Wordful Wednesday

I've been really busy lately (blog stalking, celebrity stalking, and chocolate chip cookie stalking pretty much eats up all of my free time).

But, this weekend I freed my schedule and 2/3 of the dudes and I, took a trip to "the city" (that's what you call it when you live out in the country like we do).

It was so much fun. Like, the "best I ever had" (name that tune?).

I don't think I've had that kind of fun, since, I don't even know when.

I hate to say it, but I think we had such a blast because we left this little knucklehead (and Hubby) at home for the day



so that #1, #2, and I could have some special Mommy time together (plus, for some reason that should be punishable by death, the National Aquarium in Baltimore does not allow strollers so, had #3 accompanied us, we would have seen all of the fish at warp speed as we ran thru the place in hot pursuit of the baby who has wheels for feet).

We went down to Baltimore's Inner Harbor to test drive a new exhibit at Port Discovery, called Access Ability.



Because this was like a pre-museum opening type deal we had to get there @ the butt crack of dawn (which for us is like 8:30).

It was a fun, but short trip. We checked out the exhibit, the local news covered it (but somehow omitted our smiling faces from the final cut), and we were sent packing (nicely, of course, by the sweetly smiling face of Kate, their marketing maven).

Not one for wasting gas (Baltimore is like 50 miles from my house) I figured, let's break the bank (literally) and go to the aquarium. We're here, we're here early, and we're here minus one so might as well.

We saw it all.

The 4-D Immersion theater...



The dolphin show...



The jelly fish, the fancy fish, and even the famous fish (Nemo!)



We spent 3 hours running casually strolling through that place, reading every sign, experiencing every creature, enjoying every moment like the babyless travelers we were (and, since it cost $70 to get in the place, we wanted to take advantage of every nook and cranny they were selling).

And, afterward we were famished, of course.

So, we went for fries and shakes (no healthy eating today, it was a par-tay!) at Johnny Rockets.

Of course we could have chosen any type of exotic cuisiene at the Harbor (it is a tourist trap, after all), but we wanted to do something all the no-need-for-a-high-chair ballers get to do: sit at the bar!

#2 even did his fancy schmansy "sittin' at the bar" dance for us...



Once we were packed with greasy goodness, we contemplated heading home.

But, we couldn't!

There were fountains to run through.



Street performers to heckle (actually, it was him who was heckling us for not putting cash in his pot. Sorry pal, it's a recession and this day trip is breaking me!).



And, science.



As a wise woman (aka BFF) once said, "Go big or go home!"

So, big it was; we added the Maryland Science Center, to our day o' fun!

We got to see the dinosaurs, lay on a bed of nails, explore the human body, and be guniea pigs in the name of science.



And, somehow, I got suckered into the Planetarium (thought we were gonna see the constellations) for some spooky presentation about black matter (or some equally abstract and frightening concept) in outer space.



Now, you can't tell me that doesn't look like some creepy-I'm-gonna-get-you-sucka-Houston-we-have-a-problem-danger-Will-Robinson weapon of mass destruction.

It's for space, man. Outer freakin' space.

Booo!

Booo for space and it's evil instruments of death!

I took a nap (you know, to prevent from having a space induced panic attack).

We rounded out our baby-free-stress-free-bickering-free-awesome-filled day with the Newton's Alley exhibit where the dudes got to experience, hands on, all of Newton's laws (I think they have to do with like gravity or motion or some beyond me mumbo jumbo that is totally out of my realm of understanding, but kinda cool when presented in an interactive museum exhibit).

See? It included this fun little Mousetrap (rememeber that game?) doohickey.



So, should you ever find yourself in Baltimore, be sure to give me a ring.

We'll meet up.

You can buy me lunch and pay for me to get into all of the attractions.

Then, you can watch me chase my spirited toddler through all of the exhibits because, let's face it, the baby free day was totally a one time deal made possible entirely by the brodcasting of football (besides, you don't really need to take your time now, just read the blog, you get the idea).

It'll be great.

P.S. Did you spot my girl Mona in one of those shots? Be sure to check back here tomorrow to get the full rundown on Mona's visit to PBD!

MDMB GNO

Sometimes an unworthy, unmotivated, and highly unsuspecting mommy is presented with an opportunity.

Sometimes, such a seemingly undeserving mom considers shirking such an opportunity by blowing it off and dismissing it as nothing.

But, sometimes, as unaware as she maybe, that undeserving mama jumps on that opportunity and hangs on for all she is worth, vowing not to let go unless her cold, dead, unbelievably-strong-for-being-so-plump fingers are pried free.

She tucks herself into her granny girdle, she covers herself with her purdy clothes and her out of style square toe boots, and she packs herself into her stereotypical sport utility vehicle to brave the traffic and the city folk so she can confront this opportunity head on like the formerly-fierce-business-savvy-I-am-woman-hear-me-roar go-getter she used to be (or was certainly just about to be) before she became in the family way and unselfishly devoted herself (mind, body, and soul) to her husband and children.

She polishes off her rusty social skills and her friendly smile so she doesn't scare all the nice people who invited her to a child free play date.

Once this mom of three is fully immersed in the beauty of this opportunity, she could spend her time there in fear, alternating between a sense of awestruck speechlessness and horrified silence. She may bite her tongue to prevent from being found out as the full blown idiot poser she truly is, while simultaneously wishing she could use her salad fork to gouge her eardrums out to prevent having to listen to further proof of exactly how awesome her compadres truly are, since she may be feeling highly inadequate and horribly bloated? (Shoulda passed on the cheese bread).

She then may spend the remainder of the dinner doing any or all of the following things: hoping that her tasteless jokes (jeez, not even drinking) and inappropriate comments are not misconstrued, taken too seriously, or ever repeated since she only really said them outta nervousness; trying to keep her chin up and her face in the perfect sorta-smiling-but-not-totally-goof-and-certainly-not-frowning pose since the cameras are flashing from every angle and she'd hate to have her fat face (as opposed to her less fat face) show up in its double chinned, saggy joweled glory on some one's blog; and wondering if she really shoulda just skipped this thing all together, not because these women aren't awesome, because they totally are, but because now that she likes these lovely ladies she will be even more devastated when they realize that she is the lazy, undeserving, ogre we spoke of previously and she has to face the horror of the girl dump (which is like ten times more humiliating and unbearable than the dude dump because you can't blame it on superficial things entirely and have to accept that it is something unchangeable, like your personality, as opposed to something a few hard weeks at the gym, like your less than stellar badonkadonk, can fix).

And, if these aren't enough to make one shy away from the challenge, perhaps the possibility of getting lost in the inner city of Baltimore will do it.

The Inner Harbor is a beautiful tourist destination, but just a few short blocks and a series of not-all-that-obviously-wrong turns and you are in the middle of The Wire season finale (minus the cameras and that sorta attractive guy that wound up as Michael's replacement on the Office) in which the expendable character (an unassuming mom of three) vanishes without a trace leaving viewers waiting many months to discover her fate.

Actually, from what I recall (it's still a blur that I am trying to block out), it was a pretty good cross section of The Wire, Boys in the Hood, Resident Evil, and some show about lions on Animal Planet.

I'm certain I saw a dirty cop, a gang fight (although isn't gang banging like so 1992?), a zombie climbing up the side of an abandoned building, and a full blown cat fight, featuring real street cats, that did not break up for a strange chick in a motor vehicle (yep, actually had to honk twice and wait for them to move).

It was quite possibly the scariest night of my adult life.

And, I've been to the hood before (might have even lived there briefly, but I try to block that out too).

Numerous times.

I used to kick it hard core in the hood, Homie.

But, that was different because: a.) I chose to go there, b.) I never went unaccompanied by a local, and c.) I was too young to understand that my life was quite possibly hanging on by a thread (not so much because of the humans, it's the stray dogs I'm afraid of).

Not to mention that this area of Baltimore is not even "the hood". I'm pretty sure that this place would be considered the hood's hood. I'd bet if you tried to find it during the day it would be like trying to find Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and for you non-Harry Potter fans (do non-Harry Potter fans even exist, because they shouldn't?!) that basically means you couldn't. It's this freaky place that only comes alive at night when the dregs that frequent it climb up outta the sewers.

And, that's not to say that everyone in the hood is a bad/scary/lawbreaking/innocent-woman-killing/gun toting/drug dealing/gang-banging looney toon (so don't get your granny pants in a bunch).

That's just to say that pretty much everyone I saw this particular night (which included some hideously skinny lady with something that looked strangely like a syringe sticking outta her arm, the street walking whore, and the group of shifty eyed dudes standing on the porch that had a steady stream of traffic up and down it's dilapidated steps) probably was.

So, yeah.

Now that I made it home, I can say that getting swag from: Dunkin Donuts (@dunkindonuts), Shaklee by Clean Mama (@AboutShaklee), Piggy Paint (@PiggyPaint) Piggy Paint and WAT-AAH! (@WAT AAH), Candlelight Ghost Tours of Frederick, Dancing Bear Toys & Gifts (@dbeartoys), Maryland Ensemble Theatre FUNCompany (@mdensemble), Author Kristin Kish Whyte - “One More Minute” book and Maryland Life Magazine (@marylandlife), was 100 percent worth every moment of discomfort (including the discomfort of having to experience Baltimore's spooky blue lights).

And, I can say with complete confidence that, if you get the chance to hook up with 8 truly inspiring, dedicated, intelligent, over achieving women like the Maryland Mom Bloggers (aka Safire from Living in Maryland, Joanne from Barely Domestic Mama (@BarelyDomestic), Lara from Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom (@dipaolamomma), MaryMac from Pajamas and Coffee (@marymac), Jennifer from Hip As I Wanna Be (@MammaMania), Jill from Scary Mommy (@scarymommy), and Lolli from Better in Bulk) as I did, do yourself a favor, make sure you know how to get home so that the most harrowing story of the night can be regarding the strange (but surprisingly delicious) weenies the awesome people at La Tasca served you for dinner.

A Day Trip In Pictures

Yesterday. I did something awesome.

Something totally un-Dumb Mom-ish.

I (and my sidekick, aka Mimi) took my dudes to the city.



Baltimore City.

And, it was so fun!

Don't get too overexcited.

We didn't go anywhere daring (like the bus station).

But, we did go someplace fun!



I know, they don't look like they are about to have fun, but they totally did!

Port Discovery is a huge children's museum and (get ready for this) it's 100% hands-on-action-packed-even-#3-can't-break-it-three-levels of awesomeness.

When we first arrived and realized that to get in we'd have to pay $12.95 per person which came up to like 40 bucks or something (I'm no math whiz, you figure it out), I thought, "This place better be the bomb diggity."

And, you know what?

It kinda was.

After spending a good chunk of the day there I was able to put the cost into perspective: a movie is like $10 and this place was way better than a movie!

There were just tons of fun things to do.

#3 learned to drive.



#2 was able to get some shopping done and ring it up himself (now maybe he will quit jockin' me about it at the grocery store).



And, #1 got to lose himself (literally) in this 3 story monster of a climbing, sliding, crawling apparatus.



There was horse back riding...



Tomb Raiding...



Even a pick up soccer game...



And, while the place was primarily #3 proof, he did get to break something and no one even cared...



Okay, so maybe this one kid cared a little and possibly cried for like a couple of minutes, but that's it, and we totally thought she was done playing with it, and really, she should just be glad I have lightening quick reflexes because they are seriously the only thing that prevented her form being bludgeoned by #3 as he excitedly beat the crap outta this log cabin dealy with a stray stick.

But, other than that. All good.

We decided to enjoy lunch outside of the museum (can exit and reenter as much as you want between 10am and 5pm), you know, to take in some local cuisine.

So, to get a real taste of the inner city, we went here...



It may look familiar, but this was a special, Baltimore flavored version of the golden arches.

They had a custom soda dispenser (and by custom, I mean broke the hell up).



They had vintage, metal legged, high chairs (and by vintage, I mean old as hell, will probably collapse and severe a limb if you put your baby in them).



They had unique facilities (and by unique, I mean dirty as hell, thought for a minute we actually were at the bus station).

And, they even had a sign posted which stated that there was a 30 minute dine-in time limit. Woof it down kids, lest they think we're some kind of vagrants.

We didn't spend a lot of time there (less than 30 minutes, didn't want to cut it too close), and then high tailed it back over to the museum for more fun.

We finally left when #3 demonstrated that he was downright exhausted (he laid on the museum floor and tried to take a nap).

I thought it was a hit.

Actually I thought:

Cost of gas to museum: $20
Entrance fees to museum: $40
Seeing the dudes have unbridled, imaginative fun: priceless

And, then I went to pay for my parking and thought, Ah-Hell-to-the-no!

It was $13! I seriously coulda taken an extra kid into the museum for that price.

Way to ruin it, overpriced-non-validating-mother-thieving-parking-deck-owners.

All thanks goes to CK over at Bab Mommy Moments for encouraging me to think outside the I'm-pretty-sure-I'm-scared-to-go-out-in-public-with-my-kids box. Totally worth it!