I Made That!

This is a phrase that, outside of the kitchen, I don't get much chance to use.

When it comes to making, or building, or even just assembling things it seems like my hands work a lot like this...



Not sure why. Just is.

But, one thing I can do well (although I try not to really let people know about this one, don't want them raising their expectations or anything) is work.

I can hand mop a floor like nobody's business. Can't say I enjoy it, but still, it's something I've perfected (thanks Mom!) so should I choose to use it, you know for the purpose of wowing guests, I could.

And, I recently discovered that it's not just inside the house work I'm good at.

I learned this summer (due to Hubby's Sudden Onset of Lawn Mowing Induced Semi Paralysis) that I can mow a mean lawn.

And, weeds beware, because (when I can actually get the bloody thing started) I will whack the crap outta you.

Fall is now in full effect around here and, not sure if I mentioned this before but, my house is surrounded by trees.

Everyone knows what happens to trees during the fall. I've discovered that I have quite the intense loathing of leaves, and the trees they blew off of.

Who knew?

They cover, literally cover, my yard and my porch and my deck and my sidewalks and my cars (since the effing garage is still effing broken so the effing cars are stranded in the effing driveway which means every time it effing rains I get drenched running the kids back and forth from the effing house!).

I have to sweep pretty much everyday and, although I was able to avoid it for weeks, I (and Hubby, he actually did the entire back alone b/c I wholeheartedly refused) had to rake the yard.

Actually, and this is sad, the dudes informed me that the yard "wooked widiculous" so we decided to get started while Hubby was at work.

So, Mama Kat and my Writer's Workshop pals, I made this...



A big, fat pile of dead leaves that I'd love to burn, but can't (Damn HOA!).

But, it was actually quite fun (possibly because we only spent about 30 minutes doing the actual working part)!

See...















See that last one?

With the double snap point #2 is giving me?!

Well, that was him calling me out.

And, as I'm not one to shy away from a challenge ("I ain't goin' out like no punk" ring a bell?) I put down the camera and went for a few high flying, triple salchows uncoordinated leaps into the leaves.

It was fun.

Until my body failed me.

And, I pulled a hami or a groin or a whatever it is that goes up, down, and around in your hip/thigh/crotch area.

And, an old injury (a rump shakin' related injury sustained during my weekend in Vegas, yep I'm that sad) reared it's ugly head.

And, I was forced to sit out for the remainder of the leaf jump a-thon and take more photos...



So, this Thursday I'm thanking my Dumb Body. For failing me. Again.

Thank you and you're welcome.





Card Reads: Dear Dumb Body, Thank you for effing up my life. Seriously. Enough is enough. Not only do you look downright embarrassing, but your performance leaves A LOT to be desired. I can't even effectively play with my kids without your interference. I tried to take the stairs two at a time last week and actually strained my ankle...I couldn't walk right for 3 days! Not even a year ago I was jogging circles around this hilly neighborhood, now I can barely walk down one! What is happening to me? I'm going to pieces, and fast. I'm not sure if this is an age related issue or a size related issue, but it better be the latter, 'cause that I can fix. This better not be a sign that I'm getting old, or so help me...Just know that you have been warned, put on notice that you're not going to talk me into watching Eastwick instead of working out, and you're not going to convince me that polishing off the Halloween candy is a good idea. I'm through with you and your "good ideas". Eff your good ideas. It's your good ideas that have made me into the fat goose egg that I am today. The fat lady's singing, my chocolate loving friend, and it's ova. Officially. I'm going for a run, I mean a jog, I mean a quick walk now, so eat my dust. XOXO, Dumb Mom

I have someone you wanna thank?

Go ahead link 'em here (my friend, 'HI SUPAH!' said you guys would like this)!

Eating Healthy is Looney

Part 2: WBs. Consumer Products’ and Safeway’s Eating Right Kids Initiative


Everyone knows I've done a bang up job of teaching my kids to identify (and enjoy) unhealthy foods.



And, yes, if you must know, that's chocolate icing smeared attractively all over his face (and knees, and tummy, and the floor, and wall behind him).

I'm a sweet food junkie, and I admit I have a serious weakness when it comes to cookies.

Plus, I was raised on comfort food; fried chicken, mashed potatoes, homemade breads, were all a huge part of my formative years.

Even with these heavy, delicious food swarming around my house, I never really had a weight problem as a child, or even as a teenager or young adult.

At least not until #1 convinced me from the inside that I needed to eat french fries and milkshakes everyday to ensure he had an optimum inutero environment. And then, to top it all off, my metabolism got all old and lazy and saturated fatty and decided that instead of burning calories all day it will take a series of naps when it should be WORKING!

Basically, it's not entirely my own fault that I'm fat, is it?

I could sit here and blame people, and science, and outer space for my predicament all I want, but it won't help me slim down and it won't help me be a good role model for my dudes.

So, I'm thinking I should make a change. For myself, for my dudes, for the greater good of the community (because seriously, if my rear end gets much bigger it will really become an eye sore).

It's just that teaching them to make healthy eating choices is something that I struggle with daily.

Like I said last week, life tends to get in the way.

But, making sure they have a healthy lifestyle is a priority.

Then, how do I do it?

I'm not 100% sure, but I can tell you that when I'm diligent about making healthy choices for myself, helping them make healthy choices is that much easier.

For example, last year, shortly after #3 made his long awaited debut, BFF and I joined Weight Watchers.

It changed my life.

Temporarily.

I lost a total of 60lbs (I've gained back 10 of them), I started jogging (haven't been out in months), and I completely revamped our diet (we had Tasty Cakes for snack last night).

When I was on the "program" it had become second nature, not just for me, but for them, too.

I memorized the points, and they memorized the food types that were healthy.

Even now that we have begun visiting the golden arches of shame again (more frequently thatn I'd like), they like to suggest the healthier option of apple fries (fingers crossed I'll say good ole fashioned french fries are okay instead).

And, #1 likes to ask two questions before every new meal is sampled, 1) "is this healhty?" and, 2) "Does this help w/constiplation" (he recently had a wicked experience with constipation in which Hubby was forced to act as his doody doula and coach him through the birth of a man sized turd; he is now obsessed with constiplation, as he calls it).

I think the most important factor for us is to simply limit the exisitence of "bad" snacks we have in the house.

I can simply not buy them (or buy them and eat them secretly in the pantry so the kids won't see), and instead focus on filling our cabinets with more healthy options.

For example, this past week was our shopping week (we only do it twice a month).

I went to Costco and instead of the strawberry cheescake and the huge tob of Utz snack mix I wanted to buy, I got fresh strawberries, a bag of fresh avacados (you know, since #2 is deserparet for our backyard to grow an guacamole tree), lettuce, apple chips and dried cheeries.

Instead of our regular chips I purchased Sun Chips because they have like 4 grams of fiber. They love chips, so I'm trying to wean them back gradually by making a less bad choice.

Instead of picking out any old juice boxes (like the ones that are cheapest), I made sure to get the 100% juice ones (actually I got the Fruitable ones that are a mix of fruit and veggie juices).

And, for added support, I pulled out one of my favorite books What Not To Eat For Kids.

I mean, I know that we shouldn't eat cookies, or candies, or Tasty Cakes very often, but this book helps me remember that even when it comes to granola bars, and trail mix, and waffles, not all foods are created equal (in the health benefit department), so I need to be conscious of the ingredient list printed microscopically on the side of the box, and not just the FIVE GRAMS OF FIBER! written in flashy bold print across the front.

I highly recommend the book.

And, I recommend you take a quick look at the Mom Logic site to get more healthful ideas for feeding your kids and teaching them to make healthy choices.

I'm no expert, but these people are.

In other news, if you want to win a Zhu Zhu Pet set, make sure you click here and get entered. There's only like three days left to enter so you better do it now.