Bite Me

I've found a lovely new meaning for this phrase.

It's taking over my life and turning me into the brooding-love-sick-boy-crazy teenager I once was.

I used to consider this phrase as simply my natural response to the errant motorist who decided to give me the bird (for no reason at all b/c bad driving is my pet peeve, which naturally means I'm never at fault), or the disgruntled Walmart employee who refuses to allow me to return something that is so obviously from their craptastic store.

These situations provoked me to yell (while in my car with the windows tightly rolled up), or at least think (and possibly mutter as I exited to the parking lot) my favorite phrase: Bite me.

Now, bite me provokes something else entirely.

It causes me to summon images such as this:



Because I am obsessed with the life (or non life, or whatever it is) of Stephenie Meyer's vampires (they are of the fictional sort, please do not leave comments on this post if you are, or think you may be a real life vampire; I'm so not down with that), their werewolf enemies, and their human sidekick.

I tried to avoid it. I made jokes about it. I ridiculed, I teased.

But, alas, I too have fallen victim to the vampire/werewolf/human love triangle elaborated upon in Twilight, and I don't want to be saved.

As a matter of fact, I got a commemorative poster of the cast when I purchased the book. I'm considering posting it alongside my bed (so high school, right), so I can go to sleep and wake up to Edward's intense stare. Think Hubby will go along with that? Yeah, me neither.

There's a possibility that he is jealous of the time I've been spending with this young (hot-alluring-so-easy-to-fall-in-love-with-never-mind-damnation) vampire.

Can not wait until November when I can stand in line (on line?) with all the tweens and teens to be the first to glimpse Edward Cullen (and Bella, but not as much) in the second installment of the film, New Moon.

So. Excited.

And, if you are one of those rare people who read but didn't enjoy the series (I mean, the SAGA), then you can bite me, and I mean that in the traditional sense of the term:).


P.S.Photo courtesy of Summit Entertainment, though wouldn't I love to be a little camera toting fly on the wall wherever they shot this movie?!

Thanks. For Nuthin'

It's Thursday, so let me say thanks.

To the most deserving recipient of Thursday's Thank You so far.

Thank you, and you're welcome.





Card Reads: Dear Horribly Bad Economy, Thank you so much for allowing me to have more time to spend with my family. Due to the fact that you can't get your head outta the toilet, my employer has informed me that I will no longer be as gainfully employed as I once was. They can't afford to keep all of the people like me, and unless you shape up, my status there will remain uncertain (or nonexistent). Normally I would take this out on senior management by flooding their inboxes with well written letters of disdain. However, I realize that this is not entirely their fault. They too are victims of your butt suckiness. And, I would seek another opportunity, but, Economy, it seems you have ruined all of those too. I am unable to locate a reasonable position that pays more than, say, crap. I encourage you to clean up this mess you have made of my life before something bad happens, something that would require me to beat your poor decision making a**. Additionally, please forward this correspondence to all of the idiots you are in cahoots with. Inform them that they, too, have been warned. It's the least you could do. Oh, and, tell War, Politics, and Global Warming to watch their backs; I'm coming for them. Game on. XOXO, Dumb Mom

So, can you tell who's got me red hot this week, Mama Kat?

When I posted the "No Post Post" earlier in the week, I was in the midst of this whole ordeal; feeling down and depressed and pitiful and stuff.

I didn't want to post about it and jinx any hope that I had of salvaging things.

But, now that I know more, I'm letting the cat outta the bag, 'cause I know some of you nosy faithful readers have been dying to know who stole Dumb Mom's funny.

The uncertainty was just getting me down a bit, making me all annoyingly self pitying and whiny and gross.

I'm thankful that we don't rely on my income for food, or shelter, or transportation. The stress of that would have been overwhelming, because as it was the fear of losing my handbag budget was almost unbearable.

Over it (not totally, but enough to stop being all Eeyore about it, because I know things in life could be WAY worse).

I have since gotten some promising information. For now, I will be able to work some hours (not exactly how many I want, but it's something) as long as I can change my schedule around some and be (extremely) flexible. Better than canned, I say.

So, I'm moving on, and hopeful that things will work out for me there, or anywhere (highly educated, friendly, dedicated, and reliable employee with tons of experience in many different industries, in case you're lookin') because life without handbags is no life at all (plus, #2 needs to go to preschool and he won't be if this doesn't work itself out).

In other news, I am completely over Jillian's cast off Bachelors.

I totally fell in love last night!

With a vampire!

Go ahead and kick me, but I just discovered the joy of Edward Cullen.

I'm gonna buy the book this weekend and read the hell out of it, so please forgive me if I'm not in top form on the blog in the near future, I'm going to be exhausted from reading and working graveyard shift.

P.S. Thanks for all the well wishes on Monday. You guys are the bestes! And, today's card is courtesy of Duck Duck Goose Designs. If you'd like to win some of your own, click here for my giveaway which ends Friday night!