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Thursday, July 9, 2009

When I grow up...

I want to be like...

Mama Kat? She is awesome, no?! Actually, she's the inspiration for this week's assignment and if you'd like to see more you can visit her here!


What first comes to mind is that I want to be like my mom. She's strong, and smart, and funny (not as funny as me, but she tries).

She is the most awesome mom around, which is good and bad.

Good because, really, who doesn't want to have been raised by an awesome mom? Never had to worry about her smoking crack, street walking, or cracking my skull with a baseball bat. She was pretty Sesame Street when I was growing up, and other than a couple of minor incidents (like this one time, at the pool), she's never really embarrassed me or anything like that.

But, it's bad too. Because, my kids, who are ridiculously infatuated with their Mimi, hold me to a much higher standard than I am able (or even willing) to attain.

They pretty much think that I am a sub par, substitute (fatter, dorkier, more annoying) version of Mimi for those occasions that she can't be around (which unluckily for them is most everyday of the week).

This is how bad it is: Sometime around my last birthday, we were discussing how old they thought I was going to be.

Me: So, dudes (yes, I really call them that), how old do you think I'm going to be?
#1: I don't know.
#2: Like 48.
Me: No, not 48. Just guess...
#1: I don't know. I guess you'll be like 30.
#2: Yeah. Or like 100.
Me: Tell me this. Who do you think is older, me or Dad?
#1: Dad (obviously, 'cause he's an old fart)
Me: Okay. Then who do you think is older, me or Mimi.
#1: You. Mimi is not old she is young! (said with moral outrage and indignation)

Great. I'm older than my own mom?

Obviously, their evidence is flawed (possibly because Mimi likes to tell them she is 29). But, they really believe that since I am the sterner-slower-more-appreciative-of-quite-less-fun version of Mimi, I must be older.

Point is, it's already too late where my own kids are concerned, so I'm hoping that one day, when I'm a grown up, I'll be a mimi a lot like Mimi.

'Cause, if nothing else, she's so dang cute!

Or, if I'm super lucky (or stupid) I could grow up to be just like this role model mom who was kind enough to leave this lovely comment as a guide to personal improvement on the blog I write for the local paper.

Hmmm.. like so many other "newbie" parents I see these days... WHO CONTROLS WHOM??? GET UP and MOVE your child when you tell them to move and they stare at you blankly like you are speaking an unfamiliar language (although all languages are becoming familiar in this country these days); SIT your kids down next you you and TELL THEM to BEHAVE! DON'T let your kids run around like wild animals - that is what the PARK IS FOR! I had my first child at 17, granted I was the 2nd of 11 children, so I have plenty of experience with kids, but I AM THE PARENT, and I TELL MY KIDS what they can and can't do... PERIOD! All four daughters have grown into incredible, well-mannered, respectful, and respectable young ladies (two have graduated and two more in high school - on honor roll!) YOU MUST MAKE your children obedient children - they will respect you if you give them the fear of repercussions of their action should they not. THAT is EXACTLY what today's families are lacking - there is no fear of repercussions because there AREN'T ANY!!! Don't be afraid to punish your child(ren) for not being obedient! You don't have to beat them up to get them to hear you - just be a loving parent who respects the job of raising children. You brought them into this world it is YOUR responsibility to control them, to teach them, to guide them - NOT A VILLAGE'S!!!!

I decided to thank her this Thursday. Since, you know, she deserves it.

Thank you, and you're welcome.

Card reads: Dear Hometown Hero, I am sending you this note to thank you for the insightful parenting tips you left on my blog. I truly count on individuals like yourself to show me the error of my bad parenting ways, to lead me down the path of righteousness, where you permanently reside. Were it not for your helpful tips I'm sure that my offspring would remain as incorrigible wild animals. As I trust the knowledge of someone who gave birth to her first child at 17, maybe you can tell me how I could get a 17 month old to sit still in a chair for and hour and a half. I'd love to hear your expert tips! Anyone who has gotten their children successfully through high school should certainly be respected and admired for accomplishing such a feat. And, though my own college education has apparently not served me well in this profession of momhood, I'm smart enough to know what a gem I've met in you. Hope you continue to change lives! XOXO, Dumb Mom

*I am sorry to report that due to unexpected interference we will not be able to post the actual hand written card today. And, by "unexpected interference" I mean that someone (the baby, cough) absconded with the printer cord and hid it in a yet to be determined location. Hopefully it will resurface in time for next week's handwritten card. SORRY:(


Equidae said...

What a nice thought.... thank you for sharing I passed by from SITS

ck said...

My girls like my mom better too. And I'm pretty sure that one day our grandkids will love us 100 times more than their parents.

Because frankly, if our kids parent the way they currently behave, they're gonna have some really challenging children. And I think it's only fair.

Mimi said...

OMG...Don't be a "HATER". My grandson's are obviously of my genes thus able to recognize beauty, undying youth, intelligence and the sweet kindness of a Mother Teresa.
If you had paid close attention in your childhood (between the potty training and coming in late from the prom with you-know-who-which-I -didn't-trust) you would have noticed this.
Oh's funny how we both want the same thing 'cause I wanna grow up to be just-like-you.

lov said...

you know, i was so excited about how sweet this post was....
and then i read what your mom wrote...which just made it that much better!!

too sweet!!

Kathy B! said...

That's awesome. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman. I'm sad to say, though, that I've been counting on that stupid village to save me.... Back to the drawing board, I guess.

Mira is triplet crown said...

Wow, well at least I have a good MIL. And your thank you note is well appreciated I'm sure, by the woman who has no sense of humor. Altho your uncontrollable child absconding with the cord just kinda lends some credibility to her conclusion that you have, in fact, raised wild children who need a 'settin' down and talkin' to.'

Jennifer said...

OMG, Bud hid David's watch the other day and we can't find it anywhere. He also has some peanut butter cups hid around the house and keeps showing up with them and won't show anyone where they are. That's just cruel.

I read your mom's comment. So sweet. Awwwwww.

parentingBYdummies said...

In wild child's defense, Dumb Mom left the cord in a very child accessible place (the playroom floor) when she went out to yell at Dumb Dad. So it is less his fault and more mine, but in an ongoing effort to shirk responsibility I blame other people for things. It's an illness, really.

Grammy Suzzy and DJ Doran said...

What a delightful post! I am a Grammy to 2 of the best little ones, and I can only hope they think of me like yours think of your mom!!! And I just LOVE the advice given to parents. Wish that ALL would do the same.

Alicia said...

great post!! your mom sounds awesome! and i know the kids are obsessed with my mom...i don't think they would even notice if i left for vacation...maybe i should try?!

Erin said...

I wrote about my mom too, and my oldest just LOVES his grandma, and the look on his face the first time my mom grabbed him and said "DID GRANDMA ASK YOU TO DO SOMETHING? YOU MOVE WHEN I SAY MOM" and I immediately heard Bill Cosby from his Fatherhood standup, it was funny! Grandma is still his favorite but when all is said and done nothing is as safe and Mommy's arms!

Mira is triplet crown said...

Um, who's kids sit still for an hour or more? Anyone? Anyone?

kisatrtle said...

That's funny because my hope is to be nothing like my mother...

Marshmallow Circus said...

I call my kids dudes too!

I was going to write something else, then noticed the note your mom left. Too hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Great post! Your mom sounds awesome. Remember what Bill Cosby says about grandparents, "They're nicer because they're closer to getting into heaven."

Rocksee said...

Great post girly! You always do wonderful stuff. Your momma sounds completely cool!

Business Mommy said...

Lucky to have such a wonderful mom to be so involved with the kids! My mom is a total pushover since my little one was born. I had been worried. She always told me that she was NEVER baby sitting. She had better things to do. Then when I got knocked up, she said that she wasn't having all the baby stuff at her house, I had to keep it at mine. Well, two seconds after I gave birth, she has a baby bed, car seat, play pen, high chair, rocker, and walker in her house.

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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