parenting BY dummies has moved!

You will be automatically redirected to the new address. If that does not occur, visit
http://parentingbydummies.com
and update your bookmarks.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Discovery

Tonight was full of discoveries at Casa de Dummies. We all expanded our minds with little effort or desire. Sometimes it happens like that; you learn the most when you're not even trying.

#1 Discovered...
...that roughhousing with your dad and two younger brothers can easily and quite unexpectedly lead to a black eye. Moral: Protect your deck.
...how to puke in his mouth. I'm not sure why he would want to do this, but he said that he'd rather do that than get it on the floor. Good man. Very good man.

#2 Discovered...
...he can fart on command. Unless he is planning to do his own laundry, I suspect that he will also need to learn to tell the difference between a wet one and a dry one soon.
...that he has an uncanny ability to talk trash like a tween girl. He threw out a "this sucks", a "duh", and a "you're lame" tonight. I'm not liking where this is going.

#3 Discovered (big night for #3)...
...adding spinning to his dance repertoire is fun and highly appealing to spectators. It is a sure fire way to elicit raucous applause and cheers, which he lives for. This also led to the discovery that you have to be leery of various inanimate objects surrounding you as you spin b/c (as inanimate implies) they DO NOT move. Moral: Again, protect your deck.
...hitting Mommy may feel good initially, but it quickly leads to a very scary place. I guess Mommy's angry voice and evil eye is that place. Unfortunately for Mommy, the initial affects of the scary voice/evil eye combo wear off pretty darn fast and it quickly becomes funny. Guess Mommy learned something, too.
...he can pick his nose, locate a foreign object, and eat it. Apparently there is an endless treasure trove of yummy sitting right on his face that he previously did not know about. Yummy!

Husband Discovered...
...life as a second class citizen is here to stay (unless we get another dog and then 3rd class here he comes). The days of getting your meal served to you first (or at all) are long gone. No more back rubs or massages. So long special grown up desserts. Sorry Buddy, but I currently have 3 impatient people screaming for dinner, 3 backs to rub simultaneously, and if you want a snack there are graham crackers or animal cookies, take your pick.

Mommy Discovered...
..today is Wednesday, not Tuesday, Dummy. Too bad I didn't get that figured out until about 4pm, after I had already sent out a "Happy Tuesday" message to one of the blog sites I frequent. Way to go, Mommy.
...that I'm pretty sure I live at a carnival with a bunch of carnies. I'm thinking I should charge people for entrance into our little freak show. I know I'd probably make a killing. But, I'd have to clean the play room and do the dishes so, never mind.

1 comment:

badmommymoments said...

This whole post is hilarious! I especially like the fact that #1 learned how to puke in his mouth. What makes someone consider this would be even more interesting.

And #2 "Unless he is planning to do his own laundry, I suspect that he will also need to learn to tell the difference between a wet one and a dry one soon." Do boys/men EVER truly learn this?

Giving away two copies of the movie Extract starring Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Contest ends 4/2/10.
Related Posts with Thumbnails

Show Some Love

Vote for my blog parenting BY dummies on Mom Blog Network

the mom blogs