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Friday, June 19, 2009

Digital Dictionary

This Digital Dictionary is a work in progress.

I am developing it to help old people like myself stay ahead of the curve when it comes to online social networking.

Hopefully this helps:)

MySpacing.
-verb

1. Kickin' it on the Internet's equivalent to Compton. Not that Compton does not provide a plethora of multicultural experiences, it just sorta has a "reputation" thanks to various gangsta rappers of the mid to late 90s. My Space has earned its self a similar hood rep. Any place where this is okay, sorta deserves to be referred to as the Internet's ghetto.

2. Using MySpace, the social networking website, like a busy street corner wherein you engage in trashy talk with various, possibly questionable, individuals.

Sentence: Hey, man, I was so bored last night that I was Myspacing girls for like three hours.

Facebooking
-verb

1. Connecting with old friends from high school and college on an online social networking site that should go back to the days when you needed a college email address to log on (I know, I'm old) since it has recently been discovered by various My Space elite. Facebooking people you haven't spoken to in years just so that you may determine whether or not they got fat is a common practice.

Sentence: I was gonna MySpace her, but I couldn't find her so I had to Facebook her instead.

Blogging.
-verb

1. Building a web page in which you share useless, random, or generally inappropriate aspects of your daily life with people who don't know you but think they do b/c they read your archives. Divulging the most intimate details of your life (last time you had sex, the fact that your baby may not be your husband's, and that you haven't had a bowel movement in three days) is common, and even acceptable blogging practice.

2. Building a web page in which you share funny stories, anecdotes, and/or events from your day to day life for personal pleasure with the hope that others will be at least slightly amused (and possibly highly entertained) by your writing.

Sentence: I'm so glad I started blogging because I have made so many cool "friends".

Tweeting.
-verb

1. A mini version of blogging wherein you use catchy one liners to garner interest in you and/or your blog from random people and celebrities. Tweeting allows you to blog on the run using 140 characters or less.

2. An annoying, although surprisingly effective, method of advertising used quite profusely by sellers of porn. (Side note: Seriously, I am literally going to cut my eyes out if I have to look at the Britney F*^%$ed message from user XJ87FKI#E one more time. I block it like everyday. What about me makes Random Porn Promoter think I would be interested in Britney getting f*^%$ed? It's a forgone conclusion anyway, is it not?)

Sentence: I Tweeted Soleil Moon Frye (@moonfrye) last night about the funniest movie, but she didn't respond. WTF?


Poking
.
-verb

1. A lazy way of greeting someone that allows you to inform them that you are thinking of them without actually having to type out a message informing them of such. Basically, you are saying, "The thought of you kinda, sorta crossed my mind, briefly, and I almost decided to ask you how you are doing and what you've been up to, but then I realized I really don't even care." (Side note: I never have been a fan of poking. It hurts and it's annoying, and even when the person is trying to be all cute and funny about it, it pisses me off. It's the same via the Internet. Getting poked just makes me annoyed. If you really cared, you'd send a text.)

Sentence: I poked four people on Facebook, and no one poked me back (maybe b/c you are an annoying loser, just a thought). WTF?

Tagging.
-verb

1. Attaching a keyword to your digital information that allows it to be found again while searching. This is the formal (aka boring) form of tagging that we are all familiar with.

2. Using spray paint to mark a building with graffiti. This definition has nothing to do with the digital realm, so forget I even brought it up.

3. Sending an obnoxiously long questionnaire about random, useless, largely uninteresting facts to a "friend" so that they may waste a ridiculous amount of time completing said questionnaire, and then subsequently pass it on to another unsuspecting "friend" to complete. It's a never ending cycle of ugly. (Side note: And, in my expert opinion, the reason you don't know any of the things in the "100 Things You Don't Know About _________," questionnaire is that YOU DON'T CARE! None of the stuff people include is usually even remotely interesting or worth knowing. You shoulda just poked her instead and saved everyone valuable time.)

Sentence: If you are considering tagging me with a questionnaire on Facebook, please, do me a favor and just don't.

Feel free to add more...

You can tweet me about them (@thenagainphoto).

And for fun... Tweet of the week.
@Diane Birch why does the tap water in Brooklyn look like milk? Great question.

14 comments:

Stereos and Souffles said...

Stopping by from SITS, I like your Myspace vs Facebook outlook.

thatgirlblogs said...

SITS here, and was happily distracted by your little ninja DJ playing, "boom, boom, pow." loved-it!

Tsquared417 said...

I never knew what poking was...thanks!!

Shannon said...

LOL! Myspacing is so Ghetto! I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks so! :)

Isabel Princes said...

Haha I love this list! Don't forget about Facebook official... when you finally admit to the world you're dating someone. Up until that point you're just a booty call

Mira is triplet crown said...

Wow, how did Myspace get so bad? I swear it started out as innocent teenagers, didn't it? And you have done an admirable job of defining those things we are too old to understand. You must have some cool in you yet!

Marshmallow Circus said...

Ha ha, hilarious!

Alicia said...

I should forward this to my husband so maybe he'll know what the freak I'm talking about!

SmartPumpkin'sMom said...

Thanks, for keeping us allmposted!
SITS...SITS. SITS...SITS.SITS.SITS

I am SITSing you! Define that! LOL!

parentingBYdummies said...

Ok smartpumpkin'smom: SITSing-verb, could it be using the most amazing blog promoting site to locate and comment on various blogs that are quite possibly awesome as well and then telling all of your SITS cousers about said awesome blog? Sounds like a good def. to me:)

Doodles said...

Love it...Stopping by from SITS.

Childhood said...

Your digital dictionary is hilarious! I was trying to explain to someone why MySpace was ghetto! Nice to meet another SITS girl! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

faemom said...

Thank you for the dictionary as I have now had kids and become uncool, even though I know cool people my age.

Stesha said...

Was that really Barbie? She sure has changed...lol!

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
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