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Thursday, August 13, 2009

My Acceptance Speech

I'd like to thank my director, my producer, my friends, and family.

Thank you to the academy...


It's all me baby, I'm not gonna thank the little people for my success, it's in spite of them, not because of them.

No, seriously. For this week's Thursday Thank You I'm gonna spend the day focusing on all of the lovely ladies in Blog Land who have been duped into thinking I'm in some way worthy of receiving their awards.

I know it seems like I am a self absorbed (sorta, but not totally), ungrateful (I say thanks like almost every time), loser (okay, I got nothin' on this one, 'cause it's obviously NOT true) who completely ignores your praise.

Not true.

I may not be very awesome when it comes to posting about awards I'm given, but I tell Mimi about it every time and then I send her and BFF over to your sites to stalk you and ensure that you don't post anything about taxidermy, bondage, or outer space, because in case you didn't know, those three things creep me out.

Should you post about any of these topics, please note that any award you bestow upon me will be considered defunct, and your comments on my blog will be blocked. I mean, a dead animal stuffing freakazoid who likes to tie people up in outer space has no business hanging out at Casa de Dummies (but vampires with sexy bed head, a-ok!). Although I'm sure you could give me a few pointers about how to tie a good knot, you know in case I need to restrain someone (cough, #2).

So, without further adieu, let me turn to the microphone over to the really awesome bloggers of this little place I like to call Blog Land.

Bloggers who I am bestowing my own little award of sorts on: The So NOT Dumb Blogger award. Feel free to install the parenting BY dummies button on your blog and tell people you are awesome, because I said so.

These ladies are all worth checking out because they rock (I mean, obviously, they all gave me awards, duh!). So click on their links, and tell them they are dope and I'll be so happy. And, I know that's what everyone really wants, right? For PBD to be happy?!

1. The Confused Homemaker: So NOT Dumb because she always leaves the nicest comments, and she talks about all kinds of smart stuff over on her blog. She is anything but confused.

2. The Triplet Crown: So NOT Dumb because anyone who can have three kids of the same age and not shoot their left arm off is a genius in my book.

3. The Wannabe WAHM: So NOT Dumb because while she didn't give me an actual award, she featured me, which is even mo' betta!

4. I Know This Much: So NOT Dumb because she gets all excited (and nervous, and palm-sweaty-do-a-quick-pit-stank-check dorky) about making a real life friend, just like me. It may appear to be a little dumb at first glance, but it totally is NOT.

5. Orange Juice.: So NOT Dumb because some way, some how she's got her ear to the blog-land-giveaway streets and she always hosts the best giveaways (I even won once!) or at least can tell you who is hosting exactly what you're looking for. She's like the Perez Hilton of blogging giveaways because she's got all the dirt and she don't mind spilling it (in a super nice way, of course, not at all trashy or mean like someone we know). But she is fun-ny too which makes her double awesome.

Thank you, and you're welcome.

Note reads: Dear, Beth, Mira, Sophia's Mom (name hidden too well for me to locate), Courtney, and OJ thank you for honoring me with awards. I completely appreciate them even though I will probably sully them all by not following the instructions or passing them on to others. Sorry, I'm 100% committed to repeatedly sucking in this way:)! Hope my sappy-love-fest-of-a-kiss-up post makes up for it. Oh, and my homemade (well not really, Katie from Sunshine and Bubblegum made it for me but under my direction so it's sorta the same, no?) button/award, let's not forget that. Feel free to give it away. There are no directions or expectations associated with it at all. Just feel the love, people. Feel. The. Love.

P.S. If I missed you I give you express written permission to send me an email at parentingbydummies[at]gmail[dot]com and tell me I suck and stuff. This is a one time use permission slip and it expires at midnight tonight. Please note, all hate mail received after this time will immediately be moved to the "oh-it's-on" box.


Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

I am going to go check them see how dope they are and stuff.

confused homemaker said...

beautiful speech, I even cried at one point;)

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I snagged your button yesterday - that picture is priceless. :)

Mira is triplet crown said...

Nice. I feel special. And who says I haven't shot off my left arm? I can type with one hand. But honestly? The odds were already against me with two arms and three children. Seems like it would be pretty much worse with one arm against three. Think of how long tying them all up would take. Oh that's right. No bondage. Poop.


Lolli said...

Priceless. I especially love the disclaimer at the end. You don't suck. And stuff.

Amethyst Moon said...

At first, I was touched by the mushyness of your appreciation, but the mushyness soon turned into awkward uncomfortableness (not really a word, but it should be)so I would appreciate it, if in the future you stick to the self involved more sarcastic postings we are used to. :0) for real though, thanks for letting us know about these bomdiggity blogs

Keyona said...

Great speech girl!

Sophia's Mom said...

I was about to snag your button today when i saw you gave me an award!!! YOU ROCK!

It was smart of me to feature you on my blog so that you would be forced to give me an award, right?!

I will be posting my "One Lovely Blog" award giveawat thing today. You are getting one. Please do not feel the need to pass it on.

lov said...

i love your button! :)

I'm Just Sayin' - Kerri said...

You button is soo cute. I want it and I didn't give you an award. I may just take it anyway.

Orange Juice said...

Did you call me dirty?
I got the JUICE baby that's why it's called Orange JUICE! That's right!
And my junk is REAL (oh wait not the ta tas) Perez only thinks hes he's a queen.

Thanks lady! ;)

Merry Mack said...

Great speech. I am headed over to check these folks out. You are so funny.

Deb said...

Congrats and loved your speech. Will check out your recs now.

Anonymous said...

I like your award. That's cool. Now I'm off to visit other blogs.

P.S. Has anyone ever told you how awesome it was that you don't have a word cryptic thingy?

Alicia said...

congrats to the winners!! i love me some orange juice, she's my hunney boo!

Unknown Mami said...

I love getting awards and I love breaking the rules too!

Kathy B! said...

A lovely speech!

And new bloggers whom I have I not yet visited... I might need to go and make the rounds :)

Anonymous said...

thanks for your reccomendations...will check them out...

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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