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Monday, March 30, 2009


#1 has perfected the art form of throwing up in his mouth.

Let me start from the beginning.

I'm on a new health kick b/c I'd like to end my life as Two Ton Tilly.

In order to do that everyone in the family has to change the way they eat b/c I'm weak, I have a problem, and I can not control myself.

So, in order to make things more interesting I've been trying to add some new vegetable entrees to our palette. Trying to spice things up, make dining exciting.

Apparently, they don't like exciting.

The eggplant was a bust, the squash was rejected, and the zucchini... well the zucchini is what led to throwing up in the mouth.

I ask them (OK force them) to at least try everything I put on their plates because they can't know if they don try it, yada, yada, yada. Just some leftover parenting advice from my days with Mimi and Papa.

As soon as I put the zucchini on his plate and slid it across the counter, the protesting, negotiating, begging, and crying (in that order) ensued.

I held my ground (another new technique I'm trying). I did not give in to the pressure. I even forced some into Hubby to make him (the resident picky eater) a roll model. I rolled out the chocolate chip cookie dessert in order to use it as a bribe.

And victory was mine, or so I thought.

He agreed to try one piece. He popped it in and began to chew.

I immediately noticed something was awry when the eyes began to water.

And then the gagging started and I watched as his cheeks quickly began to look like this.

For some reason he decided to run in place instead of run to the bathroom. #2 began screaming in an angry fit of disgust (he hates when people barf), #3 began to copy #2 (bad, bad, bad) and Hubby began to run in place himself fighting back his reactive barf response.

WTH? Must I do everything? I swear, these people are ridiculous. I efficiently ushered #1 to the bathroom where he proceeded to puke his 7 year old brains out for the next five minutes.

My life has gone to a strange place wherein I can be sober and still thoroughly enjoy my dinner (my biscuits, for the record, are DOPE!) while listening to someone call Earl in the nearby restroom.

Even stranger is the fact that he barfed, he flushed, and he came back to the table and proceeded to eat the remaining parts of his dinner. Who does that? Didn't even want to rinse the mouth out a bit, have some water, take a break? Nothing?

All righty then.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch.

I did not require #2 to eat the zucchini. #3, the human garbage disposal, ate all of the remaining zucchini. And #1 vowed to never eat zucchini again.

And, just so you know, the zucchini was NASTY!


Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;) said...

My kids would have found the only spot of carpet WITHOUT a stain and puked there. But my kids are special like that!

Lauren @ Gift the Bambino said...

Yeah, I guess running in circles is better than puking wherever it lands! Sounds like a lovely relaxing dinner with the family ;). Hope tonight's is better!

The Blonde Duck said...

It sounds like you need a bucket at dinner... :)

Anonymous said...

Those must be some unreal chocolate chip cookies...

parentingBYdummies said...

Actually, the cookies are quite awesome, if I do say so myself. We call them diarrhea cookies at my house b/c everyone eats so many that...well, you get the gist of it I'm sure:)

A Psych Mommy said...

I wished that you had a vlog for this! Okay, well, I guess I don't need to see all the details. . .

Ms Perfect said...

Oh no! How could the zucchini be nasty? I love L.O.V.E. zucchini! This post cracked me up! Thanks for the comment. Your boys are gorgeous! "Arranged marriage" HAHA!

Deb said...

Hey, any time puking actually occurs in a bathroom, I consider that a success. You know that ruins zucchini for him for pretty much forever, right? I still feel that way about pizza quick sauce by Ragu.

Stopping by from the MBC Comment Club :)

The Mother said...

I also have some LOVELY photos of the boys gagging over various mealtime delights.

I've threatened, over the years, to show them at their bar mitzvahs. Now that the last one's over, I guess I can only threaten to show them at the weddings.

Or maybe to THEIR children??? Sweet revenge.

katie and eric said...

LOL! Too funny...loved reading about your family. Puking and all.

And your Random Pictures are great!

One Crazy Chick! said...

I almost threw up reading that!

I hide the veggies if I know they won't go over well. Just the other night we had Beef Mac&Cheese with carrots cooked right in there and not a single person but me knew it. It was amazing to watch everyone eat it all.

It was a Cooking Light recipe since I too have a very similar issue with my self control.

Gibby said...

I am laughing so hard right now! This is totally my family. So frustrating. My ped once told me that it could take 15 tries before a kid will like a certain food. 15 times every veggie = a lot of work for nothing!

Zeemaid said...

oh my goodness. I am so at the beginning stage of that with my oldest (5) and just like my dad, I have very little patience with it. I know it's best not to push things too far. Now I just hide the veggies in their food. Like today I added small bits of chopped spinach to mashed potatoes. They loved it.

parentingBYdummies said...

Mashed potatoes make him gag. Can you believe, something so innocuous as mashed potatoes? Something about the consistency. He also loathes eggs, sweet potatoes, and any other thing soft and/or runny you can come up with.

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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