Ask Me Monday

You asked so I'm answering.

From: Tania@Larger Family Life (she was unable to come up with another question to ask me)

Question: Am I that unimaginative?

Answer: Do you even have time for an imagination? You have 8 kids! I'm sure you spend all of your time imagining what a quiet room or a good night's sleep is like.


From: Kathy B.

Question: Can I lose 10 lbs without exercising?

Answer: Nope. If you weighed, say about 200 lbs more than I know you do, I'd say yes. For whatever scientific reason, if you weighed more like 350 pounds as opposed to 120 pounds (which is probably a gross over estimation which I hope you forgive me for since we haven't met in person yet) I'd say certainly. Just skip a couple of Twinkies, or Philly Cheese Steaks, or whatever it is that makes you 300 pounds overweight and drink a few glasses of water and you'd wake up in the morning 10 pounds lighter. Or, if you were a man (since it's SO easy for them). But, since you aren't (300lbs or a man) then you can't (lose weight w/o exercising) so stop it now and go for a run already. Or, have an ice cream.


From: Rita/Fighting off Frumpy

Question: Do I wish I had a daughter?

Answer: Um, yeah, can't you tell by this?




Princess crowns and pink panties.

But, I'm pretty sure I want one in addition to, not instead of, my boys. Since that ship has sailed (in the form of a scalpel and a steel table) I guess I'll have to settle for dressing my boys like little ladies from time to time.


From: Angie

Question: Did I inherit my humor or was I born this way?

Answer: Neither. I developed this odd state of being as a defense against my largely humorless family. Kidding! They are funny, just no where near as hilarious as me!


From: Lisa Anne

Question: Ideas for free summer fun.

Answer: Well, since summer is over, can I be off the hook for this one? I'm working on some ideas for the fall, though so I'll keep you posted:)!

From: I'm just sayin'-Kerri

Question: What is my ethnicity?

Answer: This is an easy one...I'm black. But, to explain the endless curls sprinkling off my dudes' heads, Hubby is Mexican (but actually, they get the curls from me anyway, so that doesn't really explain anything).

From: Blog Baby

Question: Why didn't I grant Blog Baby an interview?

Answer: Well, there is an extensive screening process from prospective interviewers and there is an extremely long waiting list and I have just been overwhelmed by requests for appearances and sound bites and the paparazzi are really just getting outta control. But, I'll have my people call your people and set something up.

From: Faemom (this evil genius had a plethora of questions to ask me; lucky me)

Question: What is an open id error? Does blogger hate me? What's up with the lame ass word recognition? If I get pissed off at blogger, should I take it out on my laptop?

Answer: Open id error? Not sure. Can I use a lifeline? No? Okay, then I'm gonna say it's when a bouncer gets duped by a fake id. Yep, that's what it is. Does Blogger hate you? Probably, because Blogger hates everyone, right? The word recognition is lame, and I hate it, and that is why you won't find any of that business around these parts. And, finally, I wouldn't recommend beating up any of your own stuff, unless you have figured out some way to prove Blogger liable (or is it culpable, or is it both?) and, if that is the case, please, do tell!

From: Nanny Goats in Panties

Question: Stranded on a desert island with one book, one iPod, and one TV, who would you sleep with?

Answer: Okay, um, Robert Pattinson, Justin Timbrlake, and T.I. Wait those weren't the choices? Oh well, whatever, that is my final answer.

From: Aubrey

Question: What is my favorite type of ice cream?

Answer: All flavors are my favorite. It only has to call itself ice cream and I am in love.

From: Teresha & Dan

Question: What kind of camera do I use?

Answer: I have two cameras, both of them are made by Canon. One of them is a Rebel XTi and one is a D40. But, of course, the gorgeousness of my photographs can be entirely attributed to my great skill and trained eye. Sike! It's the camera for sure:).

Want to ask something for next month? Be my guest, I'm all ears!

Ask Me Monday

People are naturally, at times uncontrollably, nosy curious.

I'm sure you can relate, but people have a tendency to ask me numerous strange questions, online and IRL (in real life for you Internet speak novices!).

So, in an effort to not ignore them any longer, I'm going to answer them, because why not?

If I really want to put my "life" out there in the world and let millions (okay maybe more like hundreds, or possibly a hundred? Maybe?) of people read this everyday occasionally, I might as well be honest and open bookish.

Accept for the name thing. Kinda like being all mysterious about that one, at least as far as the dudes are concerned.

Maybe one day I'll tell. I'll have a guess #1's name contest or something (contest will be closed to family members and friends, of course). But, not yet. For now the number aliases work great.

But, other questions I'm willing to answer.

Even the personal ones I get from IRL strangers, like, "When are you due?".

Despite the fact that this is an extremely embarrassing question to be asked 18 months postpartum when you are as sterile as an operating room table, I generally smile and politely inform them that, "I am not pregnant at all, just a Homer Simpson-esque, beer bellied, fatty. But, thanks for noticing!".

So have a burning question you have to know the answer to?

Leave it in the comments, or shoot me an email (parentingbydummies[at]gmail[dot]com) if you are gonna ask a real doozy and don't want the world to know how sick your mind is (don't worry, I won't tell!).

And, it doesn't have to be about me. You can ask about anything, about the dudes, the Hubby, my "expert" advice on a parenting issue, what shoes you should wear to the prom (oh, too old for prom? I'm still a 17 year old in my mind and sometimes it gets the best of me, like when I watch Twilight repeatedly all weekend), anything, I'm game!

Only off limits question is: When are you due? Because, I'm so over that one, plus I just answered it here, so no more pregnancy questions, kay?!

I'll try to answer all of them next month in my "Ask Me Monday" post. And, don't worry if you don't have any, I already have plenty saved up ones from IRL and online, so I'll share anyway (I always do, don't I?)!

Just in case you are sitting at home thinking, why would I want to ask Dumb Mom a question? Where is Smart Mom when you need her? I've included a photo of the day for you to enjoy instead, so feel free to ignore the above part, while you enjoy another shot of #2 enjoying this place we call home.



Off to do some crunches, or to eat ice cream, because neither one of them will be helpful anyway:)!