Only, since I was wholly unsuccessful in my last baking attempt (see when good cakes go bad) I decided to put it in the hands of the youth.
No one is gonna tell some innocent (not always, but this time) preschoolers and a toddler that their cookies suck.
So, I figured we’d have ourselves a little cookie party with Mom of Girls (neighborhood friend we play with constantly and have mentioned on blog previously but can’t find post, so that’s it in a nutshell) and her two little ladies for this week’s Cookie Time Tuesday Showcase.
And these cookies are seriously the easiest, most delicious lovelies you are ever gonna bake.
Here’s what you do.
Crazy Cool Cuttable Cookies
1. Drop #1 off at school.
2. Speed to grocery store with a groggy #2 and a pajamed #3 to pick up cutout cookie baking supplies.
3. Go to first store only to discover that cutout cookie making supplies are unavailable.
4. Curse quietly under your breath so old lady walking past can’t hear, but just loud enough that #3 CAN hear, and repeat your potty-mouthed-old-lady-offending curse.
5. Stick your tongue out at old lady after she tsks you (waiting until her back is turned of course; don’t want to have to mollywop an old lady).
6. Instead of loading children back into car to visit store next door, decide to walk (it looked really close) and enjoy the sun (it’s December, I was wearing a coat, and now, because of the freakishly warm weather I smell like a goat).
7. Finally arrive at store #2 and purchase the main cutout cookie ingredient: the cookies. That’s right people, gasp and balk and act all better than me now, but seriously I have a bad track record with rollout cookies and I wasn’t gonna risk screwing them up with 4 five and under cookie-party-anticipating children depending on me.
8. In addition to the cookies remember to get icing to decorate with. And, while we’re at it, better get some extra (WTH?! Why are these dang things so friggin’ expensive? GRRRR!) sprinkles. Don’t want a fight to break out over the one sprinkles shaker (which, now that I think about it, is definitively fall themed) we own.
9. Pay.
10. Realize how close it is to party start time.
11. Walk back to car super fast (non-stroller-using children will probably need to run, maybe even sprint to keep up).
12. Buckle children in car.
13. Drive across parking lot and realize that the Christmas themed cookie cutters are still stored in the attic.
14. Decide that pumpkins are not gonna cut it (get it? cut it?!) for the cookie party festivities.
15. Bust a u-turn in the parking lot.
16. Unbuckle children from the car.
17. Go into Joanna’s to find ON SALE cookie cutters you saw on Black Friday for $6.99.
18. Locate cookie cutters and realize they are no longer $6.99, they are instead $13.99. Also note the holiday sprinkles at Joann’s are only .99 cents.
19. Curse again.
20. Admonish #3 for following in your cavewoman like footsteps.
21. Wait in a ridiculously long line, in a ridiculously hot store, with a ridiculously loud toddler who is now begging for Pop Tarts and announcing to everyone within earshot that he cut a “poopie-fart”.
22. Purchase cookie cutters.
23. Buckle children in car.
24. Race home.
25. Spend 10 minutes changing the product of aforementioned poopie-farts.
26. Give self a sponge bath in sink to wash away the stench generated by running across parking lots in blazing hot sun (it was almost 70 degrees…in DECEMBER!) in a parka, a sweat shirt, and a pair of long johns (and no, I do not watch the weather report).
27. Roll out premade cookie dough 2 minutes before Mom of Girls shows up, which is just enough time to make it look like you are the picture of hosting awesomeness.
28. Let the kids go to work…
…which includes allowing Mr.-Fastest-Hands-in-the-East to eat two of his cookies in the raw (which is like a delicacy, right, or is that just sushi?).
29. Enjoy their masterpieces almost as much as they do.
30. Thank your lucky stars that you decided not to make the damn things from scratch!
