Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest

So little time!

I'm a busy little (okay, not so little) beaver these days.

I've been taking photos, getting ready for Vegas, writing at my other blog (and writing for cash!), and getting ready for one of my favorite "holidays" of the year...

Halloween!

That's right, people, we are officially doing the countdown to Halloween over here.

We host an annual Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Bash for our neighborhood which takes hours of precise planning (picture me frantically scribbling the guest list out while I sit in the car waiting for #2 to get out of preschool), back breaking labor (not my back, silly, Hubby's, duh!), and expertise in the kitchen (think I'm gonna go with the pigs in a blanket this year. Again).

Luckily I've enlisted the talents of an amazing party planner (aka BFF) to manage the large part of the preparation (I wonder if she'll come with walkie talkies and headsets?).

It's the only way things are gonna really get done this year because I have some serious stuff going on right now.

"Why, what sorta stuff, Dumb Mom?"

Well, if you must know...

Yours truly is hosting her very first Happily (un)Haunted Halloween Photo Contest!

Oooohhh! Ahhhhhh!

That's right peeps!

I'm doing it big over here. Well, not too big (please note that I am a low budget blog owner), but there will be prizes.

And, anyone (with a photo of their kid in a costume) can win!

Dying to know what is up for grabs?: You (my lucky friend) will get a $25 gift card for Spa Finder and (that's right, A-N-D!), a $20 gift card to Snapfish, Starbucks, or Toys R Us (your choice)!

Here's some inspiration to help you get started:

Powered by Whrrl

Now that you're all excited, try to calm down, focus your mind and read the fine print.

Rules to enter:

1. Locate your most awesome photo (aka most appealing composition and capture, meaning the photo matches the theme, it's a cute shot, and the quality of the picture is good, read not all blurry and grainy and gross) of your kid in costume.

2. Email (parentingbydummies[at]gmail[dot]com) it to me (agreeing to allow me to post it on the blog) and put photo contest in the subject line (so I can find it).

3. Leave a comment here saying I'm the most amazing blogger you've ever seen you've entered to win!

4. Follow me.

5. Tell all your friends about me. This one is optional, but I feel like it's really the most important factor.

Contest opens today and runs through October 31,2009.

Top five finalist will be chosen (by me) and posted on the blog for votes.

Voting will begin Monday, November 2nd, and will be open until midnight Friday, November 6th.

Winner will be announced November 7th.

Before I go, let me also take a moment to recognize this week's Thursday Thank You recipients.

Gratitude is shared equally between 2 amazing companies who have made my life easier recently: UPrinting (who provided the thank you cards seen below that have forever transformed PBD's Thursday Thank Yous), and Celebrate Express (who sent out the super costumes (seen in slideshow) for the dudes to sport this Halloween).





Card reads: Dear UPrinting and Celebrate Express, Thank you for making things run a little more smoothly around Casa de Dummies. I'm so not smart enough to figure this whole mom business out on my own. Thanks to people like you for making it so I don't have to. You rock!

P.S. If you want to enter to win the Looney Tunes basket, click here. Contest ends tomorrow so hurry up!

Spook-kay

Casa de Dummies is filled with scardey cats.

And, we're gonna talk about because my girl, Mama Kat said I should:)!

We are a family living in fear.

Actually, that's not as bad as it sounds since fear, or should I say protection from scary crap, can be quite the bargaining chip.

It's just funny when you sit and think about all the things that we are afraid of collectively, especially the irrational fears.

Really, it's a wonder we ever even go outta the house (oh, that's right, we kinda don't).

Take me for example.

You all should know by now that I'm spooked by outer space.



Yes, that's the standard, home of the sun and the moon, outer space. The one full of mysterious planets, menacing black holes, and the concept of traveling at the speed of light (which totally freaks me out and is quite possibly the catalyst for my fear).

It's not like I'm scared of winding up in space (you know, 'cause NASA is really recruiting SAHMs of sub-par intelligence to galavant around in space).

It's the idea of space, it's uncontrollable vastness (since I'm a control freak); it's never ending neverendingness (since I like definitive things with a clear beginning and end), and it's uncharted bits (since I need to know exactly where I'm going and how I'm getting there, particularly in the midst of space travel).

But, it's not just me.

#1, he's afraid of girls (and scarecrows, but there's nothing irrational about that 'cause those things are creep-y).



It's not that he's actually admitted this fear, but it's totally obvious as every time he's in the presence of a girl he plasters on his please-don't-look-at-me-I'm-hideous face and kicks rocks like Charlie Brown. Oh, and he tries to drown himself or throw himself into incoming traffic, depending on the availability of each.

It's not the fear that's irrational (many grown men are afraid of women, as they should be), it's his response that's kooky.

#3, he seems to be scared of the idea that one day he could suddenly be without food.

So, to combat this fear, and prepare for it, he makes it his daily quest to eat everything in sight. Every. Thing.

#2 has the worst of it.

He's built up a library of irrational fears that seem to govern his life.

I'm not certain of the exact reason for this, but I've narrowed it down to two things:

1) He spends a great deal of his time getting into sh** making bad choices and attempting to avoid the consequences of those. People who live on the edge have a reason to be afraid; if not because they fear the consequences, then because they have first hand knowledge of just how effing crazy people can be.

2) He asks questions and when people don't know the answer, they make one up leading him to strange, and frightening conclusions.

Mimi is a chronic offender in this (which is why she's earned this week's Thursday's Thank You).

She has spawned his fear of the cops (all you have to do is mention that they are in the vicinity and he straightens up and flies right, like he's got a pistol stashed under his booster seat) by her former obsession with COPS (the show). The kid knew the theme song by heart and could accurately reenact a Tasing by the time he was two. You should seem him do it; acting genius!

Mimi is also responsible for his belief of the Booga Bear (a forest dwelling 2nd cousin of the Boogie Man). And, while this has come in handy around bedtime (I strategically avoided clearing this one up), it did lead to an unnatural fear of camping, hiking, and fishing that didn't bother me directly (as I hate all these activities as they put me in close contact with dirt and bugs), but did make for a time consuming and embarrassing explanation to witnesses.

And, lastly, Mimi can be blamed for the child's fear of masturbation (or whatever it is they are doing when they are rubbing their mini man parts raw from sun up to sundown). I'm not particularly against him being a little scared of this (something about my baby jerkin' it makes me wanna hurl), but according to developmental professionals this is natural and normal and helps him develop a healthy sexual whatever Last thing I need on my hands is some outcast, sexual deviant to deal with. Never mind the professionals, Mimi, in her infinite wisdom informed him that if he yanks it too much it will fall off (apparently that's what happened to her), which scared the jerk right outta him. Unfortunately, it has also had the unintended affect of confusing him about the difference between boys and girls (since Mimi is WAY smarter than me). No matter what I say he is convinced that boys & girls are the exact same at birth. Girls just couldn't get enough of the hand action leading them to spend the remained of their lives as eunuchs.

I'm convinced this is Mimi's way of punishing me for being an annoying brat as a child (and sometimes even now).

Well played, Mimi.

Well played.

Thank you, and you're welcome.



Inside reads: Dear Mimi, Thank you for confusing my child regarding law enforcement procedures, supernatural beings, and sex. Lucky for me I have the next 10-14 years to straighten it all out. Let's hope this doesn't make him one of those crazy leprechaun spotting, sex freaks, who run from the cops 'cause they "was scurd (aka scared)". If that turns out to be the case, you will be identified as his primary care giver so blame can be accurately assigned. Why don't you just take over now, you know, to prevent future complications? His bag is packed. Good luck! XOXO, Dumb Mom


Disclaimer: I would never actually give my child away. At least not for free. And, don't steal this lovely card design, BFF will take you out!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

Most of you (aside from my newest friends, "Hi new friends, don't leave, stay, we have fun here!" imagine me waving hysterically), are used to my standard Thursday Thank Yous/Mama Kat posts.

In an effort to not disappoint the masses (and by masses I mean the 15 or so people who read this disjointed mess of mine on a daily basis), I will continue in that tradition today.

With one minor change.

I'm gonna really mean it this week. This person honest-to-goodness-really-and-truly-no-doubt-about-it-100-percent deserves to be thanked, again, and again, and again.

So, without further ado. I'm sending this one out to someone we all know and love: Mimi!

Today is her birthday. And, I'm not gonna disclose her age, but you can imagine, if I'm 25 (and I totally am), she's what, maybe 38 (ignore what that implies about her character)?




She pretty much looks exactly like this today, minus the unnecessarily large glasses, the mini-afro, and the hideous sweater vest.



See! Still as beautiful (I'd argue even more so since there have been marked improvements in hairstyle and overall fashion sense) as ever.

Regardless of her real age (or mine for that matter), she is a timeless beauty, a diamond in the rough, a gift from above, the one human being with whom I'd struggle to have made it through so much without.

So, Mimi, Mom, thank you.

Thank you for loving me and my little band of brothers so intensely and unconditionally. Your support and devotion astound me daily, and I pray that my boys will one day feel that I was even one tenth of the mom that you are to me (and at times to them).

Since you are the only one who appreciates these, enjoy!

Thank you and your welcome. Oh, and Mama Kat (Mistress of Writer's Workshop), guess what? I made this. Boo-yah, baby!



Card Reads: (Poem on top) Roses are red, tires are black. If you weren't my mom, I'm sure I'd be wack. I wouldn't be funny, or remotely cool. I'm certain that all, I would be is a fool. I'm glad you're my mom, what more can I say? Other than have, a happy birthday! (Words on bottom) Thanks a ton for only laughing a little (after you make sure I'm okay) when I fall down, and for always laughing the hardest when I say something funny. You are my biggest fan, and everyone needs a fan (preferably not of the psychotic-wear-your-skin-'cause-it-smells-purdy variety), right?! I love you. XOXO, Dumb Mom

All gifts can be forwarded directly to Casa de Dummies where they will be thoroughly inspected for appropriateness. Thanks!

Thanks. For Nuthin'

It's Thursday, so let me say thanks.

To the most deserving recipient of Thursday's Thank You so far.

Thank you, and you're welcome.





Card Reads: Dear Horribly Bad Economy, Thank you so much for allowing me to have more time to spend with my family. Due to the fact that you can't get your head outta the toilet, my employer has informed me that I will no longer be as gainfully employed as I once was. They can't afford to keep all of the people like me, and unless you shape up, my status there will remain uncertain (or nonexistent). Normally I would take this out on senior management by flooding their inboxes with well written letters of disdain. However, I realize that this is not entirely their fault. They too are victims of your butt suckiness. And, I would seek another opportunity, but, Economy, it seems you have ruined all of those too. I am unable to locate a reasonable position that pays more than, say, crap. I encourage you to clean up this mess you have made of my life before something bad happens, something that would require me to beat your poor decision making a**. Additionally, please forward this correspondence to all of the idiots you are in cahoots with. Inform them that they, too, have been warned. It's the least you could do. Oh, and, tell War, Politics, and Global Warming to watch their backs; I'm coming for them. Game on. XOXO, Dumb Mom

So, can you tell who's got me red hot this week, Mama Kat?

When I posted the "No Post Post" earlier in the week, I was in the midst of this whole ordeal; feeling down and depressed and pitiful and stuff.

I didn't want to post about it and jinx any hope that I had of salvaging things.

But, now that I know more, I'm letting the cat outta the bag, 'cause I know some of you nosy faithful readers have been dying to know who stole Dumb Mom's funny.

The uncertainty was just getting me down a bit, making me all annoyingly self pitying and whiny and gross.

I'm thankful that we don't rely on my income for food, or shelter, or transportation. The stress of that would have been overwhelming, because as it was the fear of losing my handbag budget was almost unbearable.

Over it (not totally, but enough to stop being all Eeyore about it, because I know things in life could be WAY worse).

I have since gotten some promising information. For now, I will be able to work some hours (not exactly how many I want, but it's something) as long as I can change my schedule around some and be (extremely) flexible. Better than canned, I say.

So, I'm moving on, and hopeful that things will work out for me there, or anywhere (highly educated, friendly, dedicated, and reliable employee with tons of experience in many different industries, in case you're lookin') because life without handbags is no life at all (plus, #2 needs to go to preschool and he won't be if this doesn't work itself out).

In other news, I am completely over Jillian's cast off Bachelors.

I totally fell in love last night!

With a vampire!

Go ahead and kick me, but I just discovered the joy of Edward Cullen.

I'm gonna buy the book this weekend and read the hell out of it, so please forgive me if I'm not in top form on the blog in the near future, I'm going to be exhausted from reading and working graveyard shift.

P.S. Thanks for all the well wishes on Monday. You guys are the bestes! And, today's card is courtesy of Duck Duck Goose Designs. If you'd like to win some of your own, click here for my giveaway which ends Friday night!

Saturday Swag-urday

It's Saturday again peeps and I have a sweet little down home (she's from the South) stationary company to share with you all.

Duck Duck Goose Designs is owned and operated by Wendy, a mom to four little ones under the age of 5!

Not sure how she finds time to create such gorgeous stuff, but she does it, and they are so stinking cute!

You know I'm a sucker for some cute stationary and she has so many original designs, like this one that she sent to me to try out.



Cute, right. And, in case you are that stalker that's been lurking around here creeping everybody out, my name is not Jessica Hinton, it's just an alias to throw you and all your crazy friends off my trail. Brilliant (rubs hands together all sinister like).

And, she doesn't just make cards. She makes stickers, and bag tags, and t-shirts, and all kinds of other totally perfect stuff that can be personalized (or not) for you if you like.

Wanna win a set of 10 persoanlized cards like this one for yourself?

Of course you do, silly, because free stuff is awesome.

All you have to do is head over to Wendy's Etsy shop, hang out there for a bit, check out all of her awesomeness (don't steal anything!), and then come back here and tell me which design you would like if you could choose any one you wanted.

Contest starts now and runs until midnight on Friday July, 31st.

The winner will be announced on my next Saturday Swag-urday post.

So hurry up and enter already so you can start sending out handwritten thank you cards to all those people in your life that truly deserve them!

If you want to increase your chances of winning just:
1. Follow me here(b/c you totally love me, right? You do, don't you? Huh? Huh? Don't you love me?!). 1 extra entry

2. Follow me on Twitter @thenagainphoto (b/c you totally love me, and you can't get enough of me!). 2 extra entries

3. Tweet about this giveaway (b/c you totally love me, and you want the world to know about me too!). 3 extra entries (1 tweet per person/per day and make sure you Tweet it to @thenagainphoto so I will be able to find it!)

Thanks for looking and feel free to add your own giveaways, contests, and reviews to the Mr. Linky thingy!



PS: Want to order from Duck Duck Goose? Wendy has offered PBD readers a 10% off coupon! Just enter "dumbmom" as your coupon code when you check out to take advantage of this special offer!

With this Hand...

I have decided to revive a forgotten art form.

The hand written note.

It's almost gone, and (generally) completely forgotten.

But, I am seeking to bring back this handy form of expression.

Although it may not be as quick as email or as trendy as Twitter, taking the time to sit down, get out your favorite writing instrument and a beautifully adorned bit of stationary (this monkey themed one is from Target) to hand write a note, demonstrates your sincerity.

It shows that you were genuinely affected by the behavior, profoundly touched by the gesture, or passionately moved by the event.

Or, in my case it shows that you were so shocked and amazed by the audacity and outlandishness of the incident that you could think of nothing else to do but to say thank you.

Thank you for reminding me that people really are amazing.

Thank you for allowing me to marvel in the fact that some members of the human race really do suck.

And, thank you for, if nothing else, making me laugh (so I don't cry).

Welcome to Thursday Thank You, a service that was partially inspired by Mama Kat's Thursday Assignment (I picked the write a letter one this week), but mostly inspired by crazy.

Thank you and, you're welcome.


Your Friend,
Dumb Mom

(It reads: Dear General Contractor, Thank you for knocking on my door every evening this week just as I was sitting down to dinner with my family. I guess I was unclear when I informed you I was uninterested in $12,000 of replacement windows. Although painfully obvious that I need them, I am as yet unable to locate 12K in unmarked bills to pay you with. I would greatly appreciate if you would go back to harassing me via telephone; you are much easier to ignore if you are not standing on my porch. XOXO)

Come back next week for another heartfelt thank you.

And, don't forget to enter my giveaway here!