Choc Full-

of chocolate.




Yummy, sugary, perfectly sweet chocolate of the Hershey's variety.

That, along with fresh made kettle chips, soft pretzels, bratwursts, cookies and kettle corn, is what we enjoyed the most at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA last Friday.

Actually, the entire trip was highly enjoyable (if you don't count the fact that it must've been high school band camp day; more on that later).

#1 was on his best behavior (like pretty much every single moment of his eager to please life). And he learned to drive:)

#2 discovered that he is a roller coaster loving animal (yep, my 4 year old went on the Super Dooper Looper which features a couple of upside downsies).

And, even though this was his face immediately afterward, he insists that it was "this much fun" (envision arms stretched wide) and he would do it "again and again, hundreds of times."

And, #3 puddle jumped happily throughout most of the trip.

As an added bonus, he held off on laying down his customary 3-5 daily craps. He kindly only blessed us with one highly fragrant one ridiculously close to the end of the trip.

Could not have asked for better.

All in all it was an amazing, eventful, yet uneventful family (that would include BFF) trip.

Now, for the high school band dork student(and I can totally say that because for the briefest moment I actually was one) thing.

For whatever reason, I was not informed that Friday, May 29, 2009 would be the designated day for schools across the tri-state region to sign up their resident musical education programs for a trip to Hershey Park to enjoy end of the year festivities.

Just like countless other old people across the land, I find high schoolers particularly annoying.

Generally, the girls are giggly, eye rolling, fast dressing, hussies whose younger counterparts will some day be shakin' what their mama's gave them in front of my highly attractive sons.

The boys are obnoxious, squeaky voiced, loud talkers, boasting overinflated egos and oozing testosterone from their visibly clogged pores.

The "cool" ones, anyway.

The ones we had the pleasure of interacting with on this lovely day where different.

They were the "creative" ones.

The ones who wear black tutus and gaudy, striped tights.

The ones who have the uncanny ability to not sweat profusely despite the fact that they are wearing a full trench coat in black, knee high boots in black, and sweater sleeves (you guessed it) in black, while walking miles in a jam packed amusement park, in 80 degree weather.

The ones who spent a good five minutes driving me batty by ridiculing the security guards for not doing a thorough bag check because they "could have drugs" in their bags.

I seriously wanted to turn around and say, "Seriously, Bevis. He could not care less if you have drugs! He was checking to see if you had an Uzi shoved in that bag. He's not concerned if you want to spend the day high as a jay bird. Not to mention that he could look at you and tell you were clean. As a matter of fact, the 30 something mom of 3 in front of you (aka me) could have scored drugs quicker than you, and it's painfully obvious. So shut up about the drugs already and get an effing funnel cake!"

But, I didn't.

And, what is up with the guy on guy teen love fests of today's youth?

We had to enjoy Chocolate World from behind a group of boys who thought that dimmed lights would be a marvelous opportunity to grope each other inappropriately. I mean, why would you let another dude grab your booty and not lay the smack down on him? Is that how teen boys of today roll? With ambiguously gay wheels? 'Cause, I'm not cool with that. Gay, fine. Ambiguously gay? Not so much. I like to know one way or the other, and when you and your homey are playing hunch master in line in front of me while touching each other's corn holes, I get kinda confused.

I hate being confused. I can't think of rude things to say to people who deserve it when I'm confused.

Know what else is confusing?

Childhood obesity, that's what.

I was blown away by the number of muffin topped, love handle loving, man boob sporting teenagers there were running walking around the park.

I guess I never really bought the "16-33% of teens are overweight" statistic.

But, it's true!

And, I'm not saying this to be mean.

I'm just lamenting the fact that all of these young people are going to be investing good chunks of their future incomes into battling weight related illnesses.

And, as a person who wakes up every day to a muffin top and love handles (no man boobs, but some seriously stretched out girly ones) that I loath, I'm sad to imagine the number of girls who are going to be dissatisfied with their appearance and their ability to run around the block as they reach adulthood.

Okay. End fat kid rant.

So, in my expert opinion, you should totally take your kids to Hershey Park to stuff their faces to their heart's content with delicious goodies like these...

Just make them fast after wards!