The Bachelorette: A Look Back

At the losers.

I love the reunion show.

You know, it's the one where they show all the stuff the contestants (that's what they really are, right?) said "in confidence" to the camera (which is like a huge oxymoron) while stinkin' drunk. And then, all the contestants ('cause it's just as bad if not worse when the contestants are women) act all awkward as they try to explain-defend-and-cover-their-totally-exposed-asses or, pretend that they are really the shiznitz (think Juan trying to stir up crap w/Dave in the presence of security) and meant every inappropriate word they said.

It's awful and hilarious all at once.

I seriously sat there with my mouth open for portions of it.



Let's start with David (you know, the one dripping swagger from his pores). David and his man code was way too much for Jill to handle. But, I am not totally against having my rear end complimented (probably just me, though, since it hasn't happened in say, at least 10 years), any way I can get it. And, a little groping might be nice, too.




And, Juan. Don't know why all the audience ladies were clapping for him tonight (possibly his obviously rehearsed responses to events/people he has had plenty of time to reflect on). Could be it's because they felt a connection to him since he. Is. A. Woman.



My boy Jake. I like him and I think he got a bad rep just because of the way he looks. I sympathize with him (since it happens to me all the time) for being judged by the way he looks. It's hard for people like us, who look perfect, because people automatically think we think we are perfect. In my case, it's true, but apparently in his case, it's not. He has some issues (and I do too honestly, the first one being that I don't look perfect, but secretly wish I did) to work out, like getting over a chick with whom he spent about 48 hours, but managed to fall desperately in love with.



Wes. Wes. Wes. Still a douche, but apparently he's also a punk since he didn't bother to show up. And, I'm just curious about whether this actually helped his career, since pretty much everyone who saw the show thinks he (and that played out song) is wiggity wack.

Best part of the night was watching drunken Ed do his thing.

Hilarious.

I have a thing for happy drunks.

They are fun (you can have those testosterone-infused-dying-to-punch-someone dorks that seem to populate college bars).



Oh, and seeing Michael again. My sweet, sweet Michael. He didn't say much, but he really doesn't have to, does he?

And (this is the last best part, I swear) the outtakes. I love outtakes anyway, but those were pretty good. Gives me something to look forward to in the future. I can imagine that my house full of boys is going to be perpetually laced with the rancid smell of farts.

Yeah for me!




Down to two. Who is it gonna be?