

Simple as that.


The dudes like to have snack at 8pm every single day.

They enjoy it.

They expect it.

They require it.

Knowing this I can pretty much serve them up a pile of any-old-healthy-all-be-it-tasteless entree I desire because they know that nothing remotely snack like in taste will cross their expectant little lips if whatever selection I have presented them with at dinner is not consumed to my satisfaction.

Occasionally, try as they might, their gag reflexes win out and that is how I wind up with a puke filled plate (please note: children whose commitment to excellence leads to table retching are presented with their snack regardless of their inability to consume their meal in its entirety; it's only fair).

But, normally, things work in my favor and they are "rewarded" for their efforts.

See, this scenario can easily be classified as rewarding, reinforcing positive behavior, providing extrinsic motivation to encourage intrinsic action yada-yada-yada-let-me-tell-you-what-it-really-is.


I want them to do it, I dangle what they covet in front of them, no matter how subconscious their acquiescence may be, they are only doing it because they want what I have. And, while I've never been forced to bat down a knee cap or strategically place a horse head at the foot of a bed, I can't say I'm totally above that.

I could go there, should the need arise.

Let's just hope it doesn't.

Which leads me to the topic of the day: bribing you.

That's right.

I'm not above it, and frankly, neither are you.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say people enjoy being bribed.

We may not necessarily be down with extortion or blackmail, but bribery is a-ok in most of our books.

So, I'm going to attempt to bribe you (aka reward you for good behavior).

Don't go getting all excited and offended (you must know I'm so kidding), I'm just trying to scratch your back a little (aka bribe you) to encourage you to scratch mine.

Everyone likes a nice, long, heavy-handed-and-totally-obvious back scratch, right?!

Here it is: I (and the homies at am willing to give two of you the awesome gift of 100 custom made, size 4x6, postcards.

Nice, right?!

And getting them is so freakin' easy.

All you have to do is: a) be proactive, b) be a trendsetter, c)love me to pieces.

Sounds easy enough, right?!


a) you know you were gonna enter my Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest anyway. All you have to do is enter it by 10/29/09, which means all of you on it people who have already entered are well on your way to being eligible for this prize too.

b) Chances are good, as a forward thinking, incredibly intelligent, witty, charming reader of PBD you are already a trendsetter. People want to be like you. And, like Uncle Ben always said, "with great power comes great responsibility". And, as such, it is your responsibility to Tweet about and/or blog about the contest so your friends, relatives, and blog stalking lunatics readers can follow in your trailblazing footsteps and enter my Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest as well.


c)obviously, since you follow my blog and/or my Twitter (you do, right?) you already love me and will continue to do so for the rest of your life (provided I don't tick you off too badly by trying to shamelessly bribe you).

So, don't delay.

Send in your entries to the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest (how many more times do you think I can slip that in?) by 10/29, blog or tweet about the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest, and then hit follow here or there (@thenagainphoto) and you're good (but, please be sure you leave a comment on this post telling me you're in so I can enter your name in my random, manual name picking machine, aka #2).

You could win 100 full color, 4x6 postcards so that you can send out pictures of your lil 'uns in their Halloween costumes like this:

You know, to prove once and for all that it's not his mama who dresses him funny, he does it to himself!

Disclaimer: Please click here to read full rules for entering the Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest (in case you didn't catch the name before). All contest instructions must be followed to be eligible for either contest. Additionally, please note that the 100 postcards are being provided to the two selected winners by UPrinting, and I will also get a set free of charge for hosting the giveaway on my blog.


marymac said...

i'm in! off to tweet it up! :)

p.s. love your slideshow and omgggg on JT and glad you had fun at Sitscation!

Jennifer said...

I thought we had until after Halloween to enter the costume contest. I better get busy.

Miss Mel said...

Going to tweet now! Thanks!

Mary said...

Count me in. I actually posted about the contest before being given the assignment so shouldn't that give me some extra credit. I'm anxiously awaiting Riley being in the top 5 so I can post about your contest again :-)

Mira is triplet crown said...

I blogged about it sunday! And entered. I was so efficient I didn't even know I was reading your mind...

kys said...

I bribe my kids, too. Sometimes that doesn't even work.

morris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Geezees Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

I am a HUGE fan of a good bribe!

BlogBaby said...

It would be highly unfair of me to enter your contest. I mean SERIOUSLY we don't want to embarrass all the other moms and their definitely less adorable than me children, do we?

I'm sassy, not cruel.


Anonymous said...

Bribing to get them to eat. I knew I was missing something! You're brilliant!

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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