I just don't know.
#3 is creeping up on 21 months.
He's the size of a 2 year old.
He talks like a 3 year old.
But, he still handles his "business" like a 1 year old.
Which I'm fine with.
Totally, completely, 100% FINE with.
I mean, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I'd rather be doing than plunging up to my elbows in child made feces a few times a day.
And, I'm considering giving it a real go just to get the obsessed-berating-in-my-day-ride-you-till-you-break Mimi monkey off my back.
She's filled to overflowing with tips, tricks, comments, and well meaning (but tiresome) advice about when and how one should potty train a toddler.
It's not that her suggestions bother me, it's more that she's sorta beating a dead horse (dead horse being me) on this one, as I've successfully potty trained two older children I'm really not in the market for advice on the subject.
After trying two distinct methods: potty train by a certain age v. potty train when the child is definitely ready to be successful I've come to the conclusion that I'll do it when
I'm not one of those people who can be consistent for long periods of time. I don't work out consistently, I don't eat healthy consistently, I don't clean my house consistently.
I'm more of a kick girl; workout kicks, diet kicks, cleaning kicks.
Sad? I'm sure.
True? Unquestionably.
Knowing this, I'm not sure why potty training would be any different?
I just can't keep at it for months on end, with regressing, and rebelling, and all that junk.
With #1 I succumbed to the Mimi Master (he was my first, she was my Mr. Miyagi).
He took months to train. He'd do well for a day or two and then randomly piss all over himself (and numerous corners of that house) the next.
Then he got the liquids under control only to be thwarted by the solids.
He would sneak off to various hiding spots (the pantry, the closet, under the table, etc) to do his dirty.
Can't find the baby?
Must be taking a crap.
And, should you happen to locate him in the midst of his "lightening" he would get seriously peeved (which for him meant he staged a nonviolent sit-in wherein he resisted being relocated to the bathroom by use of the dead weight strategy).
#2 entirely different story.
I waited until he was two and a half, I brought out the supplies, I gave him the instruction manual, and in less than 7 days he was workin' that potty chair.
So, with #3, I'd planned to
Until he came up with an alternate plan.
We'll call this Plan #3: Operation Teach Yourself.
It was devised entirely by #3 because the extent of my potty training up to this point involved me sitting him on the pot before his bath just to get him outta the way while I filled the tub.
But, a coupla days ago, after an unforgettably-rotten-cloth-diaper-ruining deuce I had words with him.
Me: Seriously, Kid. This is bad business. We need to talk about you using the potty.
#3: Umhm, Mommy.
Me: No, really. *Gag*. This is insane Dude, what did you eat? You smell like a grown man down here.
#3: I tinky Mommy? My poopy tinky?
Me: Understatement, Buddy. Your poopy foul. Your poopy reeks.
#3: *Clapping* My poopy tinky. *Forces out a fart for emphasis.
Me: Do you think you could go in the potty instead? When you feel it low down in your tummy, you gotta tell Mommy your tummy hurts and you gotta go potty. Can you do that for me kiddo? Tell me when you feel it and we'll hurry up to the pot. Kay?
#3: Kay, Mommy. Peepee in potty. I peepee in potty.
Me: Actually, you don't, but it would be awesome if you did, kay?
#3: Kay, Mommy.
I strapped on his brand new, fancy shmansy Bumkin All-in-One diaper that we recently received for review (which we love by the way, but we are not huge fans of the two piece deal because it slips and slides around a bit trying to keep up with Action Jackson over here).
Hours later, little man is outta the bath and I'm about to zip him in the jams for the night when outta nowhere Smarty Pants Baby says, "In my tummy, go peepee".
I'm perplexed. I question him, he repeats, I consider ignoring, I decide that would be wrong, I drag him to the potty where low and behold...
THE KID PEED.
IN THE POTTY.
ON HIS OWN.
WTH?!
We had a huge Peepee in the Potty Party (read, I ran around the house teary eyed screaming @ top of lungs that praise is in order while other family members halfheartedly shared in my enthusiasm and/or ignored me completely).
Next day, I'm reluctant, but I decided to capitalize on this little gift from above.
I roll out the training undies (I'm convinced that Pull Ups, especially the feel and learn sort, were invented my Satan).
I drag the baby potty outta the garage.
Set it all up, introduce him to it, and get ready for the magic.
After at least 18 uneventful trips to the potty (I think he might have just wanted to check out the sights), he peed on my floor once and in the oven of his play kitchen twice (at least he knew to put it somewhere).
I don't consider this progress by any stretch of the imagination, and now I'm not sure what to do: keep letting him drag me to the potty for exploration and toilet papering or throw in the towel temporarily until both of us are a little more into it?
