Give it up!

I'd like to take a moment to give it up to all of those Moms out there with the cajones to leave your shopping cart full of groceries with a manager and roll out during a tantrum.

To those of you with the gumption to excuse yourself from story time and not return when little Chloe loses her mind.

For each one of you who has the acumen, the perspicuity to know that Jacob has had enough, that there is no turning back, and that possibly the only option is for you to pay the tab and leave the restaurant before the food has even been served.

I applaud you.

Because every mom does not have the resolve to do such things.

While some of us would haul little Jacob, kicking and screaming from Red Robin without so much as a look back (thank you awesome mom I saw doing this), others of us would not be inclined to pull off such a move.

Some of us would standby while "Blake" kicked over chairs and pushed back tables. Some of us would tisk, tisk while he proceeded to rearrange various portions of Red Robin by hurling the cutlery and condiments across the room. And, some of us would have the audacity, the impertinence, to be rude to the perplexed teen aged staff members when they asked if they could provide assistance.

Let me say directly to Blake's mommy that we have all been there. We've all had those long days out when the kids are exhausted and hungry. When they missed their naps and have been thrown off of their schedules. But, for the record, when someone offers to assist you when you have fallen victim to an outta control beast baby, it is rarely productive to scream at them to, "GET HIS FOOD OUT HERE, BECAUSE HE IS STARVING."

Possibly the lunch hour is not the best time to stop in with a short tempered toddler and demand quick service. Possibly you could plan ahead and bring snacks for Blakey next time. Or, possibly, when Blakey Poo has gone to the point of no return, where he is disrupting other's dining experience, and causing the not-so-well-behaved children of a dumb mom to stare in horror, you could go the way of Jacob's mommy and GET THE HELL OUT! No shame in your game from leaving in a hurry.

Because, in all honesty, we do not think it's cute. We do not have sympathy for you (okay maybe a little, but not enough to make this okay). And, when Blakey has been placated by some greasy tidbit and he decides to walk from table to table to interact with us customers, we do not find this endearing.

So please don't have him come to us and offer apologies (I'm trying to eat here). And please don't follow behind him saying, "He's running for office." (Because I so am NOT voting for him). And please, please don't let him grab things offa my table, lady.

From one mom to another, my advice to you would simply be to leave. Pack up your pint sized bundle of joy, and leave. Everyone is entitled to enjoy an outside the home dining experience, but perhaps you can reschedule yours for a time when Mr. Blake is more cordial, more calm, and way more interested in listening to reason. And, if that could be when I'm not there, that would be great too.