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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Just Say No

6 Seemingly Harmless Movies Boys Should NEVER Watch

1. Nacho Libre. They quote this film incessantly. During #1's preparation for the science fair they repeatedly informed me that in all actuality, "That's not science". Additionally, they have become obsessed with stretchy pants. Scary.
2. School of Rock. "And you're gonna be a funny little footnote on my epic ass." This is a direct quote from Jack Black's character, Dewey as it was retold to me by my 3 year old when I told him he was gonna get into trouble for being rough with his brother. In his defense, he was truly shocked (and extremely disappointed to discover that ass is actually a naughty grown up word).
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Or anything with a catchy (but annoying) theme song. It's like they never, ever forget these songs, and sadly neither do you.
4. Ace Ventura. Since this is quite an old movie I'm not even sure where they saw this. Uproariously funny IMO, but not so much when your 3 year old greets your in-laws by bending over and using his backside as his mouth. "Hello Grandma and Grandpa, would you like a breath mint?"
5. Little Mermaid. My 7 year old gets so nervous he can barely watch the "Kiss the Girl" part. Actually, now that I think about it, he down right refuses to watch that movie any more. And, I am still trying to convince my 3 year old that it is not cool to soul kiss your mother.
6. Monster's Inc. It's not even a little bit okay for there to be a monster in your closet. I don't care how furry, cute, cuddly, personable or well meaning it is, it's just wrong. So, I threw this one behind the dresser and have yet to dig it out.

Moral: If you have to have it on, leave it on the Disney channel.

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