What NOT to wear

#2 recently saved his grandmother a load of money. Whenever she visit from Cali. he tries to spend as much time with her as he possibly can: waking her up at the crack of dawn, sitting with her while she reads, watching her prepare for bed, etc. On her most recent visit, he accompanied her into the restroom while she went through her daily ritual. As she was applying her facial moisturizer he inquired as to what the product was. She informed him that it was face cream to make her beautiful and he kindly replied, "It's not working". Although she died a little on the inside, she attempted to continue as if nothing were amiss. #2, however was not done with his cosmetic product review. When she began to apply her perfume he again inquired what the nature of the product was. She told him that it was to make her smell sweet. His response: "It's not working either". While I am not certain of the brands she is using at this time I am making it a point to never invest a dime in these products. Really, what is the point of wasting money on cosmetics that just don't do what they claim?

Marriage

My 3 year old is obsessed with getting a wife. Strange, but true. My first indication that he was thinking about life with a wife was when he asked me why my husband had to sleep in the bed with me, while he spent the night alone in his room? I simply explained to him that it was b/c I am Daddy's wife (not his). To make him feel less hopeless, I informed him that he too could look toward a brighter future (and a warmer bed) since when he obtained a wife of his own his lonely nights would come to an abrupt end. So, obviously this is all my fault; a theme that you will note in each of these posts (hence the name). From that day on he has been concerning himself with locating and acquiring a wife. In all fairness, he seems to have a list of good reasons why he needs to have a wife. First, he would like to have his name changed. He informed me that when he gets a wife he could be called Daddy also, as opposed to his real name. Second, he needs someone to help with the dishes (but he did offer to do all of the cooking). And lastly, as previously mentioned, he hates sleeping in his cold bed all alone. The best part is that anyone who takes him up on his offer will be well taken care of. On our way to gymnastics today he explained to me that he needs "hundreds of dollars in cash" so that he could buy a motorcycle and "nice dinners" for him and his wife, and he's gonna cook them. I mean, what more can you ask for? Unfortunately for all of you who are eagerly offering up your daughters, he does have a couple of women in mind already. He originally hoped that his Mimi would be available, but once I explained that the age difference was too great he narrowed it down to another close friend his own age. He is simply awaiting the perfect opportunity to pop the question. Don't worry, I've warned her mother and they will be relocating ASAP.

#3

Last but certainly not least. I have truly been dragging my feet with regard to the intro of my youngest son. While #2's antics leave me speechless, my inability to accurately describe #3 is based more on the little time we have spent together. As I type he is 376 days old give or take a day(if my math is correct). As a 1 year old his personality has only recently begun to develop. And, while I can certainly note a few things that are exciting and challenging and (dare I say) frightening, I am hesitant to say too much (don't want to jinx it) about the kinda guy he is. However, it must be done if you are to gain a true picture of the home dynamic I am tasked with muddling through on a daily basis. So, let me do it like this. Three words to describe #3: happy, hungry, and busy. All pretty self explanatory. #3 is a happy dude. He came out with a quiet smile on his face and pretty much navigates his days in a calm, happy, lighthearted way. Until food is involved, at which point he becomes down right unruly. He is at all times in the market for something to eat. And (luckily) he is not too picky about what he eats, just so long as it's food. Actually, it doesn't even have to be truly considered food for him to give it a go. Nor does it have to be small enough to fit into his mouth. He is willing to try just about anything, regardless of size, shape, color, etc. On occasion, odor may be a deterrent, but not always. And, if you have the audacity to attempt to consume something in his presence without offering him a substantial portion, please be prepared to suffer the wrath of an obviously starving (see photo for proof) recently turned 1 year old. As for his third prominent character trait, all I can say is that we call him the Task Master for a reason. If he is awake (& not eating) he is on a mission of some sort. Moving toys from one room to the other, unpacking the diaper bag, rearranging the kitchen cabinets, alphabetizing the DVD collection, surfing the net. He is constantly involved in some sort of task, the goal of which is often classified information. On most occasions nothing (except for food) can deter him from completing his undertaking no matter how frustrating or painstaking it becomes. I'm convinced that he will one day make an excellent Navy Seal, unless they torture him with food.

#2

Ahhh. I have been dreading this posting since I initiatied this blog a few weeks back. While my second son is the child who will most often serve as the example on this blog, I have been hesitant to compose his introduction because I find it unbelievably difficult to find the words to express who he is. Basically, I am speechless! OK, let's start with the positives (that strangely double as "challenges"). He is energetic, sensitive, articulate, driven, committed, and analytical. Now, for the challenges: he is energetic, sensitive, articulate, driven, committed, and analytical. Funny, right?! I mean I can add a few more onto the list of challenges, but lets just focus on these; best to start small.
The thing about it is that really it is all about the wording (and perception). Because the way I listed his main personality traits above he seems like a pretty deep, interesting, guy. And, he is, you have no idea. But, let me rephrase. Instead of energetic, sensitive, articulate, driven, committed, and analytical, I could say he is hyper, touchy, outspoken, persistent, and methodical. In his case it could go either way. Some times he is totally in tune to your feelings, he's thoughtful and compassionate. Other times he is taunting and hurtful, with an agenda to destroy. He is his older brother's biggest fan one minute, and his worst enemy the next. I can compare him to a chameleon because like this elusive reptile his personality is at times deceptive. He may appear to be a calm, sweet, mild mannered child at preschool, and mysteriously turn into the Tasmanian Devil at the grocery store. However, unlike the chameleon that changes to match its surrounding, W changes the surroundings to match him. Maybe he is more like the Incredible Hulk? I always felt that guy got a bad rap 'cause he was trying to be this normal guy and just live his life like every other non-mutating human. But, something stupid/annoying/tragic would happen and he would inadvertently flip his lid. He doesn't want to do it; it's like he has to. And while I'm pretty sure W was never exposed to any "gamma bombs" (google the Hulk) something clicks in his little brain and off he goes. Basically, if he is in a good mood, it's a party; but if he's in a bad mood, look out b/c you and all your smiling, happy friends are going down.
It is precisely his unexpected nature that keeps me on my toes, and engaged. He causes me to really work at motherhood, at personhood in general. I'll admit, there are days that he has turned me into an evil, frightening, foaming-at-the-mouth creature (I'll admit, a little Incredible Hulkish myself), but I am getting better at diffusing the situations, and even avoiding them altogether. If nothing else, W is by far my most exciting, vibrant, grab-the-bull-by-the-horns (and beat it senseless) child. He brings the noise. And, while I might not be 100% (or even 50%) well equipped to handle it (or him) I am having a memorable, for lack of a better word, time trying. And, after nearly 4 years trying to prevent him from ripping his clothes off and reeking havoc on all of society, I am proud to announce he's getting better at controlling his inner hulk. One day, he might master his little beast and use his powers for good, not evil:)