Wordful Bloody Snow Wednesday: A Song

We’ve been “trapped” together in this house since Friday, February 5th, at 1pm when the Snow of The Century began dumping it’s evil onto our home.

I use the word trapped loosely because we are not actually sealed inside (thank goodness for small favors).

We can go out to shovel the drive, or to shovel the walkway, or to shovel all around the heater.

We can go out to do “fun” stuff like sled, or have snowball fights with the neighbors, or build igloos on the deck…

But we can’t go to school.

And we can’t go to work (unless an ex-Marine in an old, musty 4x4 rattles down the driveway at 5am in the morning and carts me off to work against my will leaving the scent of 100 year old doughnuts and scorched coffee burned into my nostrils for the rest of eternity**).

And we can’t go out to buy stuff for the quickly approaching “holiday” which means that while Hubby will be gifted with a sweet little something from Banana Republic’s online shop (way to go proactive Dumb Mom), chances are good I’ll get nada (and all I even wanted was a big hunk of chocolate to eat all by my lonesome in the laundry room).

It’s times like this I wish I was more of a drinker.

BFF says it would help.

I say it would most certainly lead to a divorce.

Cupid says it works for him…

I know that tons of people have it worse (I guess I could be without power, but I guess I could also be dead) and I’m just being all whiny with my California-native self, but I don’t give a care.

I’m over the snow and as this is my little piece of the Blogosphere I’m gonna gripe about it endlessly because I friggin’ feel like it.

I’ll get over it when the effing sun comes out.

Until then, here is a song and some pictures for you to “enjoy”. Well, the song is actually for Hubby just for fun and the photos are of The Dudes who seem to be happily oblivious to the torture they are conspiring with their father to subject me to.

Pretty cute for evil masterminds, eh?!

Come back tomorrow to participate in Thank Me Later Thursday (include your links and all that) so that you can get another earful of why snow sucks/why winter sucks/why people who like winter suck/why people who have names that rhyme with winter (like Binter and Shanitalaquinter) suck and some other stuff.

Bloody Snow! Bloody Snow! Bloody Snow!

Oh the weather outside is frightful,

And the fire is un-delightful.

I can think of a place to go.

But we’re stuck in this bloody snow!

It doesn’t show signs of pauseping*.

so I sit in the corner rocking.

The lights are about to blow.

And we’re stuck in this bloody snow!

We didn’t even kiss goodnight,

And I think you should sleep out in the storm.

Because I want you outta my sight,

And I really don’t care if you’re warm.

I think I am slowly dying,

I could smile, but I’d be lying.

If you speak I’ll punch you in the throat.

‘Cause we’re stuck in the bloody snow!

*An explanation for “pauseping”- It is not a typo, it is a word. Go ahead, Google it if you don’t believe me.

Get Wordful with Angie at Seven Clown Circus!

Things Boys Do

When there is a blizzard dumping a butt load of snow outside and trying it’s darnedest to ruin your life with its stupid white, powdery-soft-but-will-frost-bite-you-in-a-heartbeat-if-you’re-not-careful stupidness…

After you haul out all of the are-you-seriously-still-eating-that-stuff-Dude? Play-doh, and the bored board games, and the books you’ve read so many times they give you nightmares, and the Wii.

When you are at your wit’s end with the creative-indoor-games-that-are-fun-and-safe-but-don’t-require-a-lot-of-supplies.

There is little else for a murder of boys (murder, that’s what they call a group of crows; seems to fit this particular scenario perfectly) to do other than…

1. Fight. Which they do without the interference of a Snowmergency, but for some reason, when I can’t escape (aka get to work) it is WAY more unbearable.

2. Cry. No wait. That was me.

3. Run. Around, and around, and around. What inspired builders to make houses this way? Is it a design specifically created to allow little boys to drive their mother’s mad? Probably since most of the builders are male and after day three of SnowMG 2010, I’m convinced that all males are evil geniuses with a secret plot to end those of us who bear them.

4. Get dirty. Not in the traditional way (you know with grass stains and the like). In new, more creative ways than before. Like by rubbing blue Play-doh so hard for so long that it turns to paint which you then apply to your face as war paint. Because, you know, as I already mentioned, this is a war, against me, and all I stand for (cleanliness, sanity, order, etc.).

5. Stuff their faces. Dang it. That was me again. Snowbastard 2010 is turning Dumb Mom into a Snowfata$$. I’m willing to bet that by the time this Snowfoolishness has run its course I’ll be a good five pounds heavier. Just another side effect of being trapped inside: you can’t escape the foodstuffs that are calling your name.

6. Fight more. But over different stuff. Like, whose turn it is to sit on my lap (WHAT?! You want to touch me? In a nice way? That doesn’t end in my injury and/or death?!). Or who gets to help me empty the upstairs trash cans. Dumb stuff that wouldn’t come up were they not going insane with cabin fever.

7. Wait. For it to end. So they can wait some more for it to be cleaned up. Or melt. From what I know about my (privately plowed) community, we have a better chance of it melting first.

8. Make stuff up. Like new games. They called this one Daddy Swing…

Which they made up right after Daddy Donkey and Daddy Dork (oh wait, Daddy Dork was my game and it was fun).

9. Cry again. By this time they are all in on the crying action.

10. Cuddle with their mom because they have run out of things to do and even fighting with each other has gotten old. Never thought the day would come when they would get tired of fighting. Guess that’s why we’re calling it Snowmagedeon!

I’m sure I could write a heartfelt post about how happy we are to be enjoying time together, but the fact of the matter is that is not the case. I’m just not feeling it and neither are they. We are not at each other’s throats (okay they were for a bit) or anything, but all this nothing to do-ness and can’t play outside-ness is a drain on the psyche of boys and their moms. I know I should be more creative, but I’m not so if any of you have tips for things-to-do-with-boys-when-trapped-in-a-blizzard-that-are-easy-and-don’t-require-a-butt-load-of-supplies send them my way because from what I hear we’re looking at the possibility of no school for a week!

AHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, off to process that possibility while I await a ride to my stupid-face-stupid-ugly-dummy-head job where they will quite possibly hold me prisoner for the next three days (they agree to bring you in, but no one said anything about bringing me back).

Thought this would be a perfect Sunday’s in My City post to share with Unknown Mami. Go check her out for more!